Tag Archives: Thought

How the Men You See in Entertainment Affects Whom You Attract & How to Change It

A few weeks ago I saw the #1 comedy in America in the theater, which I won’t bother to name.  It had a few funny moments and featured some talented actors – the point of this article isn’t to bash the movie, I knew what I was getting into.  But I left the theater feeling grossed out and sad about the vision of what it means to be a man that a movie like that sends to both female and male viewers.  This vision is of a man that does drugs (a LOT), plays video games all day, speaks in sexual innuendos (a LOT), and only mentions women in the context of pornography or rape – both of which are not funny in the slightest. 

This got me thinking about other prominent male characters in mass entertainment: the good looking but totally ruthless and emotionless assassin, the hunky player that “changes” for the girl next door, the mysterious super hero that fights and kills bad guys who usually likes a girl but he can never be around, the “messed up” guy that’s getting over his issues, and the profanity blazing and drug using but lovable oaf type (he also might change for a girl). 

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Everything is energy.  What we see, hear, taste, touch, smell, and sense is energy that we are taking in and that is affecting our thoughts and beliefs.  Our thoughts and beliefs affect our feelings, which then affects what energy we are being/living and radiating out.  Because the law of attraction is always working that energy brings to us in our physical world things that match that energy.  Do you see where I’m going with this?

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So if you continuously see images of men in entertainment (and I love going to the movies, too, so this was a challenge for me) that are mean, violent, crude, sick, a total player, and downright disrespectful to women – and most popular movies nowadays feature such men – then it will affect your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and energy towards men and relationships.  But you have the choice to believe and think what you want about men and relationships.

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So what can you do? 

1) Look for images of men that represent the type of man you would want to marry.  The type of man that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with.  The type of man that cares about you and cares about the world.  The type of man that loves children and would never hurt anyone.  Okay, I’ll move on before I get too excited myself here….

What qualities do you want in YOUR man? 

2) Focus your attention on those qualities as you find evidence of them.  Notice men like him in movies, books, pictures, and in real life, of course.  What you focus on expands. 

How do you want to feel in your relationship? 

3) Look for entertainment that gives you the good feelings you want in your life. Notice how you feel when you do watch a male character.  If it doesn’t feel good to you, recognize that it’s just entertainment and not reality.  Look for movies and shows featuring males with good qualities that you love.  My husband and I are always looking for more positive and uplifting movies and shows to watch, and more and more are being produced thanks to great organizations like the Global Alliance for Transformational Entertainment. 

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Don’t let someone else’s idea of entertainment define your relationship story.  You get to write your own story.  And if you come across any great movies or shows that are uplifting and positive, please let me know by commenting or at dinarobisoncoaching at gmail dot com.  I’m always on the look out for them!

Next week – How the Women You See in Entertainment Affects Whom You Attract 🙂  Until then…

With Love & Light,

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Your Mind Obsessing About What You Don’t Want In Love? Three Ways to Turn it Around

You find that you have a very large organ called a brain.  It thinks.  It thinks a lot.  And if you’re a very intelligent person it thinks a whole lot.  And if you’re a very intelligent woman it probably thinks about a whole lot of different things at the same time.  There was a joke going around Facebook about that – something to effect of, “Imagine having your browser with 3,467 tabs open all at once.  That’s what it’s like to be in a woman’s head.” 

I thought that was funny because I can so totally relate.  And I wouldn’t really want to change much; I love my creativity and analytical mind.  But with some, or a lot of, practice I’ve trained myself to rein in my obsessive mind when I need to.

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You see our wonderfully creative and multi-tasking minds are great for some things but when our thoughts turn into feelings about our love life that bog us down then we begin attracting exactly what we don’t want into our lives.  Our predominating feelings and energy matches exactly what we’re attracting in.  So it’s very beneficial to have tools for noticing when you’re thinking and vibrating where you don’t want to be, to rein it in, and to go back to what you want.

Here are a few techniques for anyone wanting to take charge of their life in spite of what your habitual mind is telling you –

–       Begin a silent meditation practice.  This can start out just 5 minutes a day and go up to as long as you have time for.  Begin by concentrating on one thing – your breathing, a word or short phrase (a mantra), or your spiritual center between your eyebrows.  If your mind wanders, just simply bring it back to your point of focus.  This will help you to become more present and aware when your mind is going somewhere not productive for you.

–       If you find that you’re having a conversation with yourself (and I do, often) that is unpleasant, turn it into a conversation of gratitude.  Thank the Universe or God or Source for all the good things that have come your way.

–       Get those thoughts out in a productive way – call a friend, write it in a journal, talk to a coach or counselor.  The other person is only to listen to you.  I find that the thoughts are way more interesting and elaborate and scary in my head but after I voice them they lose their power and drama.  They lose their realness.

Implementing one or all three of these techniques can really change your relationship to how much power your habitual thinking has over your life.  And then from there you can bring your thoughts and feelings back to the vibration of where you want your life and relationships to be instead.

Do you have any other tips, tricks or tools that work well for you?  I’d love to know, please share.

Have a joyous and peaceful weekend!

Lots of Love,

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Romancing with Deliberate Attraction versus Default Attraction

What is deliberate attraction?  The name is a reference to the Abraham-Hicks materials on Law of Attraction where they talk about the Law of Deliberate Creation.  You can watch a brief video with Esther Hicks talking about creating deliberately here.  In short, when we are intending to deliberately attract something into our lives we must first come into the feeling, energy, vibration or alignment of what it is that we truly want by focusing on what we want.

For example, when I was younger I wanted a man to come into my life and love me dearly and want to marry me.  I thought if I waited around long enough it would happen eventually.  The thought alone of my desire was not enough to make it happen. Truthfully, it was so out of alignment with my energy back then for many reasons; the idea of marriage scared me, I was fearful of getting hurt, I didn’t trust someone to be there for me and love me, and my heart was closed to giving and receiving love.  As a result, the relationships I was attracting by default were based in fear and neediness, which was just a reflection of my own energy at that time.  It never ended well needless to say.

This kind of default attraction is what most of us do in life because we weren’t taught to deliberately create our reality as a child.  There’s a lot of media (books, movies, TV, and dating advice columns) that encourages romance by default – like the notion of falling in love by locking eyes across a crowded room.  For the record, I do not recommend choosing anything, especially your life partner, by default attraction.  Default attraction happens when you haven’t thought in advance what you want in a relationship (it’s so important to know that) or what you value and are just “waiting” for the right one to come along, when you’re physically attracted to someone and just go for it, or just accept being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you would like.

And please don’t feel bad if you’ve done this.  I operated this way for most of my life and we are literally encouraged to act this way by popular entertainment.  If you’re feeling bad about it then know that is just your higher self telling you that it’s time to change and attract deliberately!

So in deliberate attraction, we clarify want we want and get into the good feeling space (or energy, vibration, etc.) of what it is we do want – not what we’re afraid of happening.  This can happen quickly or may take more time depending on the amount of negative energy someone has around what they desire.  What is the result of deliberately attracting our soul mate instead of mating by default?

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From my own personal experience I can honestly tell you that when I took deliberate charge of my love life, these were the results:

I had clarity and KNEW the type of man I would end up with in advance

It took the mystery and guessing games out of dating

I felt in charge and confident going on dates

I never felt pressured to have sex

I didn’t play into or focus on the undesirable behavior of anyone around me

I could be honest about what I wanted with others

I didn’t waste time with men that weren’t in alignment with me

The men I did meet, whether there was interest or not, respected me and were very nice

After only seven weeks of dating online with deliberate intent, I met the love of my life

Dating him felt good and was joyful

He is exactly the kind of man I deliberately wanted to draw into my life

Though we aren’t perfect people :), our marriage feels great and wonderful every day

Living deliberately in this way is a choice we can make every day with decisions big and small, beginning with our thoughts and intentions.  As strong women in this day and age it’s more important than ever to choose our love based on good feelings and that’s in alignment with our highest self, or God or Spirit.  Our partner must support the best woman we are capable of being.  Looking back I can’t believe I ever accepted less than that and I hope no woman feels she has to settle for less again.

black-87853_1920 In my next post I’ll give you three ways that you can begin deliberately attracting the love you want now!

For now I’d love your comments – Which goals or achievements in your life do you feel you created deliberately?  How do you feel when you think of those things?

With my heart full of love,

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