Tag Archives: Strong Woman

The Catch 22 of Being an Independent Woman

I’m an independent and strong woman and all of my life have admired women and female characters that aren’t afraid to be alone and can take care of themselves.  Those are beautiful qualities for anyone to have and I do believe it’s essential to know how to be alone and happy before attempting to be happy in a relationship with another.

However, after over 33 years of living my strong-willed and independent life, I wondered why I was still alone.  Actually, I didn’t wonder very long because it became blatantly obvious that I had cultivated the idea, energy and feeling of being independent, strong and alone for so long that I didn’t know how to live any other way.

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In all of my years of living, dating and being in relationships (romantic or otherwise) I never learned how to receive from, ask for help from, trust in, and share with another person.  It was something I thought I’d never have to do but in order to be in the relationship of my dreams I knew I had to cultivate to these qualities and feelings – and learn to enjoy them.  If I wanted a partner that had these qualities then I needed to be this way, too.

Does this sound familiar to you?  Can you relate to this?

It took a couple of years of inner work and some discomfort with the change, but now I’m in the marriage of my dreams.  We share a home, a bank account and a name amongst other things.  We constantly give and receive from each other.  We trust each other.  We are open with each other.  And I feel good about it and wouldn’t want it any other way.  I’m able to be in this kind of relationship now because of the work I did with myself before we even met.

If you know what I’m talking about and still long to be in the relationship of your dreams, then begin cultivating your feminine receptive qualities now. 

Practice a breathing meditation on being able to give and receive detailed here.

Notice and appreciate anything that others do for you, even if it’s at first just the person that makes your coffee.

Say thank you.

Ask someone for something (people love being able to help).

Ask the Universe or God for something (Source loves being able to help).

Gladly accept help.

If someone has been upsetting you and you haven’t told him or her, kindly say how you feel and ask for what you need instead.

Become aware of your inherent needs, ask for and expect them to be met.

As you begin to vibrate in this receptive place and bring this into balance with your strong, independent qualities you will become aware of all the love and support you have around you in your life and more ready to receive it.

Both your strong and receptive qualities are amazing and beautiful.  Having both allows a partner to come into your life that has both qualities as well.

Do you need help implementing these qualities to find balance in your life?  I’d be more than happy to give you a free 30-minute clarity coaching session to do just that (really, I’m very happy to do it).  Please contact me at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.

With Love,

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Romancing with Deliberate Attraction versus Default Attraction

What is deliberate attraction?  The name is a reference to the Abraham-Hicks materials on Law of Attraction where they talk about the Law of Deliberate Creation.  You can watch a brief video with Esther Hicks talking about creating deliberately here.  In short, when we are intending to deliberately attract something into our lives we must first come into the feeling, energy, vibration or alignment of what it is that we truly want by focusing on what we want.

For example, when I was younger I wanted a man to come into my life and love me dearly and want to marry me.  I thought if I waited around long enough it would happen eventually.  The thought alone of my desire was not enough to make it happen. Truthfully, it was so out of alignment with my energy back then for many reasons; the idea of marriage scared me, I was fearful of getting hurt, I didn’t trust someone to be there for me and love me, and my heart was closed to giving and receiving love.  As a result, the relationships I was attracting by default were based in fear and neediness, which was just a reflection of my own energy at that time.  It never ended well needless to say.

This kind of default attraction is what most of us do in life because we weren’t taught to deliberately create our reality as a child.  There’s a lot of media (books, movies, TV, and dating advice columns) that encourages romance by default – like the notion of falling in love by locking eyes across a crowded room.  For the record, I do not recommend choosing anything, especially your life partner, by default attraction.  Default attraction happens when you haven’t thought in advance what you want in a relationship (it’s so important to know that) or what you value and are just “waiting” for the right one to come along, when you’re physically attracted to someone and just go for it, or just accept being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you would like.

And please don’t feel bad if you’ve done this.  I operated this way for most of my life and we are literally encouraged to act this way by popular entertainment.  If you’re feeling bad about it then know that is just your higher self telling you that it’s time to change and attract deliberately!

So in deliberate attraction, we clarify want we want and get into the good feeling space (or energy, vibration, etc.) of what it is we do want – not what we’re afraid of happening.  This can happen quickly or may take more time depending on the amount of negative energy someone has around what they desire.  What is the result of deliberately attracting our soul mate instead of mating by default?

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From my own personal experience I can honestly tell you that when I took deliberate charge of my love life, these were the results:

I had clarity and KNEW the type of man I would end up with in advance

It took the mystery and guessing games out of dating

I felt in charge and confident going on dates

I never felt pressured to have sex

I didn’t play into or focus on the undesirable behavior of anyone around me

I could be honest about what I wanted with others

I didn’t waste time with men that weren’t in alignment with me

The men I did meet, whether there was interest or not, respected me and were very nice

After only seven weeks of dating online with deliberate intent, I met the love of my life

Dating him felt good and was joyful

He is exactly the kind of man I deliberately wanted to draw into my life

Though we aren’t perfect people :), our marriage feels great and wonderful every day

Living deliberately in this way is a choice we can make every day with decisions big and small, beginning with our thoughts and intentions.  As strong women in this day and age it’s more important than ever to choose our love based on good feelings and that’s in alignment with our highest self, or God or Spirit.  Our partner must support the best woman we are capable of being.  Looking back I can’t believe I ever accepted less than that and I hope no woman feels she has to settle for less again.

black-87853_1920 In my next post I’ll give you three ways that you can begin deliberately attracting the love you want now!

For now I’d love your comments – Which goals or achievements in your life do you feel you created deliberately?  How do you feel when you think of those things?

With my heart full of love,

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