Do you find that your relationships consistently have a similar pattern or story? Is there a certain type of partner you find yourself with repeatedly? Is he always late or standing you up? Do you think that this is the way it’s always going to be because nobody’s perfect or because that’s just how men are?
If this sounds familiar you are so not alone. Most of us go through our lives making choices based on our default patterns and stories without even realizing it. But what if I told you that it can be totally different than the way it’s always been by just re-writing what your story is? What if your love story can be exactly the way YOU want and decide it to be?
If you’ve bought into a negative story you are so not alone. Whether it was from your upbringing or fed to you via the media (oh, don’t get me started about the negative media), a story you choose to take on can seem very real. Some common negative stories that get thrown around and bought into are:
Men and women can’t live with each other, can’t live without each other.
Men just have to spread themselves around.
Relationships are tough and hard work.
It’s normal to have fights in a relationship.
Nobody’s perfect so I guess I’ll just have to take what I got.
It’s so hard to find a mate I’m just lucky to be with the person I have now.
And on and on.
In my reality (and in other couples I know) none of the above stories are true. All of those above statements are completely false in my love story. Because I deliberately created my own story.
Everything is just a story. What you choose to believe in and accept is just a story that becomes your reality. Have you ever had a fantasy or imagined something and really felt like you were living that experience even though it was just a story? Yes, me too. Because the truth is that your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. And as you imagine, so goes your life.
So I say – get thee to writing a new story! A story that is exactly what you desire in your love life. A story that makes you feel good and beautiful and loved like the amazing being that you are.
Here’s an exercise for you: Write your love story down as “a day in the life with my soul mate” from the moment you wake up together until the moment you fall asleep. Forget about the grammar, spelling, literary merit, or whatever; just write what comes to you. What things are you saying to each other? How do you speak to each other? What things is your soul mate doing? What activities are you doing? What is your life like with him? How do you feel?
There are just two rules for this new story to be effective:
1) It must be believable for you. Save the epic drama for your bestseller, instead write it as the life you can really see yourself living.
2) It must feel good to you. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not your true story. It’s perfectly okay to write several stories before you get to one that feels just right. Sometimes it takes time getting used to the idea of a new story.
When you’ve got your story down just that way that you want it, it feels true to you and it feels good – then read it twice a day. First thing in the morning and right before you go to bed, as those are the two times of the day your brain is most receptive.
Notice how you feel when you read it over time and how it becomes more and more believable to you. Notice how you begin to see evidence of your story around you, maybe in other couples in your life. Notice how you realize you will no longer accept anything less than this story again. Notice how you start to trust that the Universe is arranging for this very story to come to you into physical form very soon. What else do you notice?
Did you write your new story? How did you feel reading it? As always I’d love to read your comments below.
If you need guidance re-writing your story I’m happy to offer you a free 30-minute clarity session. Just contact me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.
Love & Light,