Tag Archives: loneliness

More on Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Seem to Work – To Love or To Avoid Pain

Have you experienced really wanting something, using what you think is the law of attraction (thinking about what you want) and then getting what seems to be the opposite?

When we diligently think we apply the law of attraction to our love lives and don’t get the relationship we want an easy response might be to blame the logic behind it saying things like, “That’s just woo woo, it’s not science” or, “Some people are just lucky” or, “It’s just not meant to be for me.”

Let me tell you, the quantum physicists know the science behind it – along with studies to back it up, it isn’t luck unless you believe you make your own, and your highest desires are absolutely meant for you to have.  The law of attraction is always working in the same way that the law of gravity is always working.  So why wouldn’t you still have the relationship of your dreams if you’re constantly thinking about the love that you want?

One reason, as stated in my earlier post on this topic, is that even though you might be thinking about wanting one thing it might not actually feel good to you due to limiting beliefs.  Your feelings, or vibration, are actually what’s doing the attracting (your thoughts can only contribute to the feelings).  You must get your good feelings aligned with the relationship you desire.

love-107227 Another reason, and the whole point of this article, is that your reasons – your big WHY – you want to be with the love of your life might be causing you to feel bad unknowingly.  If you enter a relationship to avoid some kind of pain (like being alone), you are only affirming the pain (the loneliness that you feel).   It’s all about feelings.  Do you want a relationship for reasons that feel good or reasons that feel bad to you?

Some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm negative feelings:

–       To avoid being alone. (Affirms and attracts more loneliness.)

–       To avoid the pain of a recent loss. (Affirms and attracts the pain of the loss.)

–       To be validated in any way by this person.  (Affirms and attracts that you are not enough and need validation.)

–       To get satisfied or gratified.  (Affirms and attracts dissatisfaction.)

In my younger days I unknowingly entered relationships for all of these reasons, and almost as quickly exited the relationship feeling worse.  So I finally took some time alone to bring my feelings and vibration up to speed with the love I truly desired for marriage before dating again.

Do you see how going into dating or a relationship while holding on to the vibration of what you don’t want actually attracts more of this to you?  This is why when I work with clients we get the vibration and good feelings up to match the relationship she desires first before we work on magnetizing her soul mate.

Now some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm delicious, good feelings:

–       To expand my capacity to love another and myself.  (Affirms and attracts love.)

–       To learn to receive love and care from another.  (Affirms and attracts love and caring.)

–       To have children and expand our family.  (Affirms and attracts love, expansion, and abundance.)

–       To grow spiritually.  (Affirms and attracts spiritual growth.)

–       To support each other on our soul’s journey.  (Affirms and attracts support.)

Do you see how these reasons affirm the positive and what you want to have with your partner?  Coming from this perspective now the law of attraction can actually bring you what it is you want in a love relationship because you are affirming and building on those wonderful good feelings and good vibrations that you really want.

My challenge to you is to ask yourself – why do I want to meet the love of my life now?  Find as many good feeling reasons as you can as to why this would mean so much to you in your life now.

The great news is that the law of attraction is always working and your good feelings are your guide to consciously bringing in what you desire.

With Love and Joy,


Expand Your Love With This Writing Exercise, I Dare You

There’s debate as to whether it is human nature or simply our conditioning to focus on what’s going wrong instead of what’s going right.  I can’t say I really know.  Either way, sometimes things happen in life that can leave you feeling unloved, sad or lonely – a break up, loss of a job, or any kind of rejection really.  In those moments it’s totally natural and normal to feel the pain of the loss, and I recommend that you allow yourself to feel it fully.

However, once you’ve felt it and acknowledged the feelings honestly then I recommend you gradually bring your vibration back up by beginning to focus on what’s going right.  I say gradually because it can take days, weeks or even months depending on your situation, trust your intuition with how long that should take for you.  I’ve heard and read from experts in the area of grief that the process of grieving for a big loss averages about one year.

After a time of allowing, then it’s time to be deliberate about focusing on where you want to be, not where you’re currently at.  Energetically you want to get in alignment with what you want so it can come to you.


So how do you go from feeling unlovable and lonely to fully loved and abundantly blessed?

A few weeks ago I did this exercise where I wrote about a 3 to 5 month period of time in my childhood where I felt particularly confident, present, in charge of my life, successful and liked by my peers.  It was amazing how just recalling that time brought me back to the feeling of joy and success.  What’s awesome is that the feeling has stayed with me since.

Write your personal history out, kind of like you’re writing a long bio or your life story, and EXPAND on the all the love you’ve received.  Similar to re-writing your relationship story, this is re-visioning your past story.  Actually, it’s more like changing your current perspective because these are all events that happened but you’re only including the love, the success, the joy and the happiness.

Here’s the exercise:

–       Grab a pen and piece of paper or a journal.

–       Begin writing about your life going back as far as you can remember or just a time that was particularly awesome for you.

–       Write about the moments that you remember bringing you joy.  Write about when you loved and were loved.  Write about when you accomplished things and were acknowledged for them.  Write about praise and compliments you received.  Write about times you can remember feeling really good.

–       Leave out anything that doesn’t feel good.

–       When you’ve finished, read it.  Again and again.


How does that feel to you?  If you are even feeling a teensy bit better then it is totally working.  Your good feelings are your guide to joy.  Your thoughts give you feelings.  You choose your thoughts and focus.  So when you can, make it good.

I hope you find this exercise fun and helpful!  Please feel free to comment or contact me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com if you have any questions or successes with this!

With Love,