When I was single I lived in some kind of vast vague-land where any possible future vision of love would have been fine and figured I’d just know it when it happened. I said to myself things like, “If the right man comes along then I might get married,” “I’ll just know him when I meet him,” and, “Maybe I’ll have kids, I’ll see when that time comes.”
The problem is that there isn’t anything closely resembling commitment in any of those statements. I said and thought words like “if,” “maybe,” “when,” and “might.” There wasn’t any decision on my part as to what I wanted and certainly no talk of wanting that NOW. I might as well have just said, “I’m going to sit back right here, wait for my true love to saunter into my world and fall in love with me so hard that he will just tell me what HE wants and drag me along with him.”
And anyone that knows me knows that I’m a strong woman that doesn’t like to be told what to do let alone be dragged. Oh no. So, what the heck was my problem back then? For many personal reasons (better saved for future posts) I lacked commitment. You know, the big C word that normally precedes being in a relationship? When I realized this I wondered, “If I can’t commit to what I want then how can I commit to a partner and expect him to commit to me?” So then I did the work on myself and got very clear about my real vision of love – to get married and start a family. And I seriously committed to it.
The result was that as my vision became crystal clear my thoughts, my dreams, my words, my actions, my friends, my social life, and my whole life became a reflection of my future love life. In only a matter of months I did meet my husband to be.
If you’re unclear about what it is you want in love and you’re ready for something different than you have currently (where you’re at is totally okay, too, you being ready is most important), here are 3 steps you can take now to help you along:
1) Make a list of all possible ways you can be in a love relationship: for example but not limited to – married, not married but living together, children or none, opposite or same sex (if that’s unclear for you, which is not uncommon), dating only, single and happy – anything that comes to you. Then re-read your list and imagine each scenario as if it’s in your life now. Honestly ask yourself, “Which one makes me feel the best?” Circle the one or few of them that stood out to you.
2) Write or imagine the story of this situation or situations. It doesn’t matter if this is in your life now or not or how much you think you can have this or not. For now, you’re just playing with your imagination. How do you feel? Are you happy here? If it’s what you think you want but doesn’t feel good there might be some deeper work for you to do on limiting beliefs created by past experiences. If one of them makes your heart sing then move on to…
3) Commit to your vision of love in your life. Write down and say out loud, “I commit to attracting (your vision story) into my life and living from this place now.” Read or imagine your story and commitment as much as you can. Tell friends and family. Take actions that will bring you closer to your vision.
Committing to what I want in love and in other areas of my life has been a powerful force for growth and living my dreams. I hope you’re enjoying your life in all aspects on this journey of love!
Now you’re turn – what commitments have you made in your life that brought you success? Please leave comments below!
Lots of love,