Tag Archives: Mind

This Popular Personal Growth Philosophy May Not Be Helping You Manifest Love Now

Warning: This is just another opinion, or philosophy, and may not necessarily be yours.  As always, listen to your heart and be true to yourself.  🙂

There is a popular idea in personal growth with a huge following (and believe me I read and enjoyed the books, too) that may not be helping you manifest the love and life you really want.  That idea is that you will be at peace if you just be in the NOW.

Don’t get me wrong, practicing being in the now is a very beneficial tool and practice.  As a yogini, I use the tools of concentration and meditation on a daily basis to be present (which isn’t the same as being in the now, I’ll explain).  Concentration and meditation has changed my life, calmed my emotions, and helped clear my mind.  I intend to practice it for the rest of my life.

But can you realistically be in the now when you have had past heartbreaks and limiting beliefs created from them?  Or can you be in the now when you make appointments, pay bills, and make choices for your future?  We cannot live only in the now.  The past and the future is always in our present, informing this moment.  We are present when what we perceive as now is in total alignment with our past and our future.  My coach likened this to an infinity symbol – the point in the middle being the present and the two loops representing the past and the future.

1125831_90405437“Time has no independent existence apart from the order of events by which we measure it.”  – Albert Einstein

So assuming (and I have to assume because my analytical mind cannot grasp it) that this is true then everything that occurred in your past and everything you imagine for your future is determining exactly what you’re experiencing right now.  This is mind-blowing to consider if you want to find the relationship of your dreams or manifest anything in your life.  After all, if it’s in your dreams and it’s in your future – that must be where you’re headed, right?

So what can you do to align your past and future with what you want to experience presently? 

–       Use your imagination.  Reframe and transmute energy from past relationship experiences into the energy you want to be in now.  A few questions you might ask are, “How has this event made me the woman I am presently?” and “What do I really want now instead?” You can also re-write your relationship story to be the way you want it to be.

–       Connect with your future self.  Imagine how your life will be 5 years from now with your soul mate, and for the rest of your life.  See yourself as an old woman having lived the purposeful life of your dreams.  See how being with your ideal partner changed the life you have yet to live.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein

Do you question whether simply imaging something is effective or real?  Then ask yourself, “Was there something that has happened in my life that was just a dream in my mind before?”  I’m guessing yes.  So dreaming and imagining has worked for you before.  If all time is present then the very thoughts you have “now” are creating your reality – past, present and future.  So be present with them all and let them represent the life and love that you want to have.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Anita Moorjani, who in her book Dying to Be Me details her near death experience and explains that our concept of time is simply an illusion.

“Since the tapestry of all time has already been woven, everything I could ever want to happen in my life already exists in that infinite, nonphysical plane. My only task is to expand my earthly self enough to let it into this realm. So if there’s something I desire, the idea isn’t to go out and get it, but to expand my own consciousness to allow universal energy to bring it into my reality here.”Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

With Love and Joy,

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How Deliberate Attraction Helps You Attract a Soul Mate Relationship and Some Good Summer Reads

In an earlier post I highlighted some of the differences between the usual type of attraction and attracting deliberately.  The name “deliberate attraction” is inspired by law of attraction experts’, Abraham-Hicks, use of the words “deliberate – creating, intent, etc.) in their works; which basically means, in my words, that we have the power to make choices in our lives in alignment with our highest good and highest wisdom at all times by tuning in to our feelings.  The good, internal feelings (not to be confused with bliss or a temporary high) are what we are going for – they are an indication of what’s in alignment with our soul.

When deliberately attracting a soul mate relationship you, to quote another huge inspiration Stephen Covey, “Begin with the end in mind.”  More on Covey later.

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1) Begin by with the end in mind by first asking yourself what soul qualities you want to express in your life; i.e., unconditional love, service, charity, honesty, devotion to God.  (For more info on soul qualities I highly recommend the Sanaya Roman books Soul Love and Creating Money, too.)

2) Then ask yourself what values are important to you in your life; i.e., family, living healthfully, joyful employment, spiritual community, having fun.

3) Next ask yourself how these soul qualities and values present themselves in your personality or energy; i.e., an honest person, communicative, smiles and laughs a lot, physically affectionate.

4) Lastly, you ask yourself what this looks like in the physical world; i.e., wants to have children, physically fit/exercises, what area you want to live in, what church if any you belong to, whether you travel or not, etc.

This, because it’s a true representation of who you really are at the soul level, will very closely match your soul mate.  You attract what you are sending out, so when you live from this place you will attract a mate that has the qualities most important to you.  Personally, I attracted my husband into my life after I began living authentically from my soul self and released a lot of old patterns and beliefs that weren’t truly expressing who I was.

So have you noticed the main difference between regular ol’ attraction and deliberate attraction? 

It’s a big paradigm shift.  It’s the reverse order of what we’re used to about standard attraction – which is usually to see, chat, feel chemistry, get to know someone and hope for the best in the long run.  Based on my experience and on the examples of people I know in fantastic partnerships, (though there may be exceptions to this and God bless you that are) attracting deliberately is more often effective for bringing in that long-term love that your soul truly desires and thrives in.

I’ll close with a detailed description of Highly Effective Habit #2: Begin with the end in mind as written on Stephen Covey’s website.

“So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you–right now–who you want to be, what you dreamed you’d be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty–successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It’s about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.”

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Book recommendations:  Anything by Abraham-Hicks, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Soul Love and Creating Money by Sanaya Roman.

Some soul love food for thought and great reads to begin your summer!

Lots of Love,

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Your Mind Obsessing About What You Don’t Want In Love? Three Ways to Turn it Around

You find that you have a very large organ called a brain.  It thinks.  It thinks a lot.  And if you’re a very intelligent person it thinks a whole lot.  And if you’re a very intelligent woman it probably thinks about a whole lot of different things at the same time.  There was a joke going around Facebook about that – something to effect of, “Imagine having your browser with 3,467 tabs open all at once.  That’s what it’s like to be in a woman’s head.” 

I thought that was funny because I can so totally relate.  And I wouldn’t really want to change much; I love my creativity and analytical mind.  But with some, or a lot of, practice I’ve trained myself to rein in my obsessive mind when I need to.

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You see our wonderfully creative and multi-tasking minds are great for some things but when our thoughts turn into feelings about our love life that bog us down then we begin attracting exactly what we don’t want into our lives.  Our predominating feelings and energy matches exactly what we’re attracting in.  So it’s very beneficial to have tools for noticing when you’re thinking and vibrating where you don’t want to be, to rein it in, and to go back to what you want.

Here are a few techniques for anyone wanting to take charge of their life in spite of what your habitual mind is telling you –

–       Begin a silent meditation practice.  This can start out just 5 minutes a day and go up to as long as you have time for.  Begin by concentrating on one thing – your breathing, a word or short phrase (a mantra), or your spiritual center between your eyebrows.  If your mind wanders, just simply bring it back to your point of focus.  This will help you to become more present and aware when your mind is going somewhere not productive for you.

–       If you find that you’re having a conversation with yourself (and I do, often) that is unpleasant, turn it into a conversation of gratitude.  Thank the Universe or God or Source for all the good things that have come your way.

–       Get those thoughts out in a productive way – call a friend, write it in a journal, talk to a coach or counselor.  The other person is only to listen to you.  I find that the thoughts are way more interesting and elaborate and scary in my head but after I voice them they lose their power and drama.  They lose their realness.

Implementing one or all three of these techniques can really change your relationship to how much power your habitual thinking has over your life.  And then from there you can bring your thoughts and feelings back to the vibration of where you want your life and relationships to be instead.

Do you have any other tips, tricks or tools that work well for you?  I’d love to know, please share.

Have a joyous and peaceful weekend!

Lots of Love,

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