Tag Archives: partnerships

Attracting the Same Type of Guy Over and Over? Here’s How To Take Charge and Change It

“I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.” ~ Wayne Dyer

If you’ve been dating for a while and/or have had multiple relationships you may have noticed a similarity or two (or more) amongst the men you are attracting into your love life.  It can be frustrating to say the least because at the beginning it may seem like this guy is totally and completely different than the last but as time goes on the same characteristics, and possibly the same annoyances, start to pop up.

woman-72111

I can relate. This was happening with me until one day I had enough and decided to get off that seemingly endless wheel of disappointment.  I took a sabbatical from dating to figure out why I was attracting and was attracted to such similar men, and how to attract someone I could really build my life with.

There were three fundamental truths about attraction and the Law of Attraction that I came to know during this time that I hope can shed some light on this for you:

1)    You are not a victim to whom you attract into your life.  Attraction is a two way street – if you are attracting someone, it means you are also attracted to him.  It is your attraction for each other that brings you together.

2)    It’s essential that you bring your awareness to what you want to attract instead.  If you are obsessing about the way things have been or could have been then energetically you’re still holding that in your life.

3)    Like the Wayne Dyer quote above – your energy, vibration, beliefs, and being matches that of whom you’re attracting.  Yep, it’s hard to admit or fathom, but it’s true.  You are attracting the people into the life you do because of your own vibration.  Now, this isn’t so you can blame yourself or anybody else as we all are doing the same thing all the time.  But it’s a wonderful opportunity to become aware, learn and grow.

So now what do you do?  Here’s what I did with much success and you can, too, to change this pattern:

1)    Acknowledge how you were benefiting from attracting those guys into your life and acknowledge that you no longer need that benefit and that you are willing to change your self.  Awareness is the first step to breaking a pattern.

2)    Ask yourself, “What do I want instead?”  Write down all of the qualities, values and traits that you would like to have in a partner instead.  Also, write down the qualities, values and traits that you would like in your ideal relationship.  If you can’t help but think of an icky trait of an ex, then just write down what the opposite of that trait is.  Do this until you have a clear picture of the type of person you intend to attract from now on.

3)    Grow your Self, “change” what you Are.  Yes, be your Self but until you are a match for the type of person you really want in your life, you will keep attracting what you attracted before.  With deliberate attraction this is more about revealing your authentic Self rather than simply changing or acting differently.  A couple of questions to get your started – ask yourself, “What kind of woman do I need to be to attract and be in a relationship with this type of man?” and, “What do I need to believe in order to attract and be with this type of man?”  Your answers will give you a lot of direction for where you want to be and need to be before you enter in to your next relationship.

922636_97439258

This can be a painfully truthful yet very liberating process to go through.  However, if you really want to deliberately attract your ideal partner it is essential to take these steps before beginning the dating process again to avoid getting into the same relationship with the same type of guy.  When your energy has changed to match the person and relationship you truly desire you cannot help but attract the right man to you!

I hope you find this inspiring and helpful.  I’d love to read your comments, so please leave them below!  And if you enjoyed this article and resonate with the message please share with the social media buttons below.

Love & Light,

Signatureforblog

Advertisements

How the Couples You See in Entertainment Affect the Relationship You Attract

A few weeks ago a friend mentioned to me that when she was a child watching the Flintstones, for some reason, made her sad.  At first, I thought, that’s strange.  Then she explained it’s because it always felt really intense to her, like everyone was mad at each other all of the time.  Then I remembered that the Flintstones was the children’s equivalent to The Honeymooners.  You know the – “One of these days, POW right in the kisser!” – Honeymooners.  It makes perfect sense why the Flintstones would be sad for a child to see, and the Honeymooners sad for adults to see.

Over the years there have been countless sitcoms, films and even cartoons (!!) depicting couples as constantly bickering, complaining about and fighting with each other.  Over the decades the fighting has evolved from threats of physical violence, to hysteric yelling, to nasty insults, and to now what seems to be childish rants against each other.  I rarely watch television anymore but recently I watched a comedy show about a married couple only because a friend of mine was guest starring on it, unfortunately not until the very end.  It was the last time I would watch it because the main stars (who I like as performers) were constantly hurling mean insults back and forth like 3rd graders (really mean ones that is) at a playground…for the duration.  Somehow this is supposed to be funny.

As a kid that watched a lot of television growing up, I actually believed this to be the norm – which reminds me of Norm on Cheers, another man always displeased with his wife.  These fictional characters were a big part of my energetic influence and I unknowingly took on the belief that men and women cannot be happy in marriage, or together at all.  I took on the belief that men and women that cared about each other showed it by fighting with each other and insulting each other.  Those beliefs resulted in my early relationships centering on verbal abuse and fighting.

519374_77697360

Of course we can say that it’s just TV or a movie, it isn’t real, but doesn’t our mainstream entertainment “normalize” what we see?  Everything is energy, so if we aren’t conscious can’t we easily take on the energy of our favorite entertainment?  Similarly to what I mentioned in the posts about male and female characters, the character of the “couple” in media has gotten further and further away from the soul mate relationship that I, and I assume you if you’re reading this, want to be in.

So what can you do?  Ask yourself what do you really want your relationship to be like?  Not what you think you can or cannot have based on what you see, but what do you really want?  Write it down.  Talk it out with a friend.  If you’re a creative type, write a story or a script on it. 

472629_25673754

What else is helpful to raise your energy to that of the relationship you desire?  Change the channel.  Shut off the TV.  Seek out media with couples that are like the soul mate relationship you want to have (recently I enjoyed Date Night and Up).  Support those that are making the kind of entertainment that is positively feeding your soul and your partnership. 

emotional-50309

There is a new paradigm for our partnerships that is coming forward now to be the norm.  It isn’t that of our parents and grandparents who largely depended on each other in marriage.  New partnerships are based on mutual respect, support, interdependence and love.  Our partnership supports our spiritual growth individually and as a couple.  I’ll even be so bold as to say this partnership supports the evolution of the collective consciousness and the entire planet. 

The sooner that kind of partnership can be reflected in our entertainment, the sooner it can be reflected in partnerships across the globe.

What is your favorite couple in entertainment?  I’m always on the look out for positive and uplifting shows to watch, so please let me know.

With Love,

Signatureforblog

How Women You See in Entertainment Affects Your Energy and Whom You Attract

In 2005 I went to see a movie (I just realized this is my third post in a row beginning like this) that was a big budget, action/fantasy based on a graphic novel.  There’s something about seeing a movie in the theater, super-sized on the screen with full surround sound that makes is so effective and, well, real.

Unfortunately in this film targeted to young males, the women were not represented in a very encouraging way.  All the female characters, except one, were prostitutes or a stripper that appeared between the ages of 18 to 25.  The one female character that wasn’t a prostitute was a cop (encouraging)…and she bared her breasts (not encouraging).  All the male characters (also killer/assassin types) appeared between the ages of 40 and 50 and were very grungy looking types compared to the innocent prettiness of the females.

Watching this film was, surprisingly, the first time it really hit me that women are sadly misrepresented in popular entertainment and that I really felt the negativity and heaviness of the women in that film.  It was the first time a film affected me energetically like that.  Over the years I’ve noticed more and more how women are portrayed grossly…

Sassy, independent gals that sleep with guy after guy in just about every episode in an effort to find true love. The beautiful super heroine who kills without blinking but says that love is for children.  The romantic prostitute that finds her prince charming after he hires her for her services.  I’ll stop here, you get the picture.  And I haven’t watched very much popular entertainment in the last few years – currently there are more and more romantic comedies featuring the female lead as only wanting something casual, love not coming in to the equation until the very end.

 948508_88800125

In these instances, and in many other examples in entertainment, females are represented as being only worthwhile for sexual pleasure or violence and being totally heartless.  And being that watching entertainment can be such a powerful experience, these images can really affect the energy of viewers.  Myself and a lot of women have at some point taken on, unknowingly, the energy and traits of these types of characters.

** On a side note, if you think I’m exaggerating I recently attended a talk about sex trafficking and the speaker, who works with rehabilitating girls after prostitution, said that many of the girls actually believe the Pretty Woman fantasy that they will meet their rich, prince Charming that way.

 504086_49239287

So how does all of this affect you, who wants to attract and meet the love of your life?  Well, if you take on the energy of the entertainment you watch it may affect you (along with watching male characters) by energetically changing the way you show up in your relationships with men.  Some instances based on the examples above: taking on an overly sexual energy before establishing love in a relationship, behaving cold in an effort to be more appealing, or basically being a doormat in the name of love while the desired guy finally decides he wants to be with you.  This kind of energy can create an imbalance- too strong of masculine characteristics with very little feminine.  A divine female has a balance of both the masculine and the feminine.  She’s strong but has an open, loving heart.

 864290_62724659

What kind of energy do you want in your long-term partnership?  Do you want to be anything other than your self in your relationship?  How do you want to be and be loved in your relationship?

As with male characters – find examples of females that are like how you want to be in love and life.  Look for the energy of a woman that is balanced in both her feminine and masculine traits.  She’s strong in the positive difference she’s making in the world but has an open heart to fully love her man and her family unconditionally.  Look for women that are where you want to be, and take on their energy!

 663828_27604069

Who are you favorite, inspiring female characters in entertainment?  I’m always looking for good recommendations for uplifting movies or television shows, so please let me know if you got any.

Next week, my last article on this topic – the couples we see in entertainment and how that affects our relationships.

With Love,

Signatureforblog