Tag Archives: Achievements

Three Questions to Begin Deliberately Attracting Your Soul Mate

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In the last post I wrote about the difference between the common default attraction versus deliberately attracting your soul mate.  The fun part now is the process of, in Abraham-Hicks words, deliberately creating your ideal partnership.  I say it’s fun because it can be like a game where you allow your imagination to roam free.  Actually the better you feel and more excited you get and the more fun you have about achieving your ideal desire, the quicker the manifestation is likely to occur.  Always keep in mind what Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.”  If you’re having fun and feeling good then that will seek you, too!

Here are three questions and steps to get you started on your journey:

1)    What is it that you really want in an ideal partnership?

Get precisely clear on what you want the nature of the relationship to be (like married or unmarried but living together, children or not), the type of partner you want to be with, and how you see your life together.  I know there’s a popular myth out there that a woman should “just be cool” until she knows how the guy feels about her – but that is the complete opposite of being a deliberate creator.  Waiting for someone to decide what he or she wants with you is not honoring the lovable and powerful person you truly are.  If you apply, “What you seek is seeking you” then being anything other than who YOU are when seeking your ideal love is going to draw inauthentic, unclear or wishy-washy love back to you – and can lead to heartbreak further down the road.  Be clear on what it is you truly want.

2)    Why do you want your ideal partnership?

Knowing why you want something fuels the energy behind your desire.  It also can tell you if what you’re asking for is in your highest interests.  If your reasons for wanting to be with your ideal partner are based in love and feel good – for example, wanting to be with someone because, “I want to express love with someone every day,” then you’ll attract a partner that wants the same good feeling.  If you ask why and your answer is fear-based, for example because, “I don’t want to be alone,” then you’ll also attract a partner that has the same fear based feeling.  “What you seek is seeking you,” so remember that you will attract a partner that wants a relationship for the same reasons (whether you realize it or not).  Also being clear on why you want your ideal relationship will further clarify what it is you want and simplify the process of dating and looking.

3)    How do you want to feel when you are in your ideal partnership?

Now we’re getting down to the important stuff when it comes to being a powerful creator in our lives.  It’s all about feelings.  In our analytical, logical society feelings have been put on the back shelf described as being just “chick stuff,” (actually things typically thought of as masculine like sports and war are just as much about feelings) but if you truly want to receive your heart’s desire – then you must tune in to your feelings about it.  Again, to be a broken Rumi record, “What you seek is seeking you,” and that is completely true when it comes to your feelings.  Do you want to feel good, happy and loved in your partnership?  Then if you focus on those wonderful feelings when you think about your life in your ideal relationship, then you will attract the partner that is also seeking those feelings in a relationship.  If your feelings about being in a relationship are bad (mine were for quite some time years ago), then check in with yourself and ask, “What is the limiting belief that is causing me to feel this way?  Am I willing to transmute this into a new belief that serves me now?  What is the new belief that I’m willing to adopt to move forward with the love I truly desire?”

The more you focus on your good feelings about what it is you desire, the quicker it will come to you and the more enjoyable and authentic your results will be.

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In summary, clarify – What? Why? and How?  And get into those good feelings as much as possible! 

I hope this was helpful for you and gives you a good starting point in manifesting your dreams.  When have you manifested something wonderful in your life?  As always, I’d love to read your comments below.

Lots of Love & Good Feelings,

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Romancing with Deliberate Attraction versus Default Attraction

What is deliberate attraction?  The name is a reference to the Abraham-Hicks materials on Law of Attraction where they talk about the Law of Deliberate Creation.  You can watch a brief video with Esther Hicks talking about creating deliberately here.  In short, when we are intending to deliberately attract something into our lives we must first come into the feeling, energy, vibration or alignment of what it is that we truly want by focusing on what we want.

For example, when I was younger I wanted a man to come into my life and love me dearly and want to marry me.  I thought if I waited around long enough it would happen eventually.  The thought alone of my desire was not enough to make it happen. Truthfully, it was so out of alignment with my energy back then for many reasons; the idea of marriage scared me, I was fearful of getting hurt, I didn’t trust someone to be there for me and love me, and my heart was closed to giving and receiving love.  As a result, the relationships I was attracting by default were based in fear and neediness, which was just a reflection of my own energy at that time.  It never ended well needless to say.

This kind of default attraction is what most of us do in life because we weren’t taught to deliberately create our reality as a child.  There’s a lot of media (books, movies, TV, and dating advice columns) that encourages romance by default – like the notion of falling in love by locking eyes across a crowded room.  For the record, I do not recommend choosing anything, especially your life partner, by default attraction.  Default attraction happens when you haven’t thought in advance what you want in a relationship (it’s so important to know that) or what you value and are just “waiting” for the right one to come along, when you’re physically attracted to someone and just go for it, or just accept being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you would like.

And please don’t feel bad if you’ve done this.  I operated this way for most of my life and we are literally encouraged to act this way by popular entertainment.  If you’re feeling bad about it then know that is just your higher self telling you that it’s time to change and attract deliberately!

So in deliberate attraction, we clarify want we want and get into the good feeling space (or energy, vibration, etc.) of what it is we do want – not what we’re afraid of happening.  This can happen quickly or may take more time depending on the amount of negative energy someone has around what they desire.  What is the result of deliberately attracting our soul mate instead of mating by default?

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From my own personal experience I can honestly tell you that when I took deliberate charge of my love life, these were the results:

I had clarity and KNEW the type of man I would end up with in advance

It took the mystery and guessing games out of dating

I felt in charge and confident going on dates

I never felt pressured to have sex

I didn’t play into or focus on the undesirable behavior of anyone around me

I could be honest about what I wanted with others

I didn’t waste time with men that weren’t in alignment with me

The men I did meet, whether there was interest or not, respected me and were very nice

After only seven weeks of dating online with deliberate intent, I met the love of my life

Dating him felt good and was joyful

He is exactly the kind of man I deliberately wanted to draw into my life

Though we aren’t perfect people :), our marriage feels great and wonderful every day

Living deliberately in this way is a choice we can make every day with decisions big and small, beginning with our thoughts and intentions.  As strong women in this day and age it’s more important than ever to choose our love based on good feelings and that’s in alignment with our highest self, or God or Spirit.  Our partner must support the best woman we are capable of being.  Looking back I can’t believe I ever accepted less than that and I hope no woman feels she has to settle for less again.

black-87853_1920 In my next post I’ll give you three ways that you can begin deliberately attracting the love you want now!

For now I’d love your comments – Which goals or achievements in your life do you feel you created deliberately?  How do you feel when you think of those things?

With my heart full of love,

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