Tag Archives: feelings

More on Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Seem to Work – To Love or To Avoid Pain

Have you experienced really wanting something, using what you think is the law of attraction (thinking about what you want) and then getting what seems to be the opposite?

When we diligently think we apply the law of attraction to our love lives and don’t get the relationship we want an easy response might be to blame the logic behind it saying things like, “That’s just woo woo, it’s not science” or, “Some people are just lucky” or, “It’s just not meant to be for me.”

Let me tell you, the quantum physicists know the science behind it – along with studies to back it up, it isn’t luck unless you believe you make your own, and your highest desires are absolutely meant for you to have.  The law of attraction is always working in the same way that the law of gravity is always working.  So why wouldn’t you still have the relationship of your dreams if you’re constantly thinking about the love that you want?

One reason, as stated in my earlier post on this topic, is that even though you might be thinking about wanting one thing it might not actually feel good to you due to limiting beliefs.  Your feelings, or vibration, are actually what’s doing the attracting (your thoughts can only contribute to the feelings).  You must get your good feelings aligned with the relationship you desire.

love-107227 Another reason, and the whole point of this article, is that your reasons – your big WHY – you want to be with the love of your life might be causing you to feel bad unknowingly.  If you enter a relationship to avoid some kind of pain (like being alone), you are only affirming the pain (the loneliness that you feel).   It’s all about feelings.  Do you want a relationship for reasons that feel good or reasons that feel bad to you?

Some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm negative feelings:

–       To avoid being alone. (Affirms and attracts more loneliness.)

–       To avoid the pain of a recent loss. (Affirms and attracts the pain of the loss.)

–       To be validated in any way by this person.  (Affirms and attracts that you are not enough and need validation.)

–       To get satisfied or gratified.  (Affirms and attracts dissatisfaction.)

In my younger days I unknowingly entered relationships for all of these reasons, and almost as quickly exited the relationship feeling worse.  So I finally took some time alone to bring my feelings and vibration up to speed with the love I truly desired for marriage before dating again.

Do you see how going into dating or a relationship while holding on to the vibration of what you don’t want actually attracts more of this to you?  This is why when I work with clients we get the vibration and good feelings up to match the relationship she desires first before we work on magnetizing her soul mate.

Now some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm delicious, good feelings:

–       To expand my capacity to love another and myself.  (Affirms and attracts love.)

–       To learn to receive love and care from another.  (Affirms and attracts love and caring.)

–       To have children and expand our family.  (Affirms and attracts love, expansion, and abundance.)

–       To grow spiritually.  (Affirms and attracts spiritual growth.)

–       To support each other on our soul’s journey.  (Affirms and attracts support.)

Do you see how these reasons affirm the positive and what you want to have with your partner?  Coming from this perspective now the law of attraction can actually bring you what it is you want in a love relationship because you are affirming and building on those wonderful good feelings and good vibrations that you really want.

My challenge to you is to ask yourself – why do I want to meet the love of my life now?  Find as many good feeling reasons as you can as to why this would mean so much to you in your life now.

The great news is that the law of attraction is always working and your good feelings are your guide to consciously bringing in what you desire.

With Love and Joy,

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Your Mind Obsessing About What You Don’t Want In Love? Three Ways to Turn it Around

You find that you have a very large organ called a brain.  It thinks.  It thinks a lot.  And if you’re a very intelligent person it thinks a whole lot.  And if you’re a very intelligent woman it probably thinks about a whole lot of different things at the same time.  There was a joke going around Facebook about that – something to effect of, “Imagine having your browser with 3,467 tabs open all at once.  That’s what it’s like to be in a woman’s head.” 

I thought that was funny because I can so totally relate.  And I wouldn’t really want to change much; I love my creativity and analytical mind.  But with some, or a lot of, practice I’ve trained myself to rein in my obsessive mind when I need to.

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You see our wonderfully creative and multi-tasking minds are great for some things but when our thoughts turn into feelings about our love life that bog us down then we begin attracting exactly what we don’t want into our lives.  Our predominating feelings and energy matches exactly what we’re attracting in.  So it’s very beneficial to have tools for noticing when you’re thinking and vibrating where you don’t want to be, to rein it in, and to go back to what you want.

Here are a few techniques for anyone wanting to take charge of their life in spite of what your habitual mind is telling you –

–       Begin a silent meditation practice.  This can start out just 5 minutes a day and go up to as long as you have time for.  Begin by concentrating on one thing – your breathing, a word or short phrase (a mantra), or your spiritual center between your eyebrows.  If your mind wanders, just simply bring it back to your point of focus.  This will help you to become more present and aware when your mind is going somewhere not productive for you.

–       If you find that you’re having a conversation with yourself (and I do, often) that is unpleasant, turn it into a conversation of gratitude.  Thank the Universe or God or Source for all the good things that have come your way.

–       Get those thoughts out in a productive way – call a friend, write it in a journal, talk to a coach or counselor.  The other person is only to listen to you.  I find that the thoughts are way more interesting and elaborate and scary in my head but after I voice them they lose their power and drama.  They lose their realness.

Implementing one or all three of these techniques can really change your relationship to how much power your habitual thinking has over your life.  And then from there you can bring your thoughts and feelings back to the vibration of where you want your life and relationships to be instead.

Do you have any other tips, tricks or tools that work well for you?  I’d love to know, please share.

Have a joyous and peaceful weekend!

Lots of Love,

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Negative Beliefs From Past Relationships and What To Do About It

Staying in past negative relationship stories and holding them as true can be one of the biggest stumbling blocks to attracting the love your soul truly desires now.  By holding firm to a past situation that was in a lower vibration, whether consciously or not, you’re actually are still attracting the energy and vibration of your old relationship.  So how do you get out of that old energy?

In an earlier post I talked about how important it is to re-write your story.  Like an author, just create in writing the story that you want now in your life.  It doesn’t mean that it has to be perfect or that you have to feel perfect about it yet, what’s important is that the intention is there.  The intention that your next relationship will not be like your past ones and will be exactly as you want it.  And that you’re willing to move on and accept the help you need to get you there.  Intention and willingness are powerful.

Do you ever find that when you have felt bad about something that it can actually inspire you to make a change to have something even better and more in alignment with who you really are?  Is there any situation in your life where you made a change like that, for example a job change?  Well, I have.  And I use those negative feelings of disappointment, rejection, or whatever it is to fuel what it is that I truly want.

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So in deliberate attraction I don’t encourage you to just get over or “let go” of those feelings about the past.  If you are able to do that like soon and fairly easily without any kind of lobotomy then awesome!  Do it.  But for most of us we know the past is done and it might take lifetimes to completely “let go” of something really painful.  Therefore, when deliberately attracting the love your soul desires it’s much more beneficial to transmute the negative energy, beliefs and feelings into energy, beliefs and feelings that serve you now.

What does that mean?  It can mean many things – changing your perspective about what happened, seeing another point of view, re-framing a negative belief, re-framing agreements you made to others or yourself, healing your own wounds and filling your own voids to name just a few ways.  You transmute energy any time you feel a shift or change in YOU.  Have you ever made a shift in your diet or health or stopped an addiction?  That’s what I mean by transmuting your energy.  You changed and there’s no going back.  Transmutation is where YOUR power lies because it begins and ends with you.

There are tons of methods you can use to assist you in transmuting energy and making shifts which might include but are not limited to coaching, counseling, therapy, support groups, inspirational books, journaling, meditation, prayer, healing modalities, singing, chanting, yoga, dancing and anything else you can think of that you feel feeds your soul.  The choice is yours.

Here are a couple of powerful questions to get you started.  It can be challenging to take a look at but one way to begin changing your perspective about a negative past relationship is to honestly ask yourself these questions.  You don’t have to have answers right away.  Just ask, either in writing or in prayer, and let guidance come to you naturally any time later.

What was I getting out of that situation? 

What part did I play in allowing that to happen? 

What did I learn from it? 

What will I do differently next time? 

“View other people’s actions as mirrors.  Discover what their behaviors are telling you about yourself…Change your relationships by changing yourself.”  From Sanaya Roman’s Soul Love

This isn’t about blaming or getting down on your self.  This is about taking ownership for the energy you’re putting out into the Universe in prior relationships and presently and consciously changing it.  And only you can do that.

This doesn’t mean it has to all happen overnight or that you have to do it alone.  I cannot recommend enough the power of finding support of some sort, either from a trusted friend or from a professional because an outside perspective can get you out of your own mind.

Be easy on yourself.  It’s totally okay to be feeling what you’re feeling.  Even if it’s negative right now it’s fueling your desire for change, for something positive in your life, and for the relationship of your dreams.  Then bring yourself back to what you want.  Always.  Gently remind yourself to go back to what you want.  Like training a muscle, you’ll find that it gets easier and you get stronger.

If you have any comments or questions about this that you’d like me to address in future blog posts please ask me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.  My desire is that this gives you some food for thought and gets you on track to manifesting the love you want.

With Love & Joy,

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Questions To Bring You Back To the Love You Want

“What you think about and focus on, you attract to you. When you focus on what you do want you attract it; when you focus on what you do not want, you attract it. It’s that simple.” ~ Eva Gregory

In my last post I talked about how the Law of Attraction won’t bring you what you want if you’re still thinking but mainly still feeling and vibrating in the place you don’t want to be.  Personally, I find this to be an ongoing adventure, shall we say, in my life.  It can be a challenge to switch my focus to what I do want when I first think of something I don’t want.

So here are three questions that have helped me and that can direct you back to thinking and feeling what you want in the area of love, along with some examples where they might be helpful.

1) Example situation – You are currently single and really want to find the meaningful relationship you’ve always wanted.  Question: What is it that I really do want instead of where I’m at now?  I want to be in a relationship with a man who loves me.  I want to have fun and go exciting places with him every weekend.  I want to be myself when I’m around him and know he loves me.

What is it that you really want?

2) Example situation – You find that it’s not hard to date or be in a relationship but past relationships haven’t been as loving as you know you truly desire and you’re tentative about getting into something new for fear it will turn out the same.  Question: Why do I want to be in the totally loving relationship I know I truly deserve now?  I want my partner and I to openly say how much we love each other every day.  I want to be supported and inspired in my life by a loving partner.  I’m ready to grow personally and spiritually in a way that only a partnership can do for me now.

Why do you want it?

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3) Example situation – You know deep down you want to find your partner but based on your past experiences you still feel a lot of anger and fear about the idea of being with someone.  Questions: How do I want to feel instead?  I want to feel excited about meeting my soul mate.  I want to feel totally loved.  I want to feel safe and secure no matter what happens.

How do you want to feel?

These simple questions allow you to openly wonder about what it is you want, and in that place you will start to feel and vibrate more habitually where you want to be.  Just like building muscles, it takes practice reverting to those questions and going back to what you want in order for it to feel more natural.  So be kind to your self in this process but mostly just have fun with it.

Have a joyous time celebrating what you want this week!

Lots of love,

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Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Work Sometimes for Love (or Anything Else)

Actually that title statement isn’t true.  The Law of Attraction always works.  It’s just that sometimes you might get the opposite of what you really thought you wanted.  Or you get the same you’ve always got – seeming like nothing ever happened.  That’s because the Law of Attraction has been misunderstood to be effective with thoughts and dreams alone.

Have you ever asked the Universe to bring you love but then just get either the same type of partner you’ve always attracted or no one at all?   Whether it was with love or something else, many of us have experience this using the Law of Attraction.

Please know that you can’t think your way into making a desire manifest into your life. The Universe doesn’t respond to your thoughts and words (not directly anyway), it responds to your feelings.  True, your thoughts can change your feelings – I’ll tell you how in a bit – but your feelings, or vibration, is what’s doing the attracting.

Therefore, if you’re making a wish, saying a prayer or setting an intent for true love to come into your life but the feelings behind it are – the fear of being alone, needing to get over heartbreak, unworthiness, depression, anxiety or anything else that feels urgent and unpleasant to you – then you will only attract people or situations that match those same feelings.  Attracting a partner from this low vibration isn’t ideal because like attracts like.  It can be like taking a pain killer.  You might feel some immediate relief but the initial cause of dis-ease will present itself in you and your partner.

So how do you manifest, pray and set intentions from a higher vibrating place when the whole idea of wanting something stems from the realization that you don’t currently have it?  There is a way to manifest by acknowledging the negative feelings AND focusing on the good feelings you do want to have instead.

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This a gradual process that I’ve found has worked for me in manifesting my husband and in other areas of my life:

1)    Fully experience the contrast – The negative feelings aren’t wrong or bad.  Allow yourself to experience any pain and take any steps here you need to get help.  Feeling this contrast brings forth “rockets of desire,” as Abraham-Hicks says, and clarity about the love you now intend to have.  If you hadn’t first experienced the contrast, you wouldn’t have clarity.  So, yay for your contrast!

2)    Declare what you WANT (not what you don’t want) – It doesn’t matter whether it’s in prayer, in your journal, to a friend, or on Twitter – declare to the Universe the love you intend to have now.  It commits you to taking this journey in a profound way.

3)    Tap into the positive feelings and essence qualities of your (coming soon) relationship – This is the part that gets skipped over very often.  The contrast provided the motivation, but the positive feelings are what you want to attract.  Ask your self – why do I want to meet my soul mate?  How do I want to feel when I’m with him?  Then practice experiencing those feelings as much as possible.

4)    Notice these feelings and this kind of love in your day-to-day life – Be these feelings.  Be this love.  Just like Gandhi’s, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Be the love you want to have.  Experience it in people, places and things that give you the feelings and essence qualities you want in your ideal relationship.  They are all around you waiting for you to take notice.  (This step was very fun for me to realize how much I was surrounded by such incredibly loving people.)

5)    Imagine your love is already in your life now and enjoy – Be the woman that you want to be with him and trust that he is on his way.  This is the Law of Allowing.  You have complete faith that the Universe is bringing your love to you because at this point he’s such a part of your being.  It was at this point in my own journey that my husband came into my life.

I hope you find using the Law of Attraction in this way to manifest your love and other desires extremely helpful and a whole lot more fun.

Have you used the Law of Attraction successfully to manifest something you wanted?  How did you feel and why did it work so well for you?  I’d love to hear from you!

If you need some guidance getting into that positive feeling place to manifest the love of your life, please contact me for a free 30 minute clarity session at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com!

Have a joyous and love-filled week!

Love,

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You Are So Lovable – Feel It

Last Monday my husband left a sweet note on my windshield while I was teaching a yoga class as he works nearby that site.  I’m not posting this to brag and be all, “Hey everyone, see how amazing my husband is blah blah blah.”  My real point here is to inspire you  – in my youth (which was everything up to 35) I never thought I could have love like this.  Actually I wasn’t even sure it existed.  But in my heart I knew that that kind of love is what I wanted and needed in order to get married to someone.  It had to be out there.

One day I just kind of woke up and realized that instead of focusing on all the evidence of me not being loved, having my heart broken, being disappointed, insulted, made fun of, stood up, etc. that I would instead to choose to focus my thoughts and energies on all the evidence and proof that I was loved and am lovable.  I recalled the times my family and schoolmates were caring and sweet to me.  I recalled when men were trying to express their love to me, but my eyes were closed to it.  I woke up to all the evidence of love in my life NOW.

All it takes is a shift to be in the loving space you want and here are some ways to do that now:

1)    Collect evidence of you loving and being loved in the past, and I don’t mean sexually, I mean words and actions of love.  Think of any family members, friends, peers, co-workers, children, babies and animals (even plants!) that have shown you love.  Love is everywhere.  Honestly, I talk lovingly to my car and she shows me love by doing what she’s supposed to do well and safely.

2)    See the proof of love around you, particularly if you’re looking for your soul mate, in other couples that have the kind of loving relationship you want.  As much as possible only watch media with the kind of love you truly want, as it will reinforce your knowing that you are deserving of that love.  Two of my personal favorites are Wally and the beginning of Up.

3)    Bask in the feelings of that kind of love.  As you become more accustomed to this feeling being the norm, the other stuff that isn’t what you want will just seem to go away at just the right time or it won’t draw your attention as much anymore.  Your feelings are your guide and you’re here on this planet to feel good!

What evidence of love in your past or present are you basking in?  I would love to read all about it in the comments below.

Love, love, love,

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Three Questions to Begin Deliberately Attracting Your Soul Mate

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In the last post I wrote about the difference between the common default attraction versus deliberately attracting your soul mate.  The fun part now is the process of, in Abraham-Hicks words, deliberately creating your ideal partnership.  I say it’s fun because it can be like a game where you allow your imagination to roam free.  Actually the better you feel and more excited you get and the more fun you have about achieving your ideal desire, the quicker the manifestation is likely to occur.  Always keep in mind what Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.”  If you’re having fun and feeling good then that will seek you, too!

Here are three questions and steps to get you started on your journey:

1)    What is it that you really want in an ideal partnership?

Get precisely clear on what you want the nature of the relationship to be (like married or unmarried but living together, children or not), the type of partner you want to be with, and how you see your life together.  I know there’s a popular myth out there that a woman should “just be cool” until she knows how the guy feels about her – but that is the complete opposite of being a deliberate creator.  Waiting for someone to decide what he or she wants with you is not honoring the lovable and powerful person you truly are.  If you apply, “What you seek is seeking you” then being anything other than who YOU are when seeking your ideal love is going to draw inauthentic, unclear or wishy-washy love back to you – and can lead to heartbreak further down the road.  Be clear on what it is you truly want.

2)    Why do you want your ideal partnership?

Knowing why you want something fuels the energy behind your desire.  It also can tell you if what you’re asking for is in your highest interests.  If your reasons for wanting to be with your ideal partner are based in love and feel good – for example, wanting to be with someone because, “I want to express love with someone every day,” then you’ll attract a partner that wants the same good feeling.  If you ask why and your answer is fear-based, for example because, “I don’t want to be alone,” then you’ll also attract a partner that has the same fear based feeling.  “What you seek is seeking you,” so remember that you will attract a partner that wants a relationship for the same reasons (whether you realize it or not).  Also being clear on why you want your ideal relationship will further clarify what it is you want and simplify the process of dating and looking.

3)    How do you want to feel when you are in your ideal partnership?

Now we’re getting down to the important stuff when it comes to being a powerful creator in our lives.  It’s all about feelings.  In our analytical, logical society feelings have been put on the back shelf described as being just “chick stuff,” (actually things typically thought of as masculine like sports and war are just as much about feelings) but if you truly want to receive your heart’s desire – then you must tune in to your feelings about it.  Again, to be a broken Rumi record, “What you seek is seeking you,” and that is completely true when it comes to your feelings.  Do you want to feel good, happy and loved in your partnership?  Then if you focus on those wonderful feelings when you think about your life in your ideal relationship, then you will attract the partner that is also seeking those feelings in a relationship.  If your feelings about being in a relationship are bad (mine were for quite some time years ago), then check in with yourself and ask, “What is the limiting belief that is causing me to feel this way?  Am I willing to transmute this into a new belief that serves me now?  What is the new belief that I’m willing to adopt to move forward with the love I truly desire?”

The more you focus on your good feelings about what it is you desire, the quicker it will come to you and the more enjoyable and authentic your results will be.

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In summary, clarify – What? Why? and How?  And get into those good feelings as much as possible! 

I hope this was helpful for you and gives you a good starting point in manifesting your dreams.  When have you manifested something wonderful in your life?  As always, I’d love to read your comments below.

Lots of Love & Good Feelings,

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