Tag Archives: Consciousness

How to Make Your Big WHY Attract Your Ideal Relationship and Serve Your Higher Purpose

Let’s be real.  You don’t need a man.  You don’t need to be married or in a relationship.  If there’s anything I hope you’ve gotten from my blog is that you are a whole, complete, and fulfilled woman just as you are.  The reality is that you don’t need anything other than being who you are and just showing up to your life every day.  In light of that you might be wondering why I joined the ranks of the married and am coaching women that want to do the same…

Because deliberate attraction is so much more than just attracting a partner.  Deliberate attraction acknowledges that as women in this time of evolving world consciousness our life’s mission, whether in a relationship or not, means having so much more impact on the world than it did thirty, fifty, or a hundred or more years ago.

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Last week I swore that I would not be another woman to quote this Dalai Lama statement but what the heck…

“The world will be saved by the western woman.”

This statement has set forth into motion thousands upon thousands of women (all over the world) coming forward in their relationships, businesses, and lives in a way that is bringing higher consciousness into everything we do individually and collectively.  What does that have to do with finding your soul mate?

One of the biggest impacts we women can have on the world begins with us, being our divine selves, in our homes, creating and nurturing partnerships and families based on spiritual and uplifting love; this divine love spreads from our families to our neighbors, our schools, our businesses, our governments and across the entire planet.  When this kind of love becomes the norm, or hits the tipping point, then all will truly be living peacefully and abundantly on this planet as we are meant to.

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As a woman, no, you do not need a man.  A man does not need a woman either.  In this day and age we are quite independent of each other and can survive wonderfully with out a partner.  I’ve been aware of this for years and actually used to get really embarrassed when people tried to set me up with someone or suggest I date or get married – at least for the reasons I figured they thought I should based on social expectation and need.  I always had a “big picture” outlook and thought there were bigger and more important things to do in the world; dating and relationships honestly didn’t seem that crucial to me.

It wasn’t until I was about 35 that I came into alignment with my big WHY – why I wanted to be in partnership with my soul mate and why it means so much to me for my soul’s purpose here.  Because that WHY was so meaningful to me, it inspired me to attract my partner and set the stage for the amazing, inspiring marriage I’m in now.

As intended when I first put forth why I wanted to marry my soul mate my marriage has helped me to grow in my capacity to love in ways where I was previously limited.  My partnership has also given me the support and space to further my purpose, or one of my purposes, here in this lifetime – helping the world to love more while loving myself more.  Also my spiritual practice has deepened and I’m enjoying life more fully than I had before by allowing my love to expand beyond myself.

Now that may not have anything to do with why you’re looking for a soul mate relationship.  But my point is that our desire for a relationship at this point in evolution has to be so much more than just having companionship, having children, and having reliable physical affection.  There is a new paradigm being called forth in love and your vision of an ideal relationship is leading the way to making the Dalai Lama’s statement about women saving the world a reality.

So then, what is your big WHY? 

Why are you being called forth now to have the partnership you’ve always wanted? 

What is the big picture reason for attracting and being with your soul mate? 

In what ways will you expand with the support of your soul mate?

What will your life be like in your ideal partnership?

How is your ideal partnership in alignment with your purpose here on the planet?

Your answers to these questions are the new, emerging paradigm for love and relationships.  And your vision of your partnership with your soul mate is changing the world for good.

Enjoy the journey but always be true to yourself and your big WHY.

Love and Peace,

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How the Couples You See in Entertainment Affect the Relationship You Attract

A few weeks ago a friend mentioned to me that when she was a child watching the Flintstones, for some reason, made her sad.  At first, I thought, that’s strange.  Then she explained it’s because it always felt really intense to her, like everyone was mad at each other all of the time.  Then I remembered that the Flintstones was the children’s equivalent to The Honeymooners.  You know the – “One of these days, POW right in the kisser!” – Honeymooners.  It makes perfect sense why the Flintstones would be sad for a child to see, and the Honeymooners sad for adults to see.

Over the years there have been countless sitcoms, films and even cartoons (!!) depicting couples as constantly bickering, complaining about and fighting with each other.  Over the decades the fighting has evolved from threats of physical violence, to hysteric yelling, to nasty insults, and to now what seems to be childish rants against each other.  I rarely watch television anymore but recently I watched a comedy show about a married couple only because a friend of mine was guest starring on it, unfortunately not until the very end.  It was the last time I would watch it because the main stars (who I like as performers) were constantly hurling mean insults back and forth like 3rd graders (really mean ones that is) at a playground…for the duration.  Somehow this is supposed to be funny.

As a kid that watched a lot of television growing up, I actually believed this to be the norm – which reminds me of Norm on Cheers, another man always displeased with his wife.  These fictional characters were a big part of my energetic influence and I unknowingly took on the belief that men and women cannot be happy in marriage, or together at all.  I took on the belief that men and women that cared about each other showed it by fighting with each other and insulting each other.  Those beliefs resulted in my early relationships centering on verbal abuse and fighting.

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Of course we can say that it’s just TV or a movie, it isn’t real, but doesn’t our mainstream entertainment “normalize” what we see?  Everything is energy, so if we aren’t conscious can’t we easily take on the energy of our favorite entertainment?  Similarly to what I mentioned in the posts about male and female characters, the character of the “couple” in media has gotten further and further away from the soul mate relationship that I, and I assume you if you’re reading this, want to be in.

So what can you do?  Ask yourself what do you really want your relationship to be like?  Not what you think you can or cannot have based on what you see, but what do you really want?  Write it down.  Talk it out with a friend.  If you’re a creative type, write a story or a script on it. 

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What else is helpful to raise your energy to that of the relationship you desire?  Change the channel.  Shut off the TV.  Seek out media with couples that are like the soul mate relationship you want to have (recently I enjoyed Date Night and Up).  Support those that are making the kind of entertainment that is positively feeding your soul and your partnership. 

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There is a new paradigm for our partnerships that is coming forward now to be the norm.  It isn’t that of our parents and grandparents who largely depended on each other in marriage.  New partnerships are based on mutual respect, support, interdependence and love.  Our partnership supports our spiritual growth individually and as a couple.  I’ll even be so bold as to say this partnership supports the evolution of the collective consciousness and the entire planet. 

The sooner that kind of partnership can be reflected in our entertainment, the sooner it can be reflected in partnerships across the globe.

What is your favorite couple in entertainment?  I’m always on the look out for positive and uplifting shows to watch, so please let me know.

With Love,

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Six Hidden Forms of Resistance to Love and More on Allowing

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”- Rumi

Have you desired to have love in your life for a long time without seeing any evidence of it?  In the prior post I talk about what you can focus on doing now while trusting and allowing it to happen.  But there’s another aspect to this dilemma – the unconscious and/or subconscious resistance, or blocks, or barriers to love.

With deliberate attraction before you focus on manifesting your soul mate, it’s important to become aware of and release these blocks to love.  If we manifest a mate from a place of this resistance then the mate will likely have as much of this resistance, even if it shows in different ways.

I experienced this when I was dating.  I didn’t get why I kept attracting men that were emotionally unavailable and didn’t want to commit.  When I realized that those same qualities were in me, I stopped dating for a while to find and release my resistance.

There was something interesting I observed around that time: that men and women that really desired to have a girlfriend or boyfriend got one, those that wanted to get married got married, those that wanted to play the field did just that.  The same was true for people that wanted to become lawyers, start a business, make 6 figures, or whatever.  It seemed to me that when all resistance was dropped and someone really desired something enough, it happened.  And quickly.  Hmmm, I thought that was interesting.

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So I concluded that the desire, wish, or intention is the seed that you plant but then one must cease blocking it from happening with any unconscious or subconscious resistance.  Then take actions from that completely open, non-resistant space.

So, here are some hidden forms of resistance that can block you from the love you really want:

– Clinging to old ways of thinking about dating and love that don’t work for you anymore.

– Relying on and insisting that “chemistry” must be present first before getting to know someone.

– Waiting for someone to love you, trust you, value you, commit to you without giving your self those things first.

– Saying you want something now other than what you want long term.

– Grasping tightly on to an impossible, or any, fantasy about love.

– Habitually doing distracting and/or addictive things that block the feeling of love. (i.e., substance abuse, over-working, flirting mindlessly, or many other things prevalent in our society – you name it.)

At some point I had all of the above barriers to love and just classified them as normal and acceptable, which is why I call them “hidden.”  It was only when I was willing to, like Rumi says, seek and find all the barriers I had built against love and completely drop them that love came in to my life within months.

Do you have any of these or other hidden forms of resistance or barriers to love?  Are you willing to change those beliefs into something that resonates with your heart and soul now, or drop it completely?

It’s totally possible with your intention and your desire.  I’ve done it and if I can drop all of those barriers I built up against love then I know you can, too.

Openly and With Love,

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Negative Beliefs From Past Relationships and What To Do About It

Staying in past negative relationship stories and holding them as true can be one of the biggest stumbling blocks to attracting the love your soul truly desires now.  By holding firm to a past situation that was in a lower vibration, whether consciously or not, you’re actually are still attracting the energy and vibration of your old relationship.  So how do you get out of that old energy?

In an earlier post I talked about how important it is to re-write your story.  Like an author, just create in writing the story that you want now in your life.  It doesn’t mean that it has to be perfect or that you have to feel perfect about it yet, what’s important is that the intention is there.  The intention that your next relationship will not be like your past ones and will be exactly as you want it.  And that you’re willing to move on and accept the help you need to get you there.  Intention and willingness are powerful.

Do you ever find that when you have felt bad about something that it can actually inspire you to make a change to have something even better and more in alignment with who you really are?  Is there any situation in your life where you made a change like that, for example a job change?  Well, I have.  And I use those negative feelings of disappointment, rejection, or whatever it is to fuel what it is that I truly want.

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So in deliberate attraction I don’t encourage you to just get over or “let go” of those feelings about the past.  If you are able to do that like soon and fairly easily without any kind of lobotomy then awesome!  Do it.  But for most of us we know the past is done and it might take lifetimes to completely “let go” of something really painful.  Therefore, when deliberately attracting the love your soul desires it’s much more beneficial to transmute the negative energy, beliefs and feelings into energy, beliefs and feelings that serve you now.

What does that mean?  It can mean many things – changing your perspective about what happened, seeing another point of view, re-framing a negative belief, re-framing agreements you made to others or yourself, healing your own wounds and filling your own voids to name just a few ways.  You transmute energy any time you feel a shift or change in YOU.  Have you ever made a shift in your diet or health or stopped an addiction?  That’s what I mean by transmuting your energy.  You changed and there’s no going back.  Transmutation is where YOUR power lies because it begins and ends with you.

There are tons of methods you can use to assist you in transmuting energy and making shifts which might include but are not limited to coaching, counseling, therapy, support groups, inspirational books, journaling, meditation, prayer, healing modalities, singing, chanting, yoga, dancing and anything else you can think of that you feel feeds your soul.  The choice is yours.

Here are a couple of powerful questions to get you started.  It can be challenging to take a look at but one way to begin changing your perspective about a negative past relationship is to honestly ask yourself these questions.  You don’t have to have answers right away.  Just ask, either in writing or in prayer, and let guidance come to you naturally any time later.

What was I getting out of that situation? 

What part did I play in allowing that to happen? 

What did I learn from it? 

What will I do differently next time? 

“View other people’s actions as mirrors.  Discover what their behaviors are telling you about yourself…Change your relationships by changing yourself.”  From Sanaya Roman’s Soul Love

This isn’t about blaming or getting down on your self.  This is about taking ownership for the energy you’re putting out into the Universe in prior relationships and presently and consciously changing it.  And only you can do that.

This doesn’t mean it has to all happen overnight or that you have to do it alone.  I cannot recommend enough the power of finding support of some sort, either from a trusted friend or from a professional because an outside perspective can get you out of your own mind.

Be easy on yourself.  It’s totally okay to be feeling what you’re feeling.  Even if it’s negative right now it’s fueling your desire for change, for something positive in your life, and for the relationship of your dreams.  Then bring yourself back to what you want.  Always.  Gently remind yourself to go back to what you want.  Like training a muscle, you’ll find that it gets easier and you get stronger.

If you have any comments or questions about this that you’d like me to address in future blog posts please ask me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.  My desire is that this gives you some food for thought and gets you on track to manifesting the love you want.

With Love & Joy,

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