Tag Archives: Marriage

Online Dating Without Going Crazy

Dating Online Is Still an Amazing Way To Meet People

That being said, it can drive you crazy if you aren’t deliberate about it.

Over 7 years ago I met my husband online about 6 weeks after I signed up on the dating site.

Was I just lucky? Maybe.

But I also was very deliberate by following a few simple tips and cut through the riff-raff to get straight to the one.

In my blog post, Dating Online To Find Love Without Losing Your Mind, I highlight the exact steps and my mindset when I met my husband online.

Read all about them here.

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9 Ways TV and Movies Are Messing Up Your Love Life

Harmful Love and Relationship Myths Thanks To Entertainment

It’ s no secret that I believe the way entertainment portrays love and relationships is an enormous contributor to the limiting beliefs that make it challenging to find a soulmate.

Yes, I’m sure most people do consciously know they are watching fiction and that it isn’t “reality.” But what most don’t realize is that without a positive model of soulmate love growing up, what their mind absorbs becomes their reality of love.

And a compelling story combined with beautiful actors, a heart-stirring score, and stunning special effects has the power to profoundly affect our emotions and feelings about love. Additionally, with an ever-increasing trend towards violence and disturbing themes in entertainment, it’s more important than ever to be aware of these messages.

Every once in a while I bring this topic back to the forefront as I did in my latest blog post: Nine Harmful Love and Relationship Myths Courtesy of Popular Entertainment.

Check it out here to read the top myths the entertainment industry perpetuates that could be messing up your love life. Do you recognize any, or all, of them?

When You Feel You’ve Met Your Soul Mate and He Doesn’t Feel the Same Way

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A reader of this blog and friend emailed me last week to tell me about her heartbreaking situation and asked me what my thoughts were about it.

In the email she detailed that she had a romance with a man that she felt was the one, her soul mate, and it had been going great for a while.  She felt he was in love with her as much as she was with him.  However, he was just coming off of a messy divorce and wasn’t ready for a deeper commitment at that time and they parted ways.  She respected where he was at and gave him space while waiting for him to come back when he was ready.  Long story short, he never did and is now in another relationship and engaged to be married.

As a woman who’s been in a similar situation let me just say first…ouch.  I’m so sorry for the heartbreak you are going through.  Myself and so many women I’ve known over the years have gone through something similar.  Please know your feelings are totally validated here and just allow yourself to feel them whatever they may be.

Regardless of what you’re going through now you won’t need to feel this way for very long.  There is a light at the end of this tunnel if you can allow the situation to be a learning and growth experience on the way to meeting  your real love.

First let me address the concept of Soul Mates.  I mean, what the heck is that anyway?  There are so many definitions and theories on this ranging from you only get one – to – you have tons of them including your first grade teacher.

I don’t really know for sure (to say the least because I’m not a channel, enlightened, and don’t have memories of my soul life before incarnating in this body as a squealing baby) – but what I’ve noticed in my life and my feeling is that we have soul mates in two major categories: 1) The long term life journey growth and expansion kind, and 2) The short term, smack you in the face, wake you up so you get on the right path to what you really should have kind.

So with that in mind…yes, this man could have been your soul mate.  But he was more likely a soul mate that helped you to re-direct your course onto the right path so you can meet your long-term, soul mate partner.  I lovingly think of my own last heartbreak (which I’m so thankful for now) as my “wake up call guy.”  Sounds like this guy was your wake up call guy.

Secondly, and the most important aspect to this I want to address here is the fact that he wasn’t sure about committing to you and you still felt he was the one.  This is not to judge you as I’ve been there, too, but this is an important part of the waking up process…

When all is said and done – as much as you may love someone if he doesn’t feel the same way about you is that good enough for you in your soul mate relationship?  I mean, does that really cut it?  Do you want to wake up every morning next to someone who had to really wait and think about whether he wanted to be with you when you were positively sure about him?  Do you want to affirm to the Universe or God or Source that that is as much as you deserve to be loved?

Yes, you may be head over heels in love with him but nevertheless I sincerely hope you answered NO to those questions.  If not then you have some work to do transmuting your limiting beliefs about your worth in love and relationships.

One of the most important steps to deliberately attracting your soul mate aside from finding the one you love, of course, is to be open and ready to receive love from the one that loves and feels the same way about you.  To love the one that loves you. When you’re attracting deliberately you’re not just attracting any guy that feels you’re his maybe when he’s ready – you’re attracting the one that is ready to drop everything and do anything to be with you and take vows with you at the altar and maybe even make mini versions of the two of you.

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Personally, after my wake up call guy I’ll be damned if I was going to settle for anything less that that.   And I don’t think any other woman should either.  I forget who said this originally but it was something to the effect of, “the Universe doesn’t take anything away from you unless it plans to give you something better.”

So what do you need to do, believe or have to be open and ready to receive that kind of devoted love?  What would it take for you to know you have that kind of love waiting for you just around the corner? 

Two days after I received that email I saw this quote from Jeff Brown of soulshaping.com which describes this perfectly:

“If one person doesn’t want the relationship, then it’s simply not a fit. No sense trying to figure out why we think they don’t want it. No sense blaming it on their commitment issues. No sense waiting around for them to realize they wanted it after all. And if they don’t want it, then we don’t want it, because we don’t want to be with someone who is not there for it fully. That’s the thing about a love relationship- it’s an agreement that has to be signed by both souls. If one doesn’t sign, then nothing has been lost. If it’s not a fit for them, it’s not a fit for us either.” Jeff Brown http://soulshaping.com/

I hope this inspires you to love the one that loves you.  How about you?  Have you had a wake up situation that re-directed you on to the right path or that made you truly realize your worth?  I’d love to read about it, please comment.

If you liked this article please like and share and all that good stuff!

Lots of Love & Light,

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Attracting the Same Type of Guy Over and Over? Here’s How To Take Charge and Change It

“I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.” ~ Wayne Dyer

If you’ve been dating for a while and/or have had multiple relationships you may have noticed a similarity or two (or more) amongst the men you are attracting into your love life.  It can be frustrating to say the least because at the beginning it may seem like this guy is totally and completely different than the last but as time goes on the same characteristics, and possibly the same annoyances, start to pop up.

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I can relate. This was happening with me until one day I had enough and decided to get off that seemingly endless wheel of disappointment.  I took a sabbatical from dating to figure out why I was attracting and was attracted to such similar men, and how to attract someone I could really build my life with.

There were three fundamental truths about attraction and the Law of Attraction that I came to know during this time that I hope can shed some light on this for you:

1)    You are not a victim to whom you attract into your life.  Attraction is a two way street – if you are attracting someone, it means you are also attracted to him.  It is your attraction for each other that brings you together.

2)    It’s essential that you bring your awareness to what you want to attract instead.  If you are obsessing about the way things have been or could have been then energetically you’re still holding that in your life.

3)    Like the Wayne Dyer quote above – your energy, vibration, beliefs, and being matches that of whom you’re attracting.  Yep, it’s hard to admit or fathom, but it’s true.  You are attracting the people into the life you do because of your own vibration.  Now, this isn’t so you can blame yourself or anybody else as we all are doing the same thing all the time.  But it’s a wonderful opportunity to become aware, learn and grow.

So now what do you do?  Here’s what I did with much success and you can, too, to change this pattern:

1)    Acknowledge how you were benefiting from attracting those guys into your life and acknowledge that you no longer need that benefit and that you are willing to change your self.  Awareness is the first step to breaking a pattern.

2)    Ask yourself, “What do I want instead?”  Write down all of the qualities, values and traits that you would like to have in a partner instead.  Also, write down the qualities, values and traits that you would like in your ideal relationship.  If you can’t help but think of an icky trait of an ex, then just write down what the opposite of that trait is.  Do this until you have a clear picture of the type of person you intend to attract from now on.

3)    Grow your Self, “change” what you Are.  Yes, be your Self but until you are a match for the type of person you really want in your life, you will keep attracting what you attracted before.  With deliberate attraction this is more about revealing your authentic Self rather than simply changing or acting differently.  A couple of questions to get your started – ask yourself, “What kind of woman do I need to be to attract and be in a relationship with this type of man?” and, “What do I need to believe in order to attract and be with this type of man?”  Your answers will give you a lot of direction for where you want to be and need to be before you enter in to your next relationship.

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This can be a painfully truthful yet very liberating process to go through.  However, if you really want to deliberately attract your ideal partner it is essential to take these steps before beginning the dating process again to avoid getting into the same relationship with the same type of guy.  When your energy has changed to match the person and relationship you truly desire you cannot help but attract the right man to you!

I hope you find this inspiring and helpful.  I’d love to read your comments, so please leave them below!  And if you enjoyed this article and resonate with the message please share with the social media buttons below.

Love & Light,

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How Dating Games and Rules Are Blocking Your Potential For Soul Mate Love

Last week I heard a money mindset tip from a coach that went, “It’s easier to make lots of money than it is to make a little money.”  At first it sounds backwards and whether you believe that or not is okay, but as soon as I heard that it resonated as completely true for me.  Why?  Because it’s exactly the same concept (after all everything is energy) that I coach my clients on about love.

Attracting and being in your ideal relationship is so much easier than being in default one.

This truth is why I’m so inspired to help women attract the love they always wanted because it’s so EASY and feels GREAT.  No more banging your head against the wall wondering if he’s serious about you or if he’s going to decide to commit.  No biting your lip in fear that if you express your feelings to him he will run off.

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Actually, your soul mate feels the same way about you as you do about him and the whole process just flows and it can flow rather quickly if that’s what you desire.

The other night I was skimming through some dating advice articles from major magazines and online newspapers; I was horrified that what’s promoted as the popular, mainstream belief is that dating and relationships are a struggle and sacrifice.  That a woman shouldn’t express how she’s feeling too soon even if she is physically intimate with her man (HUH?), that she shouldn’t complain (holding in her feelings will passively come out in complaints, btw), and that she should just focus on having fun (somewhat agree depending on what fun means).

Well, would that feel good to you in a relationship?  Does being anything other than being your Self and expressing your feelings of love feel like a good relationship to you?  Does not getting the love and commitment you desire sound like it would be fun after a while?

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If you are so done with dating (like I was when I attracted my husband) and are ready to attract your soul mate then there is something you need to know:

Behaviors, games, tactics, and “rules” that have you being anything other than your Self will attract the wrong man to you.  Period. 

Authentic, honest expression of who you are as a woman and knowing what’s important to you in your life and in your relationship will attract the right man to you. 

So this brings us to why soul mate love is so easy; because you get to totally be your self and be up front about what you’re looking for.  What a relief!  Anyone who doesn’t match that won’t be a time and energy drain.  And when you deliberately attract your partner it will be because he wants the very same things you do and he’s just as ready as you are for love.  You will know sooner that you are right for each other and should marriage be on your minds, that will happen sooner, too, as it did for myself and other couples I know.

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So when you read any dating advice, including this, please check in with your self.  Does it feel true and good to you?

“Learn to guide your thoughts in the direction of things that feel good, and discover the power that only comes from vibrational alignment with Source.” ~ Abraham–Hicks

If you enjoyed this article and you resonate with the message, please share with the buttons below or comment.  Let’s spread the word about authentic and loving relationships!

Lovingly & Truthfully Yours,

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How to Make Your Big WHY Attract Your Ideal Relationship and Serve Your Higher Purpose

Let’s be real.  You don’t need a man.  You don’t need to be married or in a relationship.  If there’s anything I hope you’ve gotten from my blog is that you are a whole, complete, and fulfilled woman just as you are.  The reality is that you don’t need anything other than being who you are and just showing up to your life every day.  In light of that you might be wondering why I joined the ranks of the married and am coaching women that want to do the same…

Because deliberate attraction is so much more than just attracting a partner.  Deliberate attraction acknowledges that as women in this time of evolving world consciousness our life’s mission, whether in a relationship or not, means having so much more impact on the world than it did thirty, fifty, or a hundred or more years ago.

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Last week I swore that I would not be another woman to quote this Dalai Lama statement but what the heck…

“The world will be saved by the western woman.”

This statement has set forth into motion thousands upon thousands of women (all over the world) coming forward in their relationships, businesses, and lives in a way that is bringing higher consciousness into everything we do individually and collectively.  What does that have to do with finding your soul mate?

One of the biggest impacts we women can have on the world begins with us, being our divine selves, in our homes, creating and nurturing partnerships and families based on spiritual and uplifting love; this divine love spreads from our families to our neighbors, our schools, our businesses, our governments and across the entire planet.  When this kind of love becomes the norm, or hits the tipping point, then all will truly be living peacefully and abundantly on this planet as we are meant to.

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As a woman, no, you do not need a man.  A man does not need a woman either.  In this day and age we are quite independent of each other and can survive wonderfully with out a partner.  I’ve been aware of this for years and actually used to get really embarrassed when people tried to set me up with someone or suggest I date or get married – at least for the reasons I figured they thought I should based on social expectation and need.  I always had a “big picture” outlook and thought there were bigger and more important things to do in the world; dating and relationships honestly didn’t seem that crucial to me.

It wasn’t until I was about 35 that I came into alignment with my big WHY – why I wanted to be in partnership with my soul mate and why it means so much to me for my soul’s purpose here.  Because that WHY was so meaningful to me, it inspired me to attract my partner and set the stage for the amazing, inspiring marriage I’m in now.

As intended when I first put forth why I wanted to marry my soul mate my marriage has helped me to grow in my capacity to love in ways where I was previously limited.  My partnership has also given me the support and space to further my purpose, or one of my purposes, here in this lifetime – helping the world to love more while loving myself more.  Also my spiritual practice has deepened and I’m enjoying life more fully than I had before by allowing my love to expand beyond myself.

Now that may not have anything to do with why you’re looking for a soul mate relationship.  But my point is that our desire for a relationship at this point in evolution has to be so much more than just having companionship, having children, and having reliable physical affection.  There is a new paradigm being called forth in love and your vision of an ideal relationship is leading the way to making the Dalai Lama’s statement about women saving the world a reality.

So then, what is your big WHY? 

Why are you being called forth now to have the partnership you’ve always wanted? 

What is the big picture reason for attracting and being with your soul mate? 

In what ways will you expand with the support of your soul mate?

What will your life be like in your ideal partnership?

How is your ideal partnership in alignment with your purpose here on the planet?

Your answers to these questions are the new, emerging paradigm for love and relationships.  And your vision of your partnership with your soul mate is changing the world for good.

Enjoy the journey but always be true to yourself and your big WHY.

Love and Peace,

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More on Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Seem to Work – To Love or To Avoid Pain

Have you experienced really wanting something, using what you think is the law of attraction (thinking about what you want) and then getting what seems to be the opposite?

When we diligently think we apply the law of attraction to our love lives and don’t get the relationship we want an easy response might be to blame the logic behind it saying things like, “That’s just woo woo, it’s not science” or, “Some people are just lucky” or, “It’s just not meant to be for me.”

Let me tell you, the quantum physicists know the science behind it – along with studies to back it up, it isn’t luck unless you believe you make your own, and your highest desires are absolutely meant for you to have.  The law of attraction is always working in the same way that the law of gravity is always working.  So why wouldn’t you still have the relationship of your dreams if you’re constantly thinking about the love that you want?

One reason, as stated in my earlier post on this topic, is that even though you might be thinking about wanting one thing it might not actually feel good to you due to limiting beliefs.  Your feelings, or vibration, are actually what’s doing the attracting (your thoughts can only contribute to the feelings).  You must get your good feelings aligned with the relationship you desire.

love-107227 Another reason, and the whole point of this article, is that your reasons – your big WHY – you want to be with the love of your life might be causing you to feel bad unknowingly.  If you enter a relationship to avoid some kind of pain (like being alone), you are only affirming the pain (the loneliness that you feel).   It’s all about feelings.  Do you want a relationship for reasons that feel good or reasons that feel bad to you?

Some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm negative feelings:

–       To avoid being alone. (Affirms and attracts more loneliness.)

–       To avoid the pain of a recent loss. (Affirms and attracts the pain of the loss.)

–       To be validated in any way by this person.  (Affirms and attracts that you are not enough and need validation.)

–       To get satisfied or gratified.  (Affirms and attracts dissatisfaction.)

In my younger days I unknowingly entered relationships for all of these reasons, and almost as quickly exited the relationship feeling worse.  So I finally took some time alone to bring my feelings and vibration up to speed with the love I truly desired for marriage before dating again.

Do you see how going into dating or a relationship while holding on to the vibration of what you don’t want actually attracts more of this to you?  This is why when I work with clients we get the vibration and good feelings up to match the relationship she desires first before we work on magnetizing her soul mate.

Now some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm delicious, good feelings:

–       To expand my capacity to love another and myself.  (Affirms and attracts love.)

–       To learn to receive love and care from another.  (Affirms and attracts love and caring.)

–       To have children and expand our family.  (Affirms and attracts love, expansion, and abundance.)

–       To grow spiritually.  (Affirms and attracts spiritual growth.)

–       To support each other on our soul’s journey.  (Affirms and attracts support.)

Do you see how these reasons affirm the positive and what you want to have with your partner?  Coming from this perspective now the law of attraction can actually bring you what it is you want in a love relationship because you are affirming and building on those wonderful good feelings and good vibrations that you really want.

My challenge to you is to ask yourself – why do I want to meet the love of my life now?  Find as many good feeling reasons as you can as to why this would mean so much to you in your life now.

The great news is that the law of attraction is always working and your good feelings are your guide to consciously bringing in what you desire.

With Love and Joy,

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