A reader of this blog and friend emailed me last week to tell me about her heartbreaking situation and asked me what my thoughts were about it.
In the email she detailed that she had a romance with a man that she felt was the one, her soul mate, and it had been going great for a while. She felt he was in love with her as much as she was with him. However, he was just coming off of a messy divorce and wasn’t ready for a deeper commitment at that time and they parted ways. She respected where he was at and gave him space while waiting for him to come back when he was ready. Long story short, he never did and is now in another relationship and engaged to be married.
As a woman who’s been in a similar situation let me just say first…ouch. I’m so sorry for the heartbreak you are going through. Myself and so many women I’ve known over the years have gone through something similar. Please know your feelings are totally validated here and just allow yourself to feel them whatever they may be.
Regardless of what you’re going through now you won’t need to feel this way for very long. There is a light at the end of this tunnel if you can allow the situation to be a learning and growth experience on the way to meeting your real love.
First let me address the concept of Soul Mates. I mean, what the heck is that anyway? There are so many definitions and theories on this ranging from you only get one – to – you have tons of them including your first grade teacher.
I don’t really know for sure (to say the least because I’m not a channel, enlightened, and don’t have memories of my soul life before incarnating in this body as a squealing baby) – but what I’ve noticed in my life and my feeling is that we have soul mates in two major categories: 1) The long term life journey growth and expansion kind, and 2) The short term, smack you in the face, wake you up so you get on the right path to what you really should have kind.
So with that in mind…yes, this man could have been your soul mate. But he was more likely a soul mate that helped you to re-direct your course onto the right path so you can meet your long-term, soul mate partner. I lovingly think of my own last heartbreak (which I’m so thankful for now) as my “wake up call guy.” Sounds like this guy was your wake up call guy.
Secondly, and the most important aspect to this I want to address here is the fact that he wasn’t sure about committing to you and you still felt he was the one. This is not to judge you as I’ve been there, too, but this is an important part of the waking up process…
When all is said and done – as much as you may love someone if he doesn’t feel the same way about you is that good enough for you in your soul mate relationship? I mean, does that really cut it? Do you want to wake up every morning next to someone who had to really wait and think about whether he wanted to be with you when you were positively sure about him? Do you want to affirm to the Universe or God or Source that that is as much as you deserve to be loved?
Yes, you may be head over heels in love with him but nevertheless I sincerely hope you answered NO to those questions. If not then you have some work to do transmuting your limiting beliefs about your worth in love and relationships.
One of the most important steps to deliberately attracting your soul mate aside from finding the one you love, of course, is to be open and ready to receive love from the one that loves and feels the same way about you. To love the one that loves you. When you’re attracting deliberately you’re not just attracting any guy that feels you’re his maybe when he’s ready – you’re attracting the one that is ready to drop everything and do anything to be with you and take vows with you at the altar and maybe even make mini versions of the two of you.
Personally, after my wake up call guy I’ll be damned if I was going to settle for anything less that that. And I don’t think any other woman should either. I forget who said this originally but it was something to the effect of, “the Universe doesn’t take anything away from you unless it plans to give you something better.”
So what do you need to do, believe or have to be open and ready to receive that kind of devoted love? What would it take for you to know you have that kind of love waiting for you just around the corner?
Two days after I received that email I saw this quote from Jeff Brown of soulshaping.com which describes this perfectly:
“If one person doesn’t want the relationship, then it’s simply not a fit. No sense trying to figure out why we think they don’t want it. No sense blaming it on their commitment issues. No sense waiting around for them to realize they wanted it after all. And if they don’t want it, then we don’t want it, because we don’t want to be with someone who is not there for it fully. That’s the thing about a love relationship- it’s an agreement that has to be signed by both souls. If one doesn’t sign, then nothing has been lost. If it’s not a fit for them, it’s not a fit for us either.” Jeff Brown http://soulshaping.com/
I hope this inspires you to love the one that loves you. How about you? Have you had a wake up situation that re-directed you on to the right path or that made you truly realize your worth? I’d love to read about it, please comment.
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Lots of Love & Light,