Tag Archives: attracting

Attracting the Same Type of Guy Over and Over? Here’s How To Take Charge and Change It

“I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.” ~ Wayne Dyer

If you’ve been dating for a while and/or have had multiple relationships you may have noticed a similarity or two (or more) amongst the men you are attracting into your love life.  It can be frustrating to say the least because at the beginning it may seem like this guy is totally and completely different than the last but as time goes on the same characteristics, and possibly the same annoyances, start to pop up.

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I can relate. This was happening with me until one day I had enough and decided to get off that seemingly endless wheel of disappointment.  I took a sabbatical from dating to figure out why I was attracting and was attracted to such similar men, and how to attract someone I could really build my life with.

There were three fundamental truths about attraction and the Law of Attraction that I came to know during this time that I hope can shed some light on this for you:

1)    You are not a victim to whom you attract into your life.  Attraction is a two way street – if you are attracting someone, it means you are also attracted to him.  It is your attraction for each other that brings you together.

2)    It’s essential that you bring your awareness to what you want to attract instead.  If you are obsessing about the way things have been or could have been then energetically you’re still holding that in your life.

3)    Like the Wayne Dyer quote above – your energy, vibration, beliefs, and being matches that of whom you’re attracting.  Yep, it’s hard to admit or fathom, but it’s true.  You are attracting the people into the life you do because of your own vibration.  Now, this isn’t so you can blame yourself or anybody else as we all are doing the same thing all the time.  But it’s a wonderful opportunity to become aware, learn and grow.

So now what do you do?  Here’s what I did with much success and you can, too, to change this pattern:

1)    Acknowledge how you were benefiting from attracting those guys into your life and acknowledge that you no longer need that benefit and that you are willing to change your self.  Awareness is the first step to breaking a pattern.

2)    Ask yourself, “What do I want instead?”  Write down all of the qualities, values and traits that you would like to have in a partner instead.  Also, write down the qualities, values and traits that you would like in your ideal relationship.  If you can’t help but think of an icky trait of an ex, then just write down what the opposite of that trait is.  Do this until you have a clear picture of the type of person you intend to attract from now on.

3)    Grow your Self, “change” what you Are.  Yes, be your Self but until you are a match for the type of person you really want in your life, you will keep attracting what you attracted before.  With deliberate attraction this is more about revealing your authentic Self rather than simply changing or acting differently.  A couple of questions to get your started – ask yourself, “What kind of woman do I need to be to attract and be in a relationship with this type of man?” and, “What do I need to believe in order to attract and be with this type of man?”  Your answers will give you a lot of direction for where you want to be and need to be before you enter in to your next relationship.

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This can be a painfully truthful yet very liberating process to go through.  However, if you really want to deliberately attract your ideal partner it is essential to take these steps before beginning the dating process again to avoid getting into the same relationship with the same type of guy.  When your energy has changed to match the person and relationship you truly desire you cannot help but attract the right man to you!

I hope you find this inspiring and helpful.  I’d love to read your comments, so please leave them below!  And if you enjoyed this article and resonate with the message please share with the social media buttons below.

Love & Light,

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How Dating Games and Rules Are Blocking Your Potential For Soul Mate Love

Last week I heard a money mindset tip from a coach that went, “It’s easier to make lots of money than it is to make a little money.”  At first it sounds backwards and whether you believe that or not is okay, but as soon as I heard that it resonated as completely true for me.  Why?  Because it’s exactly the same concept (after all everything is energy) that I coach my clients on about love.

Attracting and being in your ideal relationship is so much easier than being in default one.

This truth is why I’m so inspired to help women attract the love they always wanted because it’s so EASY and feels GREAT.  No more banging your head against the wall wondering if he’s serious about you or if he’s going to decide to commit.  No biting your lip in fear that if you express your feelings to him he will run off.

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Actually, your soul mate feels the same way about you as you do about him and the whole process just flows and it can flow rather quickly if that’s what you desire.

The other night I was skimming through some dating advice articles from major magazines and online newspapers; I was horrified that what’s promoted as the popular, mainstream belief is that dating and relationships are a struggle and sacrifice.  That a woman shouldn’t express how she’s feeling too soon even if she is physically intimate with her man (HUH?), that she shouldn’t complain (holding in her feelings will passively come out in complaints, btw), and that she should just focus on having fun (somewhat agree depending on what fun means).

Well, would that feel good to you in a relationship?  Does being anything other than being your Self and expressing your feelings of love feel like a good relationship to you?  Does not getting the love and commitment you desire sound like it would be fun after a while?

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If you are so done with dating (like I was when I attracted my husband) and are ready to attract your soul mate then there is something you need to know:

Behaviors, games, tactics, and “rules” that have you being anything other than your Self will attract the wrong man to you.  Period. 

Authentic, honest expression of who you are as a woman and knowing what’s important to you in your life and in your relationship will attract the right man to you. 

So this brings us to why soul mate love is so easy; because you get to totally be your self and be up front about what you’re looking for.  What a relief!  Anyone who doesn’t match that won’t be a time and energy drain.  And when you deliberately attract your partner it will be because he wants the very same things you do and he’s just as ready as you are for love.  You will know sooner that you are right for each other and should marriage be on your minds, that will happen sooner, too, as it did for myself and other couples I know.

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So when you read any dating advice, including this, please check in with your self.  Does it feel true and good to you?

“Learn to guide your thoughts in the direction of things that feel good, and discover the power that only comes from vibrational alignment with Source.” ~ Abraham–Hicks

If you enjoyed this article and you resonate with the message, please share with the buttons below or comment.  Let’s spread the word about authentic and loving relationships!

Lovingly & Truthfully Yours,

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