Tag Archives: Intimate relationship

Attracting the Same Type of Guy Over and Over? Here’s How To Take Charge and Change It

“I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.” ~ Wayne Dyer

If you’ve been dating for a while and/or have had multiple relationships you may have noticed a similarity or two (or more) amongst the men you are attracting into your love life.  It can be frustrating to say the least because at the beginning it may seem like this guy is totally and completely different than the last but as time goes on the same characteristics, and possibly the same annoyances, start to pop up.

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I can relate. This was happening with me until one day I had enough and decided to get off that seemingly endless wheel of disappointment.  I took a sabbatical from dating to figure out why I was attracting and was attracted to such similar men, and how to attract someone I could really build my life with.

There were three fundamental truths about attraction and the Law of Attraction that I came to know during this time that I hope can shed some light on this for you:

1)    You are not a victim to whom you attract into your life.  Attraction is a two way street – if you are attracting someone, it means you are also attracted to him.  It is your attraction for each other that brings you together.

2)    It’s essential that you bring your awareness to what you want to attract instead.  If you are obsessing about the way things have been or could have been then energetically you’re still holding that in your life.

3)    Like the Wayne Dyer quote above – your energy, vibration, beliefs, and being matches that of whom you’re attracting.  Yep, it’s hard to admit or fathom, but it’s true.  You are attracting the people into the life you do because of your own vibration.  Now, this isn’t so you can blame yourself or anybody else as we all are doing the same thing all the time.  But it’s a wonderful opportunity to become aware, learn and grow.

So now what do you do?  Here’s what I did with much success and you can, too, to change this pattern:

1)    Acknowledge how you were benefiting from attracting those guys into your life and acknowledge that you no longer need that benefit and that you are willing to change your self.  Awareness is the first step to breaking a pattern.

2)    Ask yourself, “What do I want instead?”  Write down all of the qualities, values and traits that you would like to have in a partner instead.  Also, write down the qualities, values and traits that you would like in your ideal relationship.  If you can’t help but think of an icky trait of an ex, then just write down what the opposite of that trait is.  Do this until you have a clear picture of the type of person you intend to attract from now on.

3)    Grow your Self, “change” what you Are.  Yes, be your Self but until you are a match for the type of person you really want in your life, you will keep attracting what you attracted before.  With deliberate attraction this is more about revealing your authentic Self rather than simply changing or acting differently.  A couple of questions to get your started – ask yourself, “What kind of woman do I need to be to attract and be in a relationship with this type of man?” and, “What do I need to believe in order to attract and be with this type of man?”  Your answers will give you a lot of direction for where you want to be and need to be before you enter in to your next relationship.

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This can be a painfully truthful yet very liberating process to go through.  However, if you really want to deliberately attract your ideal partner it is essential to take these steps before beginning the dating process again to avoid getting into the same relationship with the same type of guy.  When your energy has changed to match the person and relationship you truly desire you cannot help but attract the right man to you!

I hope you find this inspiring and helpful.  I’d love to read your comments, so please leave them below!  And if you enjoyed this article and resonate with the message please share with the social media buttons below.

Love & Light,

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The Catch 22 of Being an Independent Woman

I’m an independent and strong woman and all of my life have admired women and female characters that aren’t afraid to be alone and can take care of themselves.  Those are beautiful qualities for anyone to have and I do believe it’s essential to know how to be alone and happy before attempting to be happy in a relationship with another.

However, after over 33 years of living my strong-willed and independent life, I wondered why I was still alone.  Actually, I didn’t wonder very long because it became blatantly obvious that I had cultivated the idea, energy and feeling of being independent, strong and alone for so long that I didn’t know how to live any other way.

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In all of my years of living, dating and being in relationships (romantic or otherwise) I never learned how to receive from, ask for help from, trust in, and share with another person.  It was something I thought I’d never have to do but in order to be in the relationship of my dreams I knew I had to cultivate to these qualities and feelings – and learn to enjoy them.  If I wanted a partner that had these qualities then I needed to be this way, too.

Does this sound familiar to you?  Can you relate to this?

It took a couple of years of inner work and some discomfort with the change, but now I’m in the marriage of my dreams.  We share a home, a bank account and a name amongst other things.  We constantly give and receive from each other.  We trust each other.  We are open with each other.  And I feel good about it and wouldn’t want it any other way.  I’m able to be in this kind of relationship now because of the work I did with myself before we even met.

If you know what I’m talking about and still long to be in the relationship of your dreams, then begin cultivating your feminine receptive qualities now. 

Practice a breathing meditation on being able to give and receive detailed here.

Notice and appreciate anything that others do for you, even if it’s at first just the person that makes your coffee.

Say thank you.

Ask someone for something (people love being able to help).

Ask the Universe or God for something (Source loves being able to help).

Gladly accept help.

If someone has been upsetting you and you haven’t told him or her, kindly say how you feel and ask for what you need instead.

Become aware of your inherent needs, ask for and expect them to be met.

As you begin to vibrate in this receptive place and bring this into balance with your strong, independent qualities you will become aware of all the love and support you have around you in your life and more ready to receive it.

Both your strong and receptive qualities are amazing and beautiful.  Having both allows a partner to come into your life that has both qualities as well.

Do you need help implementing these qualities to find balance in your life?  I’d be more than happy to give you a free 30-minute clarity coaching session to do just that (really, I’m very happy to do it).  Please contact me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.

With Love,

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