Tag Archives: limiting beliefs

When You Feel You’ve Met Your Soul Mate and He Doesn’t Feel the Same Way

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A reader of this blog and friend emailed me last week to tell me about her heartbreaking situation and asked me what my thoughts were about it.

In the email she detailed that she had a romance with a man that she felt was the one, her soul mate, and it had been going great for a while.  She felt he was in love with her as much as she was with him.  However, he was just coming off of a messy divorce and wasn’t ready for a deeper commitment at that time and they parted ways.  She respected where he was at and gave him space while waiting for him to come back when he was ready.  Long story short, he never did and is now in another relationship and engaged to be married.

As a woman who’s been in a similar situation let me just say first…ouch.  I’m so sorry for the heartbreak you are going through.  Myself and so many women I’ve known over the years have gone through something similar.  Please know your feelings are totally validated here and just allow yourself to feel them whatever they may be.

Regardless of what you’re going through now you won’t need to feel this way for very long.  There is a light at the end of this tunnel if you can allow the situation to be a learning and growth experience on the way to meeting  your real love.

First let me address the concept of Soul Mates.  I mean, what the heck is that anyway?  There are so many definitions and theories on this ranging from you only get one – to – you have tons of them including your first grade teacher.

I don’t really know for sure (to say the least because I’m not a channel, enlightened, and don’t have memories of my soul life before incarnating in this body as a squealing baby) – but what I’ve noticed in my life and my feeling is that we have soul mates in two major categories: 1) The long term life journey growth and expansion kind, and 2) The short term, smack you in the face, wake you up so you get on the right path to what you really should have kind.

So with that in mind…yes, this man could have been your soul mate.  But he was more likely a soul mate that helped you to re-direct your course onto the right path so you can meet your long-term, soul mate partner.  I lovingly think of my own last heartbreak (which I’m so thankful for now) as my “wake up call guy.”  Sounds like this guy was your wake up call guy.

Secondly, and the most important aspect to this I want to address here is the fact that he wasn’t sure about committing to you and you still felt he was the one.  This is not to judge you as I’ve been there, too, but this is an important part of the waking up process…

When all is said and done – as much as you may love someone if he doesn’t feel the same way about you is that good enough for you in your soul mate relationship?  I mean, does that really cut it?  Do you want to wake up every morning next to someone who had to really wait and think about whether he wanted to be with you when you were positively sure about him?  Do you want to affirm to the Universe or God or Source that that is as much as you deserve to be loved?

Yes, you may be head over heels in love with him but nevertheless I sincerely hope you answered NO to those questions.  If not then you have some work to do transmuting your limiting beliefs about your worth in love and relationships.

One of the most important steps to deliberately attracting your soul mate aside from finding the one you love, of course, is to be open and ready to receive love from the one that loves and feels the same way about you.  To love the one that loves you. When you’re attracting deliberately you’re not just attracting any guy that feels you’re his maybe when he’s ready – you’re attracting the one that is ready to drop everything and do anything to be with you and take vows with you at the altar and maybe even make mini versions of the two of you.

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Personally, after my wake up call guy I’ll be damned if I was going to settle for anything less that that.   And I don’t think any other woman should either.  I forget who said this originally but it was something to the effect of, “the Universe doesn’t take anything away from you unless it plans to give you something better.”

So what do you need to do, believe or have to be open and ready to receive that kind of devoted love?  What would it take for you to know you have that kind of love waiting for you just around the corner? 

Two days after I received that email I saw this quote from Jeff Brown of soulshaping.com which describes this perfectly:

“If one person doesn’t want the relationship, then it’s simply not a fit. No sense trying to figure out why we think they don’t want it. No sense blaming it on their commitment issues. No sense waiting around for them to realize they wanted it after all. And if they don’t want it, then we don’t want it, because we don’t want to be with someone who is not there for it fully. That’s the thing about a love relationship- it’s an agreement that has to be signed by both souls. If one doesn’t sign, then nothing has been lost. If it’s not a fit for them, it’s not a fit for us either.” Jeff Brown http://soulshaping.com/

I hope this inspires you to love the one that loves you.  How about you?  Have you had a wake up situation that re-directed you on to the right path or that made you truly realize your worth?  I’d love to read about it, please comment.

If you liked this article please like and share and all that good stuff!

Lots of Love & Light,

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What Do You Mean By “Soul Mate?”

When I started my coaching business and this blog I did realize that the term soul mate might be troubling for some people as it can have so many different connotations – some good and some bad.  The entertainment industry paints a Romeo and Juliet-esque view of soul mates as being something like eyes locking across a room, there’s a spark and wham, that’s it!  There’s the person you’re stuck with until the movie ends or you both die by poisoning.   (That’s not being deliberate about attracting your soul mate, by the way.)

Others don’t believe that there’s one soul mate for each person, but rather that we have many soul mates in different types of relationships that come into our lives to help our souls grow in some way.  So the challenge there is how to know who the ONE is when there are so many potential soul mates.

Or the opposite end of the spectrum is that there aren’t soul mates at all.  Or just believing it’s impossible that there’s one perfect partner out there for us and that we could manage to meet him or her in this lifetime on a planet with over 7 billion souls.

I’m not saying any of those perspectives are invalid nor am I here to tell you what is true, because you decide what’s true – what you believe to be true will be what’s true for you.  But as a woman who is a deliberate creator and became intentional about attracting my soul mate into my life – I can tell you that not only is attracting your soul mate possible but it is your birth right to have the love you truly desire and that reflects the loving soul you are.

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In my program the soul mate I refer to is specifically a romantic partnership that supports your highest self and your deepest desires for spiritual growth and expansion in this lifetime.  It’s a partnership based on deep commitment, equality, interdependence, honesty, truthfulness, spiritual oneness, and unconditional love.  Soul mates are by no means perfect people, but are growing together.  Your soul mate is the person your heart, when unblocked by limiting beliefs and negative patterns, truly desires to be with.  A soul mate relationship adds to your life force (chi or prana), giving you more energy to be, do and have what you came here for. 

You see, it actually becomes very easy to attract your soul mate when you are expressing your true self in love and living from that highest place your heart – and I’m proof!  (In a future post I’ll tell you the story about how I met my husband, no doubt we were divinely guided.)

My program and coaching is all about guiding you into alignment with your highest and best self and knowing love from that place.  When you reside in that higher vibration of love your partner, the right partner for you, will be drawn to you.  Just like Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

For a free 30-minute clarity session to start your deliberate attraction process, email me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.  Clarity alone can do wonders!

What do you think about the whole soul mate thing? 

Wishing you lots of joy in your journey while deliberate creating the life of your dreams!

Love,

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Does the Idea of Love Feel Repellent To You?

For years when friends and family would ask about my love life I would cringe.  It always went something along the lines of, “You’re very attractive, why don’t you have a boyfriend?” or even, “You aren’t married YET?”  Yeah.  That was fun to hear.   The truth was that in my heart I really did want those things but something about the suggestion of a serious commitment just seemed repellant to me – and I continued to be repellant to serious commitment.

It wasn’t until I went inward and took my own journey to soul love that I realized I had a number of limiting beliefs about love that, in my mind, seemed to really, really be true but that were completely blocking me from being open to love.  How could I find the love I truly wanted while also maintaining negative beliefs about it?

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In time I discovered that the answer was not in trying to get rid of the beliefs but in changing them, or rather, RE-FRAMING them.  I was perfectly okay the way that I was.   Those beliefs that I took on as a young one were for my best good at the time, but it was time to transmute those beliefs into something that worked for the strong and loving adult I had become.  Actually once I got the hang of re-framing beliefs it was fun and very powerful in different areas of my life.

Here’s an example of how to re-frame a negative belief using a process similar to the Abraham-Hicks’ Law of Attraction method of Which Thought Feels Better:

Negative belief to change: Married people are unhappy.

Belief I would like to believe instead:  That I can be very happily married.

Starting from the original belief, reach for a phrase or thought that you totally believe right now in your body and soul that is closer to your end goal that the first belief, even if it’s just a tiny bit better.  The process can look something like this:

Married people are unhappy –> I know I have the power to change my thoughts –> I’ve had negative beliefs about certain things in the past that I now feel better about –> Some people do claim to be happy in their marriage –> I remember Mr. & Mrs. Johnson down the street when I was a kid, they seemed pretty happy –> Actually, I know a guy that talks about how much he loves his wife all the time –> There’s probably some more guys like him out there that are looking for a woman to love like that –> I’m glad that I’m still single so I can look forward to meeting such a guy!

See how it works?  This progression can be as quick as a few minutes or if the belief is really ingrained then it may take weeks or months of continually reaching for better beliefs.  Two things to keep in mind in order for this process to be effective, 1) the thoughts you reach for must truly be believable for you and, 2) the thoughts should be feeling better and better to you – your feelings are your guide and you want good ones!

I hope this process is helpful for you, please feel free to share your experience with me about using it.  What, if any, limiting beliefs are you willing to change to have the love you want?  As always, I’d love to read your comments below!

Tons of Love,

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