Monthly Archives: August 2013

When You Feel You’ve Met Your Soul Mate and He Doesn’t Feel the Same Way

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A reader of this blog and friend emailed me last week to tell me about her heartbreaking situation and asked me what my thoughts were about it.

In the email she detailed that she had a romance with a man that she felt was the one, her soul mate, and it had been going great for a while.  She felt he was in love with her as much as she was with him.  However, he was just coming off of a messy divorce and wasn’t ready for a deeper commitment at that time and they parted ways.  She respected where he was at and gave him space while waiting for him to come back when he was ready.  Long story short, he never did and is now in another relationship and engaged to be married.

As a woman who’s been in a similar situation let me just say first…ouch.  I’m so sorry for the heartbreak you are going through.  Myself and so many women I’ve known over the years have gone through something similar.  Please know your feelings are totally validated here and just allow yourself to feel them whatever they may be.

Regardless of what you’re going through now you won’t need to feel this way for very long.  There is a light at the end of this tunnel if you can allow the situation to be a learning and growth experience on the way to meeting  your real love.

First let me address the concept of Soul Mates.  I mean, what the heck is that anyway?  There are so many definitions and theories on this ranging from you only get one – to – you have tons of them including your first grade teacher.

I don’t really know for sure (to say the least because I’m not a channel, enlightened, and don’t have memories of my soul life before incarnating in this body as a squealing baby) – but what I’ve noticed in my life and my feeling is that we have soul mates in two major categories: 1) The long term life journey growth and expansion kind, and 2) The short term, smack you in the face, wake you up so you get on the right path to what you really should have kind.

So with that in mind…yes, this man could have been your soul mate.  But he was more likely a soul mate that helped you to re-direct your course onto the right path so you can meet your long-term, soul mate partner.  I lovingly think of my own last heartbreak (which I’m so thankful for now) as my “wake up call guy.”  Sounds like this guy was your wake up call guy.

Secondly, and the most important aspect to this I want to address here is the fact that he wasn’t sure about committing to you and you still felt he was the one.  This is not to judge you as I’ve been there, too, but this is an important part of the waking up process…

When all is said and done – as much as you may love someone if he doesn’t feel the same way about you is that good enough for you in your soul mate relationship?  I mean, does that really cut it?  Do you want to wake up every morning next to someone who had to really wait and think about whether he wanted to be with you when you were positively sure about him?  Do you want to affirm to the Universe or God or Source that that is as much as you deserve to be loved?

Yes, you may be head over heels in love with him but nevertheless I sincerely hope you answered NO to those questions.  If not then you have some work to do transmuting your limiting beliefs about your worth in love and relationships.

One of the most important steps to deliberately attracting your soul mate aside from finding the one you love, of course, is to be open and ready to receive love from the one that loves and feels the same way about you.  To love the one that loves you. When you’re attracting deliberately you’re not just attracting any guy that feels you’re his maybe when he’s ready – you’re attracting the one that is ready to drop everything and do anything to be with you and take vows with you at the altar and maybe even make mini versions of the two of you.

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Personally, after my wake up call guy I’ll be damned if I was going to settle for anything less that that.   And I don’t think any other woman should either.  I forget who said this originally but it was something to the effect of, “the Universe doesn’t take anything away from you unless it plans to give you something better.”

So what do you need to do, believe or have to be open and ready to receive that kind of devoted love?  What would it take for you to know you have that kind of love waiting for you just around the corner? 

Two days after I received that email I saw this quote from Jeff Brown of soulshaping.com which describes this perfectly:

“If one person doesn’t want the relationship, then it’s simply not a fit. No sense trying to figure out why we think they don’t want it. No sense blaming it on their commitment issues. No sense waiting around for them to realize they wanted it after all. And if they don’t want it, then we don’t want it, because we don’t want to be with someone who is not there for it fully. That’s the thing about a love relationship- it’s an agreement that has to be signed by both souls. If one doesn’t sign, then nothing has been lost. If it’s not a fit for them, it’s not a fit for us either.” Jeff Brown http://soulshaping.com/

I hope this inspires you to love the one that loves you.  How about you?  Have you had a wake up situation that re-directed you on to the right path or that made you truly realize your worth?  I’d love to read about it, please comment.

If you liked this article please like and share and all that good stuff!

Lots of Love & Light,

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How To Be the Beautiful Goddess That Attracts Her Soul Mate

“Beauty is how you feel inside and it reflects in your eyes.  It is not something physical.” ~ Sophia Loren

“When I go out now men are staring at me or engaging me in conversation!”  One of my clients said this to me after our session on embodying divine goddess energy a couple of weeks ago.  She discovered what her divine, feminine nature was and learned to merge with that energy.  As a result men are staring at her even when she goes to the store in her sweatpants and without make up.

Do you want to attract your soul mate but don’t feel beautiful enough to draw in the man that you really want?

As a woman I can honestly say that I’ve felt like this at times in the past and still struggle with this from time to time.  There probably aren’t too many women who haven’t had this feeling either at one time or ongoing.

But hey – they say that Cleopatra wasn’t a traditional beauty and didn’t look much like Elizabeth Taylor at all, but she is forever legendary for her power and goddess-like energy.  That somehow comforts me.  I read an article on the Huffington post about seven famous, and beautiful, actresses who were all told at some point in their careers that they weren’t pretty enough to make it.  Also comforting to know that beauty isn’t just about physical perfection and that it radiates from the inside out.

There are countless examples of women throughout time who weren’t perfect looking (who is really?) but are still radiantly beautiful.  They are beautiful because they are fully embodying their own goddess-like nature and are living from that energy.

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In the search for love you must learn to do the same as your ideal soul mate partner is drawn to your unique, goddess-like qualities – they are the perfect compliment to his masculine or warrior qualities (somehow saying his “God” qualities there seems inappropriate).

So how do you embody your individual goddess-like nature?

1) Write down your unique qualities both physical and non-physical.  Try not to judge what is right or wrong, an appealing quality or not.  All qualities have some benefit and a potential challenge to them – so there isn’t a good or bad.  Some examples could be:

–       Strong

–       Intelligent

–       Driven

–       Sensitive/emotional

–       Passionate

–       Athletic

–       Curvaceous

–       Lithe

–       Relaxed

–       Motivated

–       Truthful

–       Nurturing/Mothering

–       Helpful

–       Delicate

–       Innocent

And continue to list qualities that are uniquely present and important to you in your life (i.e., it helps you be successful in your career or makes you a great mom).

2) Find a symbol that reminds you of your unique energy.  This can be a picture or statue of a goddess or even a picture of a real woman, like a celebrity, that is living fully from that energy as well.  If you’re a creative type you can even draw her or write about her.  Just find someone that can be your continued inspiration.

3) When you feel you need a “beauty” boost – close your eyes, sit in meditation, and imagine invoking the energy of that woman goddess and merging with her.  If you chose Cleopatra, then literally imagine what it would be like to be living your life with her energy.  (But not her life, yikes.)  If you are preparing for a date, a job interview, a speech, a performance or anything – invoke her energy and merge with her.

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This can be a very powerful and life changing exercise to do regularly.  It has the power to change how you take care of yourself, how you eat, how you dress, how you interact with others, how you do anything.  It has the power to make you look and feel beautiful anytime.  It has the power to draw that one man to you who will absolutely adore you in all your beauty.  (Actually, it will probably draw many more to you but ideally you will just choose one.)

I hope you find this goddess invoking exercise fun and helpful.  What else do you do to embrace your own beauty?  Please comment below!

Also, if you enjoyed this post please share with the social media buttons below.

With Love & Joy,

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Attracting the Same Type of Guy Over and Over? Here’s How To Take Charge and Change It

“I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.” ~ Wayne Dyer

If you’ve been dating for a while and/or have had multiple relationships you may have noticed a similarity or two (or more) amongst the men you are attracting into your love life.  It can be frustrating to say the least because at the beginning it may seem like this guy is totally and completely different than the last but as time goes on the same characteristics, and possibly the same annoyances, start to pop up.

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I can relate. This was happening with me until one day I had enough and decided to get off that seemingly endless wheel of disappointment.  I took a sabbatical from dating to figure out why I was attracting and was attracted to such similar men, and how to attract someone I could really build my life with.

There were three fundamental truths about attraction and the Law of Attraction that I came to know during this time that I hope can shed some light on this for you:

1)    You are not a victim to whom you attract into your life.  Attraction is a two way street – if you are attracting someone, it means you are also attracted to him.  It is your attraction for each other that brings you together.

2)    It’s essential that you bring your awareness to what you want to attract instead.  If you are obsessing about the way things have been or could have been then energetically you’re still holding that in your life.

3)    Like the Wayne Dyer quote above – your energy, vibration, beliefs, and being matches that of whom you’re attracting.  Yep, it’s hard to admit or fathom, but it’s true.  You are attracting the people into the life you do because of your own vibration.  Now, this isn’t so you can blame yourself or anybody else as we all are doing the same thing all the time.  But it’s a wonderful opportunity to become aware, learn and grow.

So now what do you do?  Here’s what I did with much success and you can, too, to change this pattern:

1)    Acknowledge how you were benefiting from attracting those guys into your life and acknowledge that you no longer need that benefit and that you are willing to change your self.  Awareness is the first step to breaking a pattern.

2)    Ask yourself, “What do I want instead?”  Write down all of the qualities, values and traits that you would like to have in a partner instead.  Also, write down the qualities, values and traits that you would like in your ideal relationship.  If you can’t help but think of an icky trait of an ex, then just write down what the opposite of that trait is.  Do this until you have a clear picture of the type of person you intend to attract from now on.

3)    Grow your Self, “change” what you Are.  Yes, be your Self but until you are a match for the type of person you really want in your life, you will keep attracting what you attracted before.  With deliberate attraction this is more about revealing your authentic Self rather than simply changing or acting differently.  A couple of questions to get your started – ask yourself, “What kind of woman do I need to be to attract and be in a relationship with this type of man?” and, “What do I need to believe in order to attract and be with this type of man?”  Your answers will give you a lot of direction for where you want to be and need to be before you enter in to your next relationship.

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This can be a painfully truthful yet very liberating process to go through.  However, if you really want to deliberately attract your ideal partner it is essential to take these steps before beginning the dating process again to avoid getting into the same relationship with the same type of guy.  When your energy has changed to match the person and relationship you truly desire you cannot help but attract the right man to you!

I hope you find this inspiring and helpful.  I’d love to read your comments, so please leave them below!  And if you enjoyed this article and resonate with the message please share with the social media buttons below.

Love & Light,

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How Dating Games and Rules Are Blocking Your Potential For Soul Mate Love

Last week I heard a money mindset tip from a coach that went, “It’s easier to make lots of money than it is to make a little money.”  At first it sounds backwards and whether you believe that or not is okay, but as soon as I heard that it resonated as completely true for me.  Why?  Because it’s exactly the same concept (after all everything is energy) that I coach my clients on about love.

Attracting and being in your ideal relationship is so much easier than being in default one.

This truth is why I’m so inspired to help women attract the love they always wanted because it’s so EASY and feels GREAT.  No more banging your head against the wall wondering if he’s serious about you or if he’s going to decide to commit.  No biting your lip in fear that if you express your feelings to him he will run off.

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Actually, your soul mate feels the same way about you as you do about him and the whole process just flows and it can flow rather quickly if that’s what you desire.

The other night I was skimming through some dating advice articles from major magazines and online newspapers; I was horrified that what’s promoted as the popular, mainstream belief is that dating and relationships are a struggle and sacrifice.  That a woman shouldn’t express how she’s feeling too soon even if she is physically intimate with her man (HUH?), that she shouldn’t complain (holding in her feelings will passively come out in complaints, btw), and that she should just focus on having fun (somewhat agree depending on what fun means).

Well, would that feel good to you in a relationship?  Does being anything other than being your Self and expressing your feelings of love feel like a good relationship to you?  Does not getting the love and commitment you desire sound like it would be fun after a while?

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If you are so done with dating (like I was when I attracted my husband) and are ready to attract your soul mate then there is something you need to know:

Behaviors, games, tactics, and “rules” that have you being anything other than your Self will attract the wrong man to you.  Period. 

Authentic, honest expression of who you are as a woman and knowing what’s important to you in your life and in your relationship will attract the right man to you. 

So this brings us to why soul mate love is so easy; because you get to totally be your self and be up front about what you’re looking for.  What a relief!  Anyone who doesn’t match that won’t be a time and energy drain.  And when you deliberately attract your partner it will be because he wants the very same things you do and he’s just as ready as you are for love.  You will know sooner that you are right for each other and should marriage be on your minds, that will happen sooner, too, as it did for myself and other couples I know.

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So when you read any dating advice, including this, please check in with your self.  Does it feel true and good to you?

“Learn to guide your thoughts in the direction of things that feel good, and discover the power that only comes from vibrational alignment with Source.” ~ Abraham–Hicks

If you enjoyed this article and you resonate with the message, please share with the buttons below or comment.  Let’s spread the word about authentic and loving relationships!

Lovingly & Truthfully Yours,

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