Tag Archives: relationship

How Women You See in Entertainment Affects Your Energy and Whom You Attract

In 2005 I went to see a movie (I just realized this is my third post in a row beginning like this) that was a big budget, action/fantasy based on a graphic novel.  There’s something about seeing a movie in the theater, super-sized on the screen with full surround sound that makes is so effective and, well, real.

Unfortunately in this film targeted to young males, the women were not represented in a very encouraging way.  All the female characters, except one, were prostitutes or a stripper that appeared between the ages of 18 to 25.  The one female character that wasn’t a prostitute was a cop (encouraging)…and she bared her breasts (not encouraging).  All the male characters (also killer/assassin types) appeared between the ages of 40 and 50 and were very grungy looking types compared to the innocent prettiness of the females.

Watching this film was, surprisingly, the first time it really hit me that women are sadly misrepresented in popular entertainment and that I really felt the negativity and heaviness of the women in that film.  It was the first time a film affected me energetically like that.  Over the years I’ve noticed more and more how women are portrayed grossly…

Sassy, independent gals that sleep with guy after guy in just about every episode in an effort to find true love. The beautiful super heroine who kills without blinking but says that love is for children.  The romantic prostitute that finds her prince charming after he hires her for her services.  I’ll stop here, you get the picture.  And I haven’t watched very much popular entertainment in the last few years – currently there are more and more romantic comedies featuring the female lead as only wanting something casual, love not coming in to the equation until the very end.

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In these instances, and in many other examples in entertainment, females are represented as being only worthwhile for sexual pleasure or violence and being totally heartless.  And being that watching entertainment can be such a powerful experience, these images can really affect the energy of viewers.  Myself and a lot of women have at some point taken on, unknowingly, the energy and traits of these types of characters.

** On a side note, if you think I’m exaggerating I recently attended a talk about sex trafficking and the speaker, who works with rehabilitating girls after prostitution, said that many of the girls actually believe the Pretty Woman fantasy that they will meet their rich, prince Charming that way.

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So how does all of this affect you, who wants to attract and meet the love of your life?  Well, if you take on the energy of the entertainment you watch it may affect you (along with watching male characters) by energetically changing the way you show up in your relationships with men.  Some instances based on the examples above: taking on an overly sexual energy before establishing love in a relationship, behaving cold in an effort to be more appealing, or basically being a doormat in the name of love while the desired guy finally decides he wants to be with you.  This kind of energy can create an imbalance- too strong of masculine characteristics with very little feminine.  A divine female has a balance of both the masculine and the feminine.  She’s strong but has an open, loving heart.

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What kind of energy do you want in your long-term partnership?  Do you want to be anything other than your self in your relationship?  How do you want to be and be loved in your relationship?

As with male characters – find examples of females that are like how you want to be in love and life.  Look for the energy of a woman that is balanced in both her feminine and masculine traits.  She’s strong in the positive difference she’s making in the world but has an open heart to fully love her man and her family unconditionally.  Look for women that are where you want to be, and take on their energy!

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Who are you favorite, inspiring female characters in entertainment?  I’m always looking for good recommendations for uplifting movies or television shows, so please let me know if you got any.

Next week, my last article on this topic – the couples we see in entertainment and how that affects our relationships.

With Love,

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How the Men You See in Entertainment Affects Whom You Attract & How to Change It

A few weeks ago I saw the #1 comedy in America in the theater, which I won’t bother to name.  It had a few funny moments and featured some talented actors – the point of this article isn’t to bash the movie, I knew what I was getting into.  But I left the theater feeling grossed out and sad about the vision of what it means to be a man that a movie like that sends to both female and male viewers.  This vision is of a man that does drugs (a LOT), plays video games all day, speaks in sexual innuendos (a LOT), and only mentions women in the context of pornography or rape – both of which are not funny in the slightest. 

This got me thinking about other prominent male characters in mass entertainment: the good looking but totally ruthless and emotionless assassin, the hunky player that “changes” for the girl next door, the mysterious super hero that fights and kills bad guys who usually likes a girl but he can never be around, the “messed up” guy that’s getting over his issues, and the profanity blazing and drug using but lovable oaf type (he also might change for a girl). 

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Everything is energy.  What we see, hear, taste, touch, smell, and sense is energy that we are taking in and that is affecting our thoughts and beliefs.  Our thoughts and beliefs affect our feelings, which then affects what energy we are being/living and radiating out.  Because the law of attraction is always working that energy brings to us in our physical world things that match that energy.  Do you see where I’m going with this?

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So if you continuously see images of men in entertainment (and I love going to the movies, too, so this was a challenge for me) that are mean, violent, crude, sick, a total player, and downright disrespectful to women – and most popular movies nowadays feature such men – then it will affect your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and energy towards men and relationships.  But you have the choice to believe and think what you want about men and relationships.

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So what can you do? 

1) Look for images of men that represent the type of man you would want to marry.  The type of man that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with.  The type of man that cares about you and cares about the world.  The type of man that loves children and would never hurt anyone.  Okay, I’ll move on before I get too excited myself here….

What qualities do you want in YOUR man? 

2) Focus your attention on those qualities as you find evidence of them.  Notice men like him in movies, books, pictures, and in real life, of course.  What you focus on expands. 

How do you want to feel in your relationship? 

3) Look for entertainment that gives you the good feelings you want in your life. Notice how you feel when you do watch a male character.  If it doesn’t feel good to you, recognize that it’s just entertainment and not reality.  Look for movies and shows featuring males with good qualities that you love.  My husband and I are always looking for more positive and uplifting movies and shows to watch, and more and more are being produced thanks to great organizations like the Global Alliance for Transformational Entertainment. 

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Don’t let someone else’s idea of entertainment define your relationship story.  You get to write your own story.  And if you come across any great movies or shows that are uplifting and positive, please let me know by commenting or at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.  I’m always on the look out for them!

Next week – How the Women You See in Entertainment Affects Whom You Attract 🙂  Until then…

With Love & Light,

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What If Your Soul Mate Hasn’t Come Along and What To Do Now

Recently on my blog and in social media I’ve been seeing women post about the dilemma of really wanting to attract their soul mate, doing a lot of various manifesting work in that area, and then becoming very disappointed when their soul mate doesn’t appear in their life.  Yes, I totally agree that it’s heartbreaking to really want something and not have it pan out the way I wanted it to.

There could be countless reasons as to why this might be which may include but are not limited to:

The time isn’t ideal right now.

Your inner vibration is not up to speed with the vibration of what you’re wanting to attract into your life.

You may be ready but your soul mate may not be.

You might have limiting beliefs still overriding your belief in receiving your desire.

You may not fully trust that it’s going to happen.

Unbeknownst to you – you might not be allowing it to come into your life.

Your desire for a mate might be coming from a covetous, lower vibration that may not be in your highest interest.

And other countless possibilities.

All of these applied to me at some point in my journey for love.  Go inside and ask yourself – what is the reason my love hasn’t manifested in my physical life yet?  It’s nice to acknowledge and understand the reasons but that isn’t the most important part, which is…

To then get on with your life.  Remember the soul qualities and values I talked about in my last post on deliberate attraction?  Live in that place now.  Live the life that you want to share with your soul mate even though he isn’t here with you physically yet.  That is trust – truly knowing and believing that you will have your desire before it is physically present in your life.

Those last few months right before I met my husband I clearly recall shifting into that zone of trust and allowing.  I had no doubt in my mind that I would meet him very soon.  I took actions, like joining an online dating site, but was relaxed about the result.  Even if I didn’t meet him soon it was okay because I was enjoying my life anyway.  The desire to meet him and knowing I would was still very much there but I didn’t need to meet him to be living the life I wanted.  Does that make sense?  Are you willing to make that shift, too?

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So what can you do now in your life that will nurture your soul qualities?  What can you do now that represents your highest values?  What can you do now that feeds your personality and energy?  What physical actions can you take that is in alignment with these qualities? 

I hope you find this to be helpful and maybe a little fun, too.  As Abraham-Hicks always gently reminds their readers, we are too serious and need to just have more fun on this journey!

As always I’d love to read to your thoughts and appreciate your comments.

Always Love,

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How Deliberate Attraction Helps You Attract a Soul Mate Relationship and Some Good Summer Reads

In an earlier post I highlighted some of the differences between the usual type of attraction and attracting deliberately.  The name “deliberate attraction” is inspired by law of attraction experts’, Abraham-Hicks, use of the words “deliberate – creating, intent, etc.) in their works; which basically means, in my words, that we have the power to make choices in our lives in alignment with our highest good and highest wisdom at all times by tuning in to our feelings.  The good, internal feelings (not to be confused with bliss or a temporary high) are what we are going for – they are an indication of what’s in alignment with our soul.

When deliberately attracting a soul mate relationship you, to quote another huge inspiration Stephen Covey, “Begin with the end in mind.”  More on Covey later.

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1) Begin by with the end in mind by first asking yourself what soul qualities you want to express in your life; i.e., unconditional love, service, charity, honesty, devotion to God.  (For more info on soul qualities I highly recommend the Sanaya Roman books Soul Love and Creating Money, too.)

2) Then ask yourself what values are important to you in your life; i.e., family, living healthfully, joyful employment, spiritual community, having fun.

3) Next ask yourself how these soul qualities and values present themselves in your personality or energy; i.e., an honest person, communicative, smiles and laughs a lot, physically affectionate.

4) Lastly, you ask yourself what this looks like in the physical world; i.e., wants to have children, physically fit/exercises, what area you want to live in, what church if any you belong to, whether you travel or not, etc.

This, because it’s a true representation of who you really are at the soul level, will very closely match your soul mate.  You attract what you are sending out, so when you live from this place you will attract a mate that has the qualities most important to you.  Personally, I attracted my husband into my life after I began living authentically from my soul self and released a lot of old patterns and beliefs that weren’t truly expressing who I was.

So have you noticed the main difference between regular ol’ attraction and deliberate attraction? 

It’s a big paradigm shift.  It’s the reverse order of what we’re used to about standard attraction – which is usually to see, chat, feel chemistry, get to know someone and hope for the best in the long run.  Based on my experience and on the examples of people I know in fantastic partnerships, (though there may be exceptions to this and God bless you that are) attracting deliberately is more often effective for bringing in that long-term love that your soul truly desires and thrives in.

I’ll close with a detailed description of Highly Effective Habit #2: Begin with the end in mind as written on Stephen Covey’s website.

“So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you–right now–who you want to be, what you dreamed you’d be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty–successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It’s about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.”

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Book recommendations:  Anything by Abraham-Hicks, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Soul Love and Creating Money by Sanaya Roman.

Some soul love food for thought and great reads to begin your summer!

Lots of Love,

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Negative Beliefs From Past Relationships and What To Do About It

Staying in past negative relationship stories and holding them as true can be one of the biggest stumbling blocks to attracting the love your soul truly desires now.  By holding firm to a past situation that was in a lower vibration, whether consciously or not, you’re actually are still attracting the energy and vibration of your old relationship.  So how do you get out of that old energy?

In an earlier post I talked about how important it is to re-write your story.  Like an author, just create in writing the story that you want now in your life.  It doesn’t mean that it has to be perfect or that you have to feel perfect about it yet, what’s important is that the intention is there.  The intention that your next relationship will not be like your past ones and will be exactly as you want it.  And that you’re willing to move on and accept the help you need to get you there.  Intention and willingness are powerful.

Do you ever find that when you have felt bad about something that it can actually inspire you to make a change to have something even better and more in alignment with who you really are?  Is there any situation in your life where you made a change like that, for example a job change?  Well, I have.  And I use those negative feelings of disappointment, rejection, or whatever it is to fuel what it is that I truly want.

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So in deliberate attraction I don’t encourage you to just get over or “let go” of those feelings about the past.  If you are able to do that like soon and fairly easily without any kind of lobotomy then awesome!  Do it.  But for most of us we know the past is done and it might take lifetimes to completely “let go” of something really painful.  Therefore, when deliberately attracting the love your soul desires it’s much more beneficial to transmute the negative energy, beliefs and feelings into energy, beliefs and feelings that serve you now.

What does that mean?  It can mean many things – changing your perspective about what happened, seeing another point of view, re-framing a negative belief, re-framing agreements you made to others or yourself, healing your own wounds and filling your own voids to name just a few ways.  You transmute energy any time you feel a shift or change in YOU.  Have you ever made a shift in your diet or health or stopped an addiction?  That’s what I mean by transmuting your energy.  You changed and there’s no going back.  Transmutation is where YOUR power lies because it begins and ends with you.

There are tons of methods you can use to assist you in transmuting energy and making shifts which might include but are not limited to coaching, counseling, therapy, support groups, inspirational books, journaling, meditation, prayer, healing modalities, singing, chanting, yoga, dancing and anything else you can think of that you feel feeds your soul.  The choice is yours.

Here are a couple of powerful questions to get you started.  It can be challenging to take a look at but one way to begin changing your perspective about a negative past relationship is to honestly ask yourself these questions.  You don’t have to have answers right away.  Just ask, either in writing or in prayer, and let guidance come to you naturally any time later.

What was I getting out of that situation? 

What part did I play in allowing that to happen? 

What did I learn from it? 

What will I do differently next time? 

“View other people’s actions as mirrors.  Discover what their behaviors are telling you about yourself…Change your relationships by changing yourself.”  From Sanaya Roman’s Soul Love

This isn’t about blaming or getting down on your self.  This is about taking ownership for the energy you’re putting out into the Universe in prior relationships and presently and consciously changing it.  And only you can do that.

This doesn’t mean it has to all happen overnight or that you have to do it alone.  I cannot recommend enough the power of finding support of some sort, either from a trusted friend or from a professional because an outside perspective can get you out of your own mind.

Be easy on yourself.  It’s totally okay to be feeling what you’re feeling.  Even if it’s negative right now it’s fueling your desire for change, for something positive in your life, and for the relationship of your dreams.  Then bring yourself back to what you want.  Always.  Gently remind yourself to go back to what you want.  Like training a muscle, you’ll find that it gets easier and you get stronger.

If you have any comments or questions about this that you’d like me to address in future blog posts please ask me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.  My desire is that this gives you some food for thought and gets you on track to manifesting the love you want.

With Love & Joy,

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The Catch 22 of Being an Independent Woman

I’m an independent and strong woman and all of my life have admired women and female characters that aren’t afraid to be alone and can take care of themselves.  Those are beautiful qualities for anyone to have and I do believe it’s essential to know how to be alone and happy before attempting to be happy in a relationship with another.

However, after over 33 years of living my strong-willed and independent life, I wondered why I was still alone.  Actually, I didn’t wonder very long because it became blatantly obvious that I had cultivated the idea, energy and feeling of being independent, strong and alone for so long that I didn’t know how to live any other way.

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In all of my years of living, dating and being in relationships (romantic or otherwise) I never learned how to receive from, ask for help from, trust in, and share with another person.  It was something I thought I’d never have to do but in order to be in the relationship of my dreams I knew I had to cultivate to these qualities and feelings – and learn to enjoy them.  If I wanted a partner that had these qualities then I needed to be this way, too.

Does this sound familiar to you?  Can you relate to this?

It took a couple of years of inner work and some discomfort with the change, but now I’m in the marriage of my dreams.  We share a home, a bank account and a name amongst other things.  We constantly give and receive from each other.  We trust each other.  We are open with each other.  And I feel good about it and wouldn’t want it any other way.  I’m able to be in this kind of relationship now because of the work I did with myself before we even met.

If you know what I’m talking about and still long to be in the relationship of your dreams, then begin cultivating your feminine receptive qualities now. 

Practice a breathing meditation on being able to give and receive detailed here.

Notice and appreciate anything that others do for you, even if it’s at first just the person that makes your coffee.

Say thank you.

Ask someone for something (people love being able to help).

Ask the Universe or God for something (Source loves being able to help).

Gladly accept help.

If someone has been upsetting you and you haven’t told him or her, kindly say how you feel and ask for what you need instead.

Become aware of your inherent needs, ask for and expect them to be met.

As you begin to vibrate in this receptive place and bring this into balance with your strong, independent qualities you will become aware of all the love and support you have around you in your life and more ready to receive it.

Both your strong and receptive qualities are amazing and beautiful.  Having both allows a partner to come into your life that has both qualities as well.

Do you need help implementing these qualities to find balance in your life?  I’d be more than happy to give you a free 30-minute clarity coaching session to do just that (really, I’m very happy to do it).  Please contact me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.

With Love,

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Questions To Bring You Back To the Love You Want

“What you think about and focus on, you attract to you. When you focus on what you do want you attract it; when you focus on what you do not want, you attract it. It’s that simple.” ~ Eva Gregory

In my last post I talked about how the Law of Attraction won’t bring you what you want if you’re still thinking but mainly still feeling and vibrating in the place you don’t want to be.  Personally, I find this to be an ongoing adventure, shall we say, in my life.  It can be a challenge to switch my focus to what I do want when I first think of something I don’t want.

So here are three questions that have helped me and that can direct you back to thinking and feeling what you want in the area of love, along with some examples where they might be helpful.

1) Example situation – You are currently single and really want to find the meaningful relationship you’ve always wanted.  Question: What is it that I really do want instead of where I’m at now?  I want to be in a relationship with a man who loves me.  I want to have fun and go exciting places with him every weekend.  I want to be myself when I’m around him and know he loves me.

What is it that you really want?

2) Example situation – You find that it’s not hard to date or be in a relationship but past relationships haven’t been as loving as you know you truly desire and you’re tentative about getting into something new for fear it will turn out the same.  Question: Why do I want to be in the totally loving relationship I know I truly deserve now?  I want my partner and I to openly say how much we love each other every day.  I want to be supported and inspired in my life by a loving partner.  I’m ready to grow personally and spiritually in a way that only a partnership can do for me now.

Why do you want it?

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3) Example situation – You know deep down you want to find your partner but based on your past experiences you still feel a lot of anger and fear about the idea of being with someone.  Questions: How do I want to feel instead?  I want to feel excited about meeting my soul mate.  I want to feel totally loved.  I want to feel safe and secure no matter what happens.

How do you want to feel?

These simple questions allow you to openly wonder about what it is you want, and in that place you will start to feel and vibrate more habitually where you want to be.  Just like building muscles, it takes practice reverting to those questions and going back to what you want in order for it to feel more natural.  So be kind to your self in this process but mostly just have fun with it.

Have a joyous time celebrating what you want this week!

Lots of love,

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