Tag Archives: blocks

Six Hidden Forms of Resistance to Love and More on Allowing

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”- Rumi

Have you desired to have love in your life for a long time without seeing any evidence of it?  In the prior post I talk about what you can focus on doing now while trusting and allowing it to happen.  But there’s another aspect to this dilemma – the unconscious and/or subconscious resistance, or blocks, or barriers to love.

With deliberate attraction before you focus on manifesting your soul mate, it’s important to become aware of and release these blocks to love.  If we manifest a mate from a place of this resistance then the mate will likely have as much of this resistance, even if it shows in different ways.

I experienced this when I was dating.  I didn’t get why I kept attracting men that were emotionally unavailable and didn’t want to commit.  When I realized that those same qualities were in me, I stopped dating for a while to find and release my resistance.

There was something interesting I observed around that time: that men and women that really desired to have a girlfriend or boyfriend got one, those that wanted to get married got married, those that wanted to play the field did just that.  The same was true for people that wanted to become lawyers, start a business, make 6 figures, or whatever.  It seemed to me that when all resistance was dropped and someone really desired something enough, it happened.  And quickly.  Hmmm, I thought that was interesting.

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So I concluded that the desire, wish, or intention is the seed that you plant but then one must cease blocking it from happening with any unconscious or subconscious resistance.  Then take actions from that completely open, non-resistant space.

So, here are some hidden forms of resistance that can block you from the love you really want:

– Clinging to old ways of thinking about dating and love that don’t work for you anymore.

– Relying on and insisting that “chemistry” must be present first before getting to know someone.

– Waiting for someone to love you, trust you, value you, commit to you without giving your self those things first.

– Saying you want something now other than what you want long term.

– Grasping tightly on to an impossible, or any, fantasy about love.

– Habitually doing distracting and/or addictive things that block the feeling of love. (i.e., substance abuse, over-working, flirting mindlessly, or many other things prevalent in our society – you name it.)

At some point I had all of the above barriers to love and just classified them as normal and acceptable, which is why I call them “hidden.”  It was only when I was willing to, like Rumi says, seek and find all the barriers I had built against love and completely drop them that love came in to my life within months.

Do you have any of these or other hidden forms of resistance or barriers to love?  Are you willing to change those beliefs into something that resonates with your heart and soul now, or drop it completely?

It’s totally possible with your intention and your desire.  I’ve done it and if I can drop all of those barriers I built up against love then I know you can, too.

Openly and With Love,

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What Do You Mean By “Soul Mate?”

When I started my coaching business and this blog I did realize that the term soul mate might be troubling for some people as it can have so many different connotations – some good and some bad.  The entertainment industry paints a Romeo and Juliet-esque view of soul mates as being something like eyes locking across a room, there’s a spark and wham, that’s it!  There’s the person you’re stuck with until the movie ends or you both die by poisoning.   (That’s not being deliberate about attracting your soul mate, by the way.)

Others don’t believe that there’s one soul mate for each person, but rather that we have many soul mates in different types of relationships that come into our lives to help our souls grow in some way.  So the challenge there is how to know who the ONE is when there are so many potential soul mates.

Or the opposite end of the spectrum is that there aren’t soul mates at all.  Or just believing it’s impossible that there’s one perfect partner out there for us and that we could manage to meet him or her in this lifetime on a planet with over 7 billion souls.

I’m not saying any of those perspectives are invalid nor am I here to tell you what is true, because you decide what’s true – what you believe to be true will be what’s true for you.  But as a woman who is a deliberate creator and became intentional about attracting my soul mate into my life – I can tell you that not only is attracting your soul mate possible but it is your birth right to have the love you truly desire and that reflects the loving soul you are.

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In my program the soul mate I refer to is specifically a romantic partnership that supports your highest self and your deepest desires for spiritual growth and expansion in this lifetime.  It’s a partnership based on deep commitment, equality, interdependence, honesty, truthfulness, spiritual oneness, and unconditional love.  Soul mates are by no means perfect people, but are growing together.  Your soul mate is the person your heart, when unblocked by limiting beliefs and negative patterns, truly desires to be with.  A soul mate relationship adds to your life force (chi or prana), giving you more energy to be, do and have what you came here for. 

You see, it actually becomes very easy to attract your soul mate when you are expressing your true self in love and living from that highest place your heart – and I’m proof!  (In a future post I’ll tell you the story about how I met my husband, no doubt we were divinely guided.)

My program and coaching is all about guiding you into alignment with your highest and best self and knowing love from that place.  When you reside in that higher vibration of love your partner, the right partner for you, will be drawn to you.  Just like Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

For a free 30-minute clarity session to start your deliberate attraction process, email me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.  Clarity alone can do wonders!

What do you think about the whole soul mate thing? 

Wishing you lots of joy in your journey while deliberate creating the life of your dreams!

Love,

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Does the Idea of Love Feel Repellent To You?

For years when friends and family would ask about my love life I would cringe.  It always went something along the lines of, “You’re very attractive, why don’t you have a boyfriend?” or even, “You aren’t married YET?”  Yeah.  That was fun to hear.   The truth was that in my heart I really did want those things but something about the suggestion of a serious commitment just seemed repellant to me – and I continued to be repellant to serious commitment.

It wasn’t until I went inward and took my own journey to soul love that I realized I had a number of limiting beliefs about love that, in my mind, seemed to really, really be true but that were completely blocking me from being open to love.  How could I find the love I truly wanted while also maintaining negative beliefs about it?

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In time I discovered that the answer was not in trying to get rid of the beliefs but in changing them, or rather, RE-FRAMING them.  I was perfectly okay the way that I was.   Those beliefs that I took on as a young one were for my best good at the time, but it was time to transmute those beliefs into something that worked for the strong and loving adult I had become.  Actually once I got the hang of re-framing beliefs it was fun and very powerful in different areas of my life.

Here’s an example of how to re-frame a negative belief using a process similar to the Abraham-Hicks’ Law of Attraction method of Which Thought Feels Better:

Negative belief to change: Married people are unhappy.

Belief I would like to believe instead:  That I can be very happily married.

Starting from the original belief, reach for a phrase or thought that you totally believe right now in your body and soul that is closer to your end goal that the first belief, even if it’s just a tiny bit better.  The process can look something like this:

Married people are unhappy –> I know I have the power to change my thoughts –> I’ve had negative beliefs about certain things in the past that I now feel better about –> Some people do claim to be happy in their marriage –> I remember Mr. & Mrs. Johnson down the street when I was a kid, they seemed pretty happy –> Actually, I know a guy that talks about how much he loves his wife all the time –> There’s probably some more guys like him out there that are looking for a woman to love like that –> I’m glad that I’m still single so I can look forward to meeting such a guy!

See how it works?  This progression can be as quick as a few minutes or if the belief is really ingrained then it may take weeks or months of continually reaching for better beliefs.  Two things to keep in mind in order for this process to be effective, 1) the thoughts you reach for must truly be believable for you and, 2) the thoughts should be feeling better and better to you – your feelings are your guide and you want good ones!

I hope this process is helpful for you, please feel free to share your experience with me about using it.  What, if any, limiting beliefs are you willing to change to have the love you want?  As always, I’d love to read your comments below!

Tons of Love,

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