Tag Archives: Manifesting

More on Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Seem to Work – To Love or To Avoid Pain

Have you experienced really wanting something, using what you think is the law of attraction (thinking about what you want) and then getting what seems to be the opposite?

When we diligently think we apply the law of attraction to our love lives and don’t get the relationship we want an easy response might be to blame the logic behind it saying things like, “That’s just woo woo, it’s not science” or, “Some people are just lucky” or, “It’s just not meant to be for me.”

Let me tell you, the quantum physicists know the science behind it – along with studies to back it up, it isn’t luck unless you believe you make your own, and your highest desires are absolutely meant for you to have.  The law of attraction is always working in the same way that the law of gravity is always working.  So why wouldn’t you still have the relationship of your dreams if you’re constantly thinking about the love that you want?

One reason, as stated in my earlier post on this topic, is that even though you might be thinking about wanting one thing it might not actually feel good to you due to limiting beliefs.  Your feelings, or vibration, are actually what’s doing the attracting (your thoughts can only contribute to the feelings).  You must get your good feelings aligned with the relationship you desire.

love-107227 Another reason, and the whole point of this article, is that your reasons – your big WHY – you want to be with the love of your life might be causing you to feel bad unknowingly.  If you enter a relationship to avoid some kind of pain (like being alone), you are only affirming the pain (the loneliness that you feel).   It’s all about feelings.  Do you want a relationship for reasons that feel good or reasons that feel bad to you?

Some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm negative feelings:

–       To avoid being alone. (Affirms and attracts more loneliness.)

–       To avoid the pain of a recent loss. (Affirms and attracts the pain of the loss.)

–       To be validated in any way by this person.  (Affirms and attracts that you are not enough and need validation.)

–       To get satisfied or gratified.  (Affirms and attracts dissatisfaction.)

In my younger days I unknowingly entered relationships for all of these reasons, and almost as quickly exited the relationship feeling worse.  So I finally took some time alone to bring my feelings and vibration up to speed with the love I truly desired for marriage before dating again.

Do you see how going into dating or a relationship while holding on to the vibration of what you don’t want actually attracts more of this to you?  This is why when I work with clients we get the vibration and good feelings up to match the relationship she desires first before we work on magnetizing her soul mate.

Now some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm delicious, good feelings:

–       To expand my capacity to love another and myself.  (Affirms and attracts love.)

–       To learn to receive love and care from another.  (Affirms and attracts love and caring.)

–       To have children and expand our family.  (Affirms and attracts love, expansion, and abundance.)

–       To grow spiritually.  (Affirms and attracts spiritual growth.)

–       To support each other on our soul’s journey.  (Affirms and attracts support.)

Do you see how these reasons affirm the positive and what you want to have with your partner?  Coming from this perspective now the law of attraction can actually bring you what it is you want in a love relationship because you are affirming and building on those wonderful good feelings and good vibrations that you really want.

My challenge to you is to ask yourself – why do I want to meet the love of my life now?  Find as many good feeling reasons as you can as to why this would mean so much to you in your life now.

The great news is that the law of attraction is always working and your good feelings are your guide to consciously bringing in what you desire.

With Love and Joy,

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Six Hidden Forms of Resistance to Love and More on Allowing

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”- Rumi

Have you desired to have love in your life for a long time without seeing any evidence of it?  In the prior post I talk about what you can focus on doing now while trusting and allowing it to happen.  But there’s another aspect to this dilemma – the unconscious and/or subconscious resistance, or blocks, or barriers to love.

With deliberate attraction before you focus on manifesting your soul mate, it’s important to become aware of and release these blocks to love.  If we manifest a mate from a place of this resistance then the mate will likely have as much of this resistance, even if it shows in different ways.

I experienced this when I was dating.  I didn’t get why I kept attracting men that were emotionally unavailable and didn’t want to commit.  When I realized that those same qualities were in me, I stopped dating for a while to find and release my resistance.

There was something interesting I observed around that time: that men and women that really desired to have a girlfriend or boyfriend got one, those that wanted to get married got married, those that wanted to play the field did just that.  The same was true for people that wanted to become lawyers, start a business, make 6 figures, or whatever.  It seemed to me that when all resistance was dropped and someone really desired something enough, it happened.  And quickly.  Hmmm, I thought that was interesting.

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So I concluded that the desire, wish, or intention is the seed that you plant but then one must cease blocking it from happening with any unconscious or subconscious resistance.  Then take actions from that completely open, non-resistant space.

So, here are some hidden forms of resistance that can block you from the love you really want:

– Clinging to old ways of thinking about dating and love that don’t work for you anymore.

– Relying on and insisting that “chemistry” must be present first before getting to know someone.

– Waiting for someone to love you, trust you, value you, commit to you without giving your self those things first.

– Saying you want something now other than what you want long term.

– Grasping tightly on to an impossible, or any, fantasy about love.

– Habitually doing distracting and/or addictive things that block the feeling of love. (i.e., substance abuse, over-working, flirting mindlessly, or many other things prevalent in our society – you name it.)

At some point I had all of the above barriers to love and just classified them as normal and acceptable, which is why I call them “hidden.”  It was only when I was willing to, like Rumi says, seek and find all the barriers I had built against love and completely drop them that love came in to my life within months.

Do you have any of these or other hidden forms of resistance or barriers to love?  Are you willing to change those beliefs into something that resonates with your heart and soul now, or drop it completely?

It’s totally possible with your intention and your desire.  I’ve done it and if I can drop all of those barriers I built up against love then I know you can, too.

Openly and With Love,

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Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Work Sometimes for Love (or Anything Else)

Actually that title statement isn’t true.  The Law of Attraction always works.  It’s just that sometimes you might get the opposite of what you really thought you wanted.  Or you get the same you’ve always got – seeming like nothing ever happened.  That’s because the Law of Attraction has been misunderstood to be effective with thoughts and dreams alone.

Have you ever asked the Universe to bring you love but then just get either the same type of partner you’ve always attracted or no one at all?   Whether it was with love or something else, many of us have experience this using the Law of Attraction.

Please know that you can’t think your way into making a desire manifest into your life. The Universe doesn’t respond to your thoughts and words (not directly anyway), it responds to your feelings.  True, your thoughts can change your feelings – I’ll tell you how in a bit – but your feelings, or vibration, is what’s doing the attracting.

Therefore, if you’re making a wish, saying a prayer or setting an intent for true love to come into your life but the feelings behind it are – the fear of being alone, needing to get over heartbreak, unworthiness, depression, anxiety or anything else that feels urgent and unpleasant to you – then you will only attract people or situations that match those same feelings.  Attracting a partner from this low vibration isn’t ideal because like attracts like.  It can be like taking a pain killer.  You might feel some immediate relief but the initial cause of dis-ease will present itself in you and your partner.

So how do you manifest, pray and set intentions from a higher vibrating place when the whole idea of wanting something stems from the realization that you don’t currently have it?  There is a way to manifest by acknowledging the negative feelings AND focusing on the good feelings you do want to have instead.

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This a gradual process that I’ve found has worked for me in manifesting my husband and in other areas of my life:

1)    Fully experience the contrast – The negative feelings aren’t wrong or bad.  Allow yourself to experience any pain and take any steps here you need to get help.  Feeling this contrast brings forth “rockets of desire,” as Abraham-Hicks says, and clarity about the love you now intend to have.  If you hadn’t first experienced the contrast, you wouldn’t have clarity.  So, yay for your contrast!

2)    Declare what you WANT (not what you don’t want) – It doesn’t matter whether it’s in prayer, in your journal, to a friend, or on Twitter – declare to the Universe the love you intend to have now.  It commits you to taking this journey in a profound way.

3)    Tap into the positive feelings and essence qualities of your (coming soon) relationship – This is the part that gets skipped over very often.  The contrast provided the motivation, but the positive feelings are what you want to attract.  Ask your self – why do I want to meet my soul mate?  How do I want to feel when I’m with him?  Then practice experiencing those feelings as much as possible.

4)    Notice these feelings and this kind of love in your day-to-day life – Be these feelings.  Be this love.  Just like Gandhi’s, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Be the love you want to have.  Experience it in people, places and things that give you the feelings and essence qualities you want in your ideal relationship.  They are all around you waiting for you to take notice.  (This step was very fun for me to realize how much I was surrounded by such incredibly loving people.)

5)    Imagine your love is already in your life now and enjoy – Be the woman that you want to be with him and trust that he is on his way.  This is the Law of Allowing.  You have complete faith that the Universe is bringing your love to you because at this point he’s such a part of your being.  It was at this point in my own journey that my husband came into my life.

I hope you find using the Law of Attraction in this way to manifest your love and other desires extremely helpful and a whole lot more fun.

Have you used the Law of Attraction successfully to manifest something you wanted?  How did you feel and why did it work so well for you?  I’d love to hear from you!

If you need some guidance getting into that positive feeling place to manifest the love of your life, please contact me for a free 30 minute clarity session at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com!

Have a joyous and love-filled week!

Love,

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Three Questions to Begin Deliberately Attracting Your Soul Mate

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In the last post I wrote about the difference between the common default attraction versus deliberately attracting your soul mate.  The fun part now is the process of, in Abraham-Hicks words, deliberately creating your ideal partnership.  I say it’s fun because it can be like a game where you allow your imagination to roam free.  Actually the better you feel and more excited you get and the more fun you have about achieving your ideal desire, the quicker the manifestation is likely to occur.  Always keep in mind what Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.”  If you’re having fun and feeling good then that will seek you, too!

Here are three questions and steps to get you started on your journey:

1)    What is it that you really want in an ideal partnership?

Get precisely clear on what you want the nature of the relationship to be (like married or unmarried but living together, children or not), the type of partner you want to be with, and how you see your life together.  I know there’s a popular myth out there that a woman should “just be cool” until she knows how the guy feels about her – but that is the complete opposite of being a deliberate creator.  Waiting for someone to decide what he or she wants with you is not honoring the lovable and powerful person you truly are.  If you apply, “What you seek is seeking you” then being anything other than who YOU are when seeking your ideal love is going to draw inauthentic, unclear or wishy-washy love back to you – and can lead to heartbreak further down the road.  Be clear on what it is you truly want.

2)    Why do you want your ideal partnership?

Knowing why you want something fuels the energy behind your desire.  It also can tell you if what you’re asking for is in your highest interests.  If your reasons for wanting to be with your ideal partner are based in love and feel good – for example, wanting to be with someone because, “I want to express love with someone every day,” then you’ll attract a partner that wants the same good feeling.  If you ask why and your answer is fear-based, for example because, “I don’t want to be alone,” then you’ll also attract a partner that has the same fear based feeling.  “What you seek is seeking you,” so remember that you will attract a partner that wants a relationship for the same reasons (whether you realize it or not).  Also being clear on why you want your ideal relationship will further clarify what it is you want and simplify the process of dating and looking.

3)    How do you want to feel when you are in your ideal partnership?

Now we’re getting down to the important stuff when it comes to being a powerful creator in our lives.  It’s all about feelings.  In our analytical, logical society feelings have been put on the back shelf described as being just “chick stuff,” (actually things typically thought of as masculine like sports and war are just as much about feelings) but if you truly want to receive your heart’s desire – then you must tune in to your feelings about it.  Again, to be a broken Rumi record, “What you seek is seeking you,” and that is completely true when it comes to your feelings.  Do you want to feel good, happy and loved in your partnership?  Then if you focus on those wonderful feelings when you think about your life in your ideal relationship, then you will attract the partner that is also seeking those feelings in a relationship.  If your feelings about being in a relationship are bad (mine were for quite some time years ago), then check in with yourself and ask, “What is the limiting belief that is causing me to feel this way?  Am I willing to transmute this into a new belief that serves me now?  What is the new belief that I’m willing to adopt to move forward with the love I truly desire?”

The more you focus on your good feelings about what it is you desire, the quicker it will come to you and the more enjoyable and authentic your results will be.

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In summary, clarify – What? Why? and How?  And get into those good feelings as much as possible! 

I hope this was helpful for you and gives you a good starting point in manifesting your dreams.  When have you manifested something wonderful in your life?  As always, I’d love to read your comments below.

Lots of Love & Good Feelings,

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Romancing with Deliberate Attraction versus Default Attraction

What is deliberate attraction?  The name is a reference to the Abraham-Hicks materials on Law of Attraction where they talk about the Law of Deliberate Creation.  You can watch a brief video with Esther Hicks talking about creating deliberately here.  In short, when we are intending to deliberately attract something into our lives we must first come into the feeling, energy, vibration or alignment of what it is that we truly want by focusing on what we want.

For example, when I was younger I wanted a man to come into my life and love me dearly and want to marry me.  I thought if I waited around long enough it would happen eventually.  The thought alone of my desire was not enough to make it happen. Truthfully, it was so out of alignment with my energy back then for many reasons; the idea of marriage scared me, I was fearful of getting hurt, I didn’t trust someone to be there for me and love me, and my heart was closed to giving and receiving love.  As a result, the relationships I was attracting by default were based in fear and neediness, which was just a reflection of my own energy at that time.  It never ended well needless to say.

This kind of default attraction is what most of us do in life because we weren’t taught to deliberately create our reality as a child.  There’s a lot of media (books, movies, TV, and dating advice columns) that encourages romance by default – like the notion of falling in love by locking eyes across a crowded room.  For the record, I do not recommend choosing anything, especially your life partner, by default attraction.  Default attraction happens when you haven’t thought in advance what you want in a relationship (it’s so important to know that) or what you value and are just “waiting” for the right one to come along, when you’re physically attracted to someone and just go for it, or just accept being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you would like.

And please don’t feel bad if you’ve done this.  I operated this way for most of my life and we are literally encouraged to act this way by popular entertainment.  If you’re feeling bad about it then know that is just your higher self telling you that it’s time to change and attract deliberately!

So in deliberate attraction, we clarify want we want and get into the good feeling space (or energy, vibration, etc.) of what it is we do want – not what we’re afraid of happening.  This can happen quickly or may take more time depending on the amount of negative energy someone has around what they desire.  What is the result of deliberately attracting our soul mate instead of mating by default?

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From my own personal experience I can honestly tell you that when I took deliberate charge of my love life, these were the results:

I had clarity and KNEW the type of man I would end up with in advance

It took the mystery and guessing games out of dating

I felt in charge and confident going on dates

I never felt pressured to have sex

I didn’t play into or focus on the undesirable behavior of anyone around me

I could be honest about what I wanted with others

I didn’t waste time with men that weren’t in alignment with me

The men I did meet, whether there was interest or not, respected me and were very nice

After only seven weeks of dating online with deliberate intent, I met the love of my life

Dating him felt good and was joyful

He is exactly the kind of man I deliberately wanted to draw into my life

Though we aren’t perfect people :), our marriage feels great and wonderful every day

Living deliberately in this way is a choice we can make every day with decisions big and small, beginning with our thoughts and intentions.  As strong women in this day and age it’s more important than ever to choose our love based on good feelings and that’s in alignment with our highest self, or God or Spirit.  Our partner must support the best woman we are capable of being.  Looking back I can’t believe I ever accepted less than that and I hope no woman feels she has to settle for less again.

black-87853_1920 In my next post I’ll give you three ways that you can begin deliberately attracting the love you want now!

For now I’d love your comments – Which goals or achievements in your life do you feel you created deliberately?  How do you feel when you think of those things?

With my heart full of love,

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Welcome, Deliberate Creators of Love and Life!

Hello and welcome!  Thank you for taking the time for check out my blog site, I sincerely hope you find it inspiring.  My name is Dina Robison, some of you may know me as Dina Prioste (my maiden name).  I’m a yoga and meditation instructor but did you know that I also guide women to attract the love they truly desire?  This site will feature articles related to inspiration, empowerment, and personal growth in love.  Loving on purpose and with a purpose!

Why coach women who want true love?  I’ll save the detailed response for a future post but, in short, my life has been completely transformed from one of stark independence, loneliness, fear and doubt into one of interdependence, empowerment, joy and love that I had never before dreamed was possible, (as seen in the picture below.)  Image

Once I got clear deep soul love happened for me in a very short time.  So I truly believe that any woman who wants it too and commits herself to the path will have the same happen for her.  I am here to offer you the insights, tips and inspiration that I discovered on my journey to love.

In the meantime if you have any questions, ideas or stories about attracting your ideal partner, please comment – I’d love to hear your thoughts!

With Love & Happiness,

Dina R.