Tag Archives: Abraham-Hicks

What If Your Soul Mate Hasn’t Come Along and What To Do Now

Recently on my blog and in social media I’ve been seeing women post about the dilemma of really wanting to attract their soul mate, doing a lot of various manifesting work in that area, and then becoming very disappointed when their soul mate doesn’t appear in their life.  Yes, I totally agree that it’s heartbreaking to really want something and not have it pan out the way I wanted it to.

There could be countless reasons as to why this might be which may include but are not limited to:

The time isn’t ideal right now.

Your inner vibration is not up to speed with the vibration of what you’re wanting to attract into your life.

You may be ready but your soul mate may not be.

You might have limiting beliefs still overriding your belief in receiving your desire.

You may not fully trust that it’s going to happen.

Unbeknownst to you – you might not be allowing it to come into your life.

Your desire for a mate might be coming from a covetous, lower vibration that may not be in your highest interest.

And other countless possibilities.

All of these applied to me at some point in my journey for love.  Go inside and ask yourself – what is the reason my love hasn’t manifested in my physical life yet?  It’s nice to acknowledge and understand the reasons but that isn’t the most important part, which is…

To then get on with your life.  Remember the soul qualities and values I talked about in my last post on deliberate attraction?  Live in that place now.  Live the life that you want to share with your soul mate even though he isn’t here with you physically yet.  That is trust – truly knowing and believing that you will have your desire before it is physically present in your life.

Those last few months right before I met my husband I clearly recall shifting into that zone of trust and allowing.  I had no doubt in my mind that I would meet him very soon.  I took actions, like joining an online dating site, but was relaxed about the result.  Even if I didn’t meet him soon it was okay because I was enjoying my life anyway.  The desire to meet him and knowing I would was still very much there but I didn’t need to meet him to be living the life I wanted.  Does that make sense?  Are you willing to make that shift, too?

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So what can you do now in your life that will nurture your soul qualities?  What can you do now that represents your highest values?  What can you do now that feeds your personality and energy?  What physical actions can you take that is in alignment with these qualities? 

I hope you find this to be helpful and maybe a little fun, too.  As Abraham-Hicks always gently reminds their readers, we are too serious and need to just have more fun on this journey!

As always I’d love to read to your thoughts and appreciate your comments.

Always Love,

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How Deliberate Attraction Helps You Attract a Soul Mate Relationship and Some Good Summer Reads

In an earlier post I highlighted some of the differences between the usual type of attraction and attracting deliberately.  The name “deliberate attraction” is inspired by law of attraction experts’, Abraham-Hicks, use of the words “deliberate – creating, intent, etc.) in their works; which basically means, in my words, that we have the power to make choices in our lives in alignment with our highest good and highest wisdom at all times by tuning in to our feelings.  The good, internal feelings (not to be confused with bliss or a temporary high) are what we are going for – they are an indication of what’s in alignment with our soul.

When deliberately attracting a soul mate relationship you, to quote another huge inspiration Stephen Covey, “Begin with the end in mind.”  More on Covey later.

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1) Begin by with the end in mind by first asking yourself what soul qualities you want to express in your life; i.e., unconditional love, service, charity, honesty, devotion to God.  (For more info on soul qualities I highly recommend the Sanaya Roman books Soul Love and Creating Money, too.)

2) Then ask yourself what values are important to you in your life; i.e., family, living healthfully, joyful employment, spiritual community, having fun.

3) Next ask yourself how these soul qualities and values present themselves in your personality or energy; i.e., an honest person, communicative, smiles and laughs a lot, physically affectionate.

4) Lastly, you ask yourself what this looks like in the physical world; i.e., wants to have children, physically fit/exercises, what area you want to live in, what church if any you belong to, whether you travel or not, etc.

This, because it’s a true representation of who you really are at the soul level, will very closely match your soul mate.  You attract what you are sending out, so when you live from this place you will attract a mate that has the qualities most important to you.  Personally, I attracted my husband into my life after I began living authentically from my soul self and released a lot of old patterns and beliefs that weren’t truly expressing who I was.

So have you noticed the main difference between regular ol’ attraction and deliberate attraction? 

It’s a big paradigm shift.  It’s the reverse order of what we’re used to about standard attraction – which is usually to see, chat, feel chemistry, get to know someone and hope for the best in the long run.  Based on my experience and on the examples of people I know in fantastic partnerships, (though there may be exceptions to this and God bless you that are) attracting deliberately is more often effective for bringing in that long-term love that your soul truly desires and thrives in.

I’ll close with a detailed description of Highly Effective Habit #2: Begin with the end in mind as written on Stephen Covey’s website.

“So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you–right now–who you want to be, what you dreamed you’d be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty–successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It’s about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.”

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Book recommendations:  Anything by Abraham-Hicks, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Soul Love and Creating Money by Sanaya Roman.

Some soul love food for thought and great reads to begin your summer!

Lots of Love,

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Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Work Sometimes for Love (or Anything Else)

Actually that title statement isn’t true.  The Law of Attraction always works.  It’s just that sometimes you might get the opposite of what you really thought you wanted.  Or you get the same you’ve always got – seeming like nothing ever happened.  That’s because the Law of Attraction has been misunderstood to be effective with thoughts and dreams alone.

Have you ever asked the Universe to bring you love but then just get either the same type of partner you’ve always attracted or no one at all?   Whether it was with love or something else, many of us have experience this using the Law of Attraction.

Please know that you can’t think your way into making a desire manifest into your life. The Universe doesn’t respond to your thoughts and words (not directly anyway), it responds to your feelings.  True, your thoughts can change your feelings – I’ll tell you how in a bit – but your feelings, or vibration, is what’s doing the attracting.

Therefore, if you’re making a wish, saying a prayer or setting an intent for true love to come into your life but the feelings behind it are – the fear of being alone, needing to get over heartbreak, unworthiness, depression, anxiety or anything else that feels urgent and unpleasant to you – then you will only attract people or situations that match those same feelings.  Attracting a partner from this low vibration isn’t ideal because like attracts like.  It can be like taking a pain killer.  You might feel some immediate relief but the initial cause of dis-ease will present itself in you and your partner.

So how do you manifest, pray and set intentions from a higher vibrating place when the whole idea of wanting something stems from the realization that you don’t currently have it?  There is a way to manifest by acknowledging the negative feelings AND focusing on the good feelings you do want to have instead.

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This a gradual process that I’ve found has worked for me in manifesting my husband and in other areas of my life:

1)    Fully experience the contrast – The negative feelings aren’t wrong or bad.  Allow yourself to experience any pain and take any steps here you need to get help.  Feeling this contrast brings forth “rockets of desire,” as Abraham-Hicks says, and clarity about the love you now intend to have.  If you hadn’t first experienced the contrast, you wouldn’t have clarity.  So, yay for your contrast!

2)    Declare what you WANT (not what you don’t want) – It doesn’t matter whether it’s in prayer, in your journal, to a friend, or on Twitter – declare to the Universe the love you intend to have now.  It commits you to taking this journey in a profound way.

3)    Tap into the positive feelings and essence qualities of your (coming soon) relationship – This is the part that gets skipped over very often.  The contrast provided the motivation, but the positive feelings are what you want to attract.  Ask your self – why do I want to meet my soul mate?  How do I want to feel when I’m with him?  Then practice experiencing those feelings as much as possible.

4)    Notice these feelings and this kind of love in your day-to-day life – Be these feelings.  Be this love.  Just like Gandhi’s, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Be the love you want to have.  Experience it in people, places and things that give you the feelings and essence qualities you want in your ideal relationship.  They are all around you waiting for you to take notice.  (This step was very fun for me to realize how much I was surrounded by such incredibly loving people.)

5)    Imagine your love is already in your life now and enjoy – Be the woman that you want to be with him and trust that he is on his way.  This is the Law of Allowing.  You have complete faith that the Universe is bringing your love to you because at this point he’s such a part of your being.  It was at this point in my own journey that my husband came into my life.

I hope you find using the Law of Attraction in this way to manifest your love and other desires extremely helpful and a whole lot more fun.

Have you used the Law of Attraction successfully to manifest something you wanted?  How did you feel and why did it work so well for you?  I’d love to hear from you!

If you need some guidance getting into that positive feeling place to manifest the love of your life, please contact me for a free 30 minute clarity session at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com!

Have a joyous and love-filled week!

Love,

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Does the Idea of Love Feel Repellent To You?

For years when friends and family would ask about my love life I would cringe.  It always went something along the lines of, “You’re very attractive, why don’t you have a boyfriend?” or even, “You aren’t married YET?”  Yeah.  That was fun to hear.   The truth was that in my heart I really did want those things but something about the suggestion of a serious commitment just seemed repellant to me – and I continued to be repellant to serious commitment.

It wasn’t until I went inward and took my own journey to soul love that I realized I had a number of limiting beliefs about love that, in my mind, seemed to really, really be true but that were completely blocking me from being open to love.  How could I find the love I truly wanted while also maintaining negative beliefs about it?

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In time I discovered that the answer was not in trying to get rid of the beliefs but in changing them, or rather, RE-FRAMING them.  I was perfectly okay the way that I was.   Those beliefs that I took on as a young one were for my best good at the time, but it was time to transmute those beliefs into something that worked for the strong and loving adult I had become.  Actually once I got the hang of re-framing beliefs it was fun and very powerful in different areas of my life.

Here’s an example of how to re-frame a negative belief using a process similar to the Abraham-Hicks’ Law of Attraction method of Which Thought Feels Better:

Negative belief to change: Married people are unhappy.

Belief I would like to believe instead:  That I can be very happily married.

Starting from the original belief, reach for a phrase or thought that you totally believe right now in your body and soul that is closer to your end goal that the first belief, even if it’s just a tiny bit better.  The process can look something like this:

Married people are unhappy –> I know I have the power to change my thoughts –> I’ve had negative beliefs about certain things in the past that I now feel better about –> Some people do claim to be happy in their marriage –> I remember Mr. & Mrs. Johnson down the street when I was a kid, they seemed pretty happy –> Actually, I know a guy that talks about how much he loves his wife all the time –> There’s probably some more guys like him out there that are looking for a woman to love like that –> I’m glad that I’m still single so I can look forward to meeting such a guy!

See how it works?  This progression can be as quick as a few minutes or if the belief is really ingrained then it may take weeks or months of continually reaching for better beliefs.  Two things to keep in mind in order for this process to be effective, 1) the thoughts you reach for must truly be believable for you and, 2) the thoughts should be feeling better and better to you – your feelings are your guide and you want good ones!

I hope this process is helpful for you, please feel free to share your experience with me about using it.  What, if any, limiting beliefs are you willing to change to have the love you want?  As always, I’d love to read your comments below!

Tons of Love,

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Three Questions to Begin Deliberately Attracting Your Soul Mate

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In the last post I wrote about the difference between the common default attraction versus deliberately attracting your soul mate.  The fun part now is the process of, in Abraham-Hicks words, deliberately creating your ideal partnership.  I say it’s fun because it can be like a game where you allow your imagination to roam free.  Actually the better you feel and more excited you get and the more fun you have about achieving your ideal desire, the quicker the manifestation is likely to occur.  Always keep in mind what Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.”  If you’re having fun and feeling good then that will seek you, too!

Here are three questions and steps to get you started on your journey:

1)    What is it that you really want in an ideal partnership?

Get precisely clear on what you want the nature of the relationship to be (like married or unmarried but living together, children or not), the type of partner you want to be with, and how you see your life together.  I know there’s a popular myth out there that a woman should “just be cool” until she knows how the guy feels about her – but that is the complete opposite of being a deliberate creator.  Waiting for someone to decide what he or she wants with you is not honoring the lovable and powerful person you truly are.  If you apply, “What you seek is seeking you” then being anything other than who YOU are when seeking your ideal love is going to draw inauthentic, unclear or wishy-washy love back to you – and can lead to heartbreak further down the road.  Be clear on what it is you truly want.

2)    Why do you want your ideal partnership?

Knowing why you want something fuels the energy behind your desire.  It also can tell you if what you’re asking for is in your highest interests.  If your reasons for wanting to be with your ideal partner are based in love and feel good – for example, wanting to be with someone because, “I want to express love with someone every day,” then you’ll attract a partner that wants the same good feeling.  If you ask why and your answer is fear-based, for example because, “I don’t want to be alone,” then you’ll also attract a partner that has the same fear based feeling.  “What you seek is seeking you,” so remember that you will attract a partner that wants a relationship for the same reasons (whether you realize it or not).  Also being clear on why you want your ideal relationship will further clarify what it is you want and simplify the process of dating and looking.

3)    How do you want to feel when you are in your ideal partnership?

Now we’re getting down to the important stuff when it comes to being a powerful creator in our lives.  It’s all about feelings.  In our analytical, logical society feelings have been put on the back shelf described as being just “chick stuff,” (actually things typically thought of as masculine like sports and war are just as much about feelings) but if you truly want to receive your heart’s desire – then you must tune in to your feelings about it.  Again, to be a broken Rumi record, “What you seek is seeking you,” and that is completely true when it comes to your feelings.  Do you want to feel good, happy and loved in your partnership?  Then if you focus on those wonderful feelings when you think about your life in your ideal relationship, then you will attract the partner that is also seeking those feelings in a relationship.  If your feelings about being in a relationship are bad (mine were for quite some time years ago), then check in with yourself and ask, “What is the limiting belief that is causing me to feel this way?  Am I willing to transmute this into a new belief that serves me now?  What is the new belief that I’m willing to adopt to move forward with the love I truly desire?”

The more you focus on your good feelings about what it is you desire, the quicker it will come to you and the more enjoyable and authentic your results will be.

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In summary, clarify – What? Why? and How?  And get into those good feelings as much as possible! 

I hope this was helpful for you and gives you a good starting point in manifesting your dreams.  When have you manifested something wonderful in your life?  As always, I’d love to read your comments below.

Lots of Love & Good Feelings,

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Romancing with Deliberate Attraction versus Default Attraction

What is deliberate attraction?  The name is a reference to the Abraham-Hicks materials on Law of Attraction where they talk about the Law of Deliberate Creation.  You can watch a brief video with Esther Hicks talking about creating deliberately here.  In short, when we are intending to deliberately attract something into our lives we must first come into the feeling, energy, vibration or alignment of what it is that we truly want by focusing on what we want.

For example, when I was younger I wanted a man to come into my life and love me dearly and want to marry me.  I thought if I waited around long enough it would happen eventually.  The thought alone of my desire was not enough to make it happen. Truthfully, it was so out of alignment with my energy back then for many reasons; the idea of marriage scared me, I was fearful of getting hurt, I didn’t trust someone to be there for me and love me, and my heart was closed to giving and receiving love.  As a result, the relationships I was attracting by default were based in fear and neediness, which was just a reflection of my own energy at that time.  It never ended well needless to say.

This kind of default attraction is what most of us do in life because we weren’t taught to deliberately create our reality as a child.  There’s a lot of media (books, movies, TV, and dating advice columns) that encourages romance by default – like the notion of falling in love by locking eyes across a crowded room.  For the record, I do not recommend choosing anything, especially your life partner, by default attraction.  Default attraction happens when you haven’t thought in advance what you want in a relationship (it’s so important to know that) or what you value and are just “waiting” for the right one to come along, when you’re physically attracted to someone and just go for it, or just accept being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you would like.

And please don’t feel bad if you’ve done this.  I operated this way for most of my life and we are literally encouraged to act this way by popular entertainment.  If you’re feeling bad about it then know that is just your higher self telling you that it’s time to change and attract deliberately!

So in deliberate attraction, we clarify want we want and get into the good feeling space (or energy, vibration, etc.) of what it is we do want – not what we’re afraid of happening.  This can happen quickly or may take more time depending on the amount of negative energy someone has around what they desire.  What is the result of deliberately attracting our soul mate instead of mating by default?

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From my own personal experience I can honestly tell you that when I took deliberate charge of my love life, these were the results:

I had clarity and KNEW the type of man I would end up with in advance

It took the mystery and guessing games out of dating

I felt in charge and confident going on dates

I never felt pressured to have sex

I didn’t play into or focus on the undesirable behavior of anyone around me

I could be honest about what I wanted with others

I didn’t waste time with men that weren’t in alignment with me

The men I did meet, whether there was interest or not, respected me and were very nice

After only seven weeks of dating online with deliberate intent, I met the love of my life

Dating him felt good and was joyful

He is exactly the kind of man I deliberately wanted to draw into my life

Though we aren’t perfect people :), our marriage feels great and wonderful every day

Living deliberately in this way is a choice we can make every day with decisions big and small, beginning with our thoughts and intentions.  As strong women in this day and age it’s more important than ever to choose our love based on good feelings and that’s in alignment with our highest self, or God or Spirit.  Our partner must support the best woman we are capable of being.  Looking back I can’t believe I ever accepted less than that and I hope no woman feels she has to settle for less again.

black-87853_1920 In my next post I’ll give you three ways that you can begin deliberately attracting the love you want now!

For now I’d love your comments – Which goals or achievements in your life do you feel you created deliberately?  How do you feel when you think of those things?

With my heart full of love,

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