Tag Archives: relationships

How Soon is Too Soon To Sleep Together When Dating?

She was an amazing woman and still felt obligated to sleep with men by the third date.

She was a client of mine earlier this year — gorgeous, intelligent, kind, with a prosperous and fulfilling career.  Yet she still didn’t think she had the option to wait to sleep with a guy until she was sure about him.

This broke my heart. It also breaks my heart because I know she’s far from the only one. And I remember my younger self buying into that as well.

So first let me just say this: you can sleep with a guy for the first time whenever you damn well please – be it the first date or on your honeymoon.

When he’s your soulmate, he will want it to be right for you.

So I felt inspired to tackle this topic and did some digging (ahem, Googling). I found out there’s been quite of bit of authoritative research about the optimal time to first hit the sack when dating for a serious relationship or marriage. 

In my latest blog post, When is the Right Time to Have Sex?, I share my client’s story and several pieces of scientific evidence that do say, yes, there is an ideal time for sleeping with someone you’re dating if seeking a lasting relationship. 

The results are fascinating, so check it out here.

Oh, and I know some of you are saying, “But my cousin slept with her husband on the first date and they’ve been happily married for 34 years!”

There are always exceptions to just about anything. But exceptions aren’t the rule or even the ideal. Check out what the research says about it here.

Happy holidays! May this season bring you many blessings and joy!

Online Dating Without Going Crazy

Dating Online Is Still an Amazing Way To Meet People

That being said, it can drive you crazy if you aren’t deliberate about it.

Over 7 years ago I met my husband online about 6 weeks after I signed up on the dating site.

Was I just lucky? Maybe.

But I also was very deliberate by following a few simple tips and cut through the riff-raff to get straight to the one.

In my blog post, Dating Online To Find Love Without Losing Your Mind, I highlight the exact steps and my mindset when I met my husband online.

Read all about them here.

How Do You Know If You’re Settling In Love?

“I Refuse To Settle In a Relationship.”

That’s a phrase I repeatedly hear from clients, women I know, and even myself once upon a time.

Of course, no one wants to settle in order to be in a relationship. But the more appropriate question to ask is: How do you know if you are settling?

What seems to happen is that when people think they aren’t settling in their relationship, they actually are.

Sure, they may have had fireworks, chemistry, and attraction in the beginning only to discover that over time they are subtly — and not so subtly — mistreated by their partner. And actually ended up settling for less just to maintain a fraction of the excitement that was present in the beginning.

In my latest blog post, 10 Signs You’re Settling In Your Relationship, I list the casual ways that many settle for less in their relationships while telling themselves they aren’t.

Are you settling for less in love?

Read all about the 10 signs at dinarobison.com here.

 

9 Ways TV and Movies Are Messing Up Your Love Life

Harmful Love and Relationship Myths Thanks To Entertainment

It’ s no secret that I believe the way entertainment portrays love and relationships is an enormous contributor to the limiting beliefs that make it challenging to find a soulmate.

Yes, I’m sure most people do consciously know they are watching fiction and that it isn’t “reality.” But what most don’t realize is that without a positive model of soulmate love growing up, what their mind absorbs becomes their reality of love.

And a compelling story combined with beautiful actors, a heart-stirring score, and stunning special effects has the power to profoundly affect our emotions and feelings about love. Additionally, with an ever-increasing trend towards violence and disturbing themes in entertainment, it’s more important than ever to be aware of these messages.

Every once in a while I bring this topic back to the forefront as I did in my latest blog post: Nine Harmful Love and Relationship Myths Courtesy of Popular Entertainment.

Check it out here to read the top myths the entertainment industry perpetuates that could be messing up your love life. Do you recognize any, or all, of them?

What’s She Got That I Don’t Have?

Confidence For Women

Mere minutes after I had just been wondering, “Wow, he is cute and really, really nice. Is he single?” his fiance walks up and he embraces and kisses her like he will never let her go.

He was the star of an off-off Broadway Shakespearean play – handsome, funny, intelligent, and gentlemanly. I was working admission for the play and beforehand we had started a friendly banter which prompted my fantasy of him being my boyfriend.

And then his fiance arrives with her family.

It was so obvious that he truly loved her and was thrilled about their upcoming wedding in two weeks, that I was quietly embarrassed about my earlier daydream. At the curtain call applause he even thanked her in front of the packed theater!

Was I jealous? Yes. Very much so.

But even better, I was curious. She didn’t seem extraordinary on the outside so I genuinely wanted to know her secret.

And as embarrassing as it is to admit it, at that time in my life that was only one of a handful of times I asked myself the question, “What does she have that I don’t have?”

In these cases the lady didn’t seem to be:

Extraordinarily attractive

Glamorous

Alluring or mysterious

Successful or rich

Bubbling with vivaciousness

or

Anything else that I believed men couldn’t resist.

And it took a few more years and a ton of inner work for me to figure out that this kind of woman, that a man wholeheartedly loves and commits to, is so full of self-love and self-respect that she is able to mirror that love back to her man and he is able to mirror it back to her.

She is a confident and whole woman so she does not require her man to “do” anything for her approval or love.

And it took another 3 years for me to stop chasing confidence on the outside and to start living it from the inside – and inspire the love from my husband-to-be that I witnessed that actor had for his fiance.

In the Confidence For Women: Inner Radiance For Living Your Purpose course there are 11 simple yet effective exercises designed to help you consciously and naturally improve your self-esteem, self-love, and confidence for anything you want to accomplish in your life – including attracting your soulmate.

And it’s on sale for only $9.99 (regularly $39.99) through the end of this weekend 3/11!

Preview the first two lectures for free right here – including The Truth About How the Media Diminishes Confidence In Women right here.

Oh, and if you get the course you have lifetime access to the material and the Q & A discussion board, plus a 30 day money-back guarantee if you don’t like it for any reason.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to look back a year from now and be that woman you’ve been wondering, “What does she have that I don’t” about?

I hope to see you there, and have an amazing weekend!

Love,

Dina Robison

Can You Make a Certain Person Love You?

So you’ve got a crush, an infatuation with a particular man. Maybe you even had a relationship with him.

But, for whatever reason that only has to do with him, he doesn’t want to be with you. Can you make him change his mind?

The short answer…No. Sorry.

I wish I could tell you otherwise because that might be what you want to hear but I didn’t become a soulmate attraction coach to encourage you to contort yourself into a frenzy to get the attention of one man who probably will never love you and isn’t worthy of 1% of your love.

Did I just say that?

Yeah, I did. And I apologize if that stings.

Unfortunately, we can never control other people and what they do. But here’s what you can do…

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  1. You can use the sting of his unrequited love as inspiration for you to get very clear on what you do want in life now and find the man that does love you.

  2. You can meditate on what it is that you’re so attracted to in him. When I last had this happen in 2009 I asked myself, “What was it that I felt he gave me that I so desperately wanted?” The answer inspired me to make the big change in my life that ultimately led me to my soulmate.

  3. You can discover how you imagine you would feel in partnership with this man, why the idea of it is so appealing to you, but now focus on finding the man that really wants to you make you feel that way.

Having a broken or hurting heart can be a powerful jumping off point for going down a new path to the real soulmate relationship you are meant to be in.

This is why so many find their partner following a big heartbreak. The desire to find real love became so strong with a broken heart that the clarity for the love they wanted drew it in.

So if you are ready to attract your real, soulmate partner then please take advantage of my $9.99 blowout on both of my courses, Dating Deliberately To Attract Love and Deliberately Attract Your Soulmate through 2/14, Valentine’s Day.

Dating Deliberately To Attract Love prepares you to get out and date again with clarity, intention, and deliberate action steps to date in a new way and specifically attract a soulmate partner.

“The material is easily presented, straight and to the point. Really helps someone who wants to know how to apply clarity and direction to focusing their dating life know how to do it! To learn from past relationship mistakes and move on.” – Holli

Grab Dating Deliberately here for $9.99 before the coupon comes down on 2/15!

Deliberately Attract Your Soulmate is an in-depth journey to heal the past, break repeating relationship patterns, create love in your present life, and attract your soulmate love.

“I am loving your program! Even though I’ve done tons of hypnosis/mediation before this program and lots of internal work I am really loving your program/ visualizations – especially the future vision of seeing your partner.. It is really one of my favourite programs that I have done.” – Tarryn

Grab Deliberately Attract Your Soulmate here for $9.99 before the coupon comes down on 2/15!

Each course comes with my ongoing online support and a 30 Day money-back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied for any reason.

I hope to see you there…

Lots of Love,

Dina Robison

Deliberate Soulmate Attraction Coaching Session…On Me!

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could have a deliberate attraction coaching session with me, fully focused on you and no time spent telling you about my coaching packages, but have someone else pay for it?

 

Well, you can…yay!

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You see I would LOVE your thoughts about online course sites and taking online courses for personal development and self growth.

 

So anyone that completes my current survey by Friday 2/16 at 6pm PST will be entered to win 1 of 3 complimentary deliberate attraction coaching sessions with me ($125 value), plus one winner will also get a $25 Amazon gift card.

 

The survey is only 10 questions and should take an average of 3 minutes to complete. Your email will be entered and selected by random drawing (by a randomizer website) to win. The prizes are:

 

1 winner will get a $25 Amazon gift card plus a complimentary deliberate attraction session.

 

2 winners will get a complimentary deliberate attraction session.

 

A session will be treated just like you paid in full, totally focused on you so you get the coaching you need in that time. A recording of the session for your use will be included for you.

 

Entries must be received by 2/16 at 6pm PST. Winners will be notified on Monday 2/19.

 

So if you have a few minutes, please take the survey on online course sites here >>> https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/75P3GVC

 

Thank you so much and I look forward to your responses…

Love,

Dina Robison

This Popular Personal Growth Philosophy May Not Be Helping You Manifest Love Now

Warning: This is just another opinion, or philosophy, and may not necessarily be yours.  As always, listen to your heart and be true to yourself.  🙂

There is a popular idea in personal growth with a huge following (and believe me I read and enjoyed the books, too) that may not be helping you manifest the love and life you really want.  That idea is that you will be at peace if you just be in the NOW.

Don’t get me wrong, practicing being in the now is a very beneficial tool and practice.  As a yogini, I use the tools of concentration and meditation on a daily basis to be present (which isn’t the same as being in the now, I’ll explain).  Concentration and meditation has changed my life, calmed my emotions, and helped clear my mind.  I intend to practice it for the rest of my life.

But can you realistically be in the now when you have had past heartbreaks and limiting beliefs created from them?  Or can you be in the now when you make appointments, pay bills, and make choices for your future?  We cannot live only in the now.  The past and the future is always in our present, informing this moment.  We are present when what we perceive as now is in total alignment with our past and our future.  My coach likened this to an infinity symbol – the point in the middle being the present and the two loops representing the past and the future.

1125831_90405437“Time has no independent existence apart from the order of events by which we measure it.”  – Albert Einstein

So assuming (and I have to assume because my analytical mind cannot grasp it) that this is true then everything that occurred in your past and everything you imagine for your future is determining exactly what you’re experiencing right now.  This is mind-blowing to consider if you want to find the relationship of your dreams or manifest anything in your life.  After all, if it’s in your dreams and it’s in your future – that must be where you’re headed, right?

So what can you do to align your past and future with what you want to experience presently? 

–       Use your imagination.  Reframe and transmute energy from past relationship experiences into the energy you want to be in now.  A few questions you might ask are, “How has this event made me the woman I am presently?” and “What do I really want now instead?” You can also re-write your relationship story to be the way you want it to be.

–       Connect with your future self.  Imagine how your life will be 5 years from now with your soul mate, and for the rest of your life.  See yourself as an old woman having lived the purposeful life of your dreams.  See how being with your ideal partner changed the life you have yet to live.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein

Do you question whether simply imaging something is effective or real?  Then ask yourself, “Was there something that has happened in my life that was just a dream in my mind before?”  I’m guessing yes.  So dreaming and imagining has worked for you before.  If all time is present then the very thoughts you have “now” are creating your reality – past, present and future.  So be present with them all and let them represent the life and love that you want to have.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Anita Moorjani, who in her book Dying to Be Me details her near death experience and explains that our concept of time is simply an illusion.

“Since the tapestry of all time has already been woven, everything I could ever want to happen in my life already exists in that infinite, nonphysical plane. My only task is to expand my earthly self enough to let it into this realm. So if there’s something I desire, the idea isn’t to go out and get it, but to expand my own consciousness to allow universal energy to bring it into my reality here.”Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

With Love and Joy,

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How the Couples You See in Entertainment Affect the Relationship You Attract

A few weeks ago a friend mentioned to me that when she was a child watching the Flintstones, for some reason, made her sad.  At first, I thought, that’s strange.  Then she explained it’s because it always felt really intense to her, like everyone was mad at each other all of the time.  Then I remembered that the Flintstones was the children’s equivalent to The Honeymooners.  You know the – “One of these days, POW right in the kisser!” – Honeymooners.  It makes perfect sense why the Flintstones would be sad for a child to see, and the Honeymooners sad for adults to see.

Over the years there have been countless sitcoms, films and even cartoons (!!) depicting couples as constantly bickering, complaining about and fighting with each other.  Over the decades the fighting has evolved from threats of physical violence, to hysteric yelling, to nasty insults, and to now what seems to be childish rants against each other.  I rarely watch television anymore but recently I watched a comedy show about a married couple only because a friend of mine was guest starring on it, unfortunately not until the very end.  It was the last time I would watch it because the main stars (who I like as performers) were constantly hurling mean insults back and forth like 3rd graders (really mean ones that is) at a playground…for the duration.  Somehow this is supposed to be funny.

As a kid that watched a lot of television growing up, I actually believed this to be the norm – which reminds me of Norm on Cheers, another man always displeased with his wife.  These fictional characters were a big part of my energetic influence and I unknowingly took on the belief that men and women cannot be happy in marriage, or together at all.  I took on the belief that men and women that cared about each other showed it by fighting with each other and insulting each other.  Those beliefs resulted in my early relationships centering on verbal abuse and fighting.

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Of course we can say that it’s just TV or a movie, it isn’t real, but doesn’t our mainstream entertainment “normalize” what we see?  Everything is energy, so if we aren’t conscious can’t we easily take on the energy of our favorite entertainment?  Similarly to what I mentioned in the posts about male and female characters, the character of the “couple” in media has gotten further and further away from the soul mate relationship that I, and I assume you if you’re reading this, want to be in.

So what can you do?  Ask yourself what do you really want your relationship to be like?  Not what you think you can or cannot have based on what you see, but what do you really want?  Write it down.  Talk it out with a friend.  If you’re a creative type, write a story or a script on it. 

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What else is helpful to raise your energy to that of the relationship you desire?  Change the channel.  Shut off the TV.  Seek out media with couples that are like the soul mate relationship you want to have (recently I enjoyed Date Night and Up).  Support those that are making the kind of entertainment that is positively feeding your soul and your partnership. 

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There is a new paradigm for our partnerships that is coming forward now to be the norm.  It isn’t that of our parents and grandparents who largely depended on each other in marriage.  New partnerships are based on mutual respect, support, interdependence and love.  Our partnership supports our spiritual growth individually and as a couple.  I’ll even be so bold as to say this partnership supports the evolution of the collective consciousness and the entire planet. 

The sooner that kind of partnership can be reflected in our entertainment, the sooner it can be reflected in partnerships across the globe.

What is your favorite couple in entertainment?  I’m always on the look out for positive and uplifting shows to watch, so please let me know.

With Love,

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