Tag Archives: vibration

Attracting the Same Type of Guy Over and Over? Here’s How To Take Charge and Change It

“I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.” ~ Wayne Dyer

If you’ve been dating for a while and/or have had multiple relationships you may have noticed a similarity or two (or more) amongst the men you are attracting into your love life.  It can be frustrating to say the least because at the beginning it may seem like this guy is totally and completely different than the last but as time goes on the same characteristics, and possibly the same annoyances, start to pop up.

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I can relate. This was happening with me until one day I had enough and decided to get off that seemingly endless wheel of disappointment.  I took a sabbatical from dating to figure out why I was attracting and was attracted to such similar men, and how to attract someone I could really build my life with.

There were three fundamental truths about attraction and the Law of Attraction that I came to know during this time that I hope can shed some light on this for you:

1)    You are not a victim to whom you attract into your life.  Attraction is a two way street – if you are attracting someone, it means you are also attracted to him.  It is your attraction for each other that brings you together.

2)    It’s essential that you bring your awareness to what you want to attract instead.  If you are obsessing about the way things have been or could have been then energetically you’re still holding that in your life.

3)    Like the Wayne Dyer quote above – your energy, vibration, beliefs, and being matches that of whom you’re attracting.  Yep, it’s hard to admit or fathom, but it’s true.  You are attracting the people into the life you do because of your own vibration.  Now, this isn’t so you can blame yourself or anybody else as we all are doing the same thing all the time.  But it’s a wonderful opportunity to become aware, learn and grow.

So now what do you do?  Here’s what I did with much success and you can, too, to change this pattern:

1)    Acknowledge how you were benefiting from attracting those guys into your life and acknowledge that you no longer need that benefit and that you are willing to change your self.  Awareness is the first step to breaking a pattern.

2)    Ask yourself, “What do I want instead?”  Write down all of the qualities, values and traits that you would like to have in a partner instead.  Also, write down the qualities, values and traits that you would like in your ideal relationship.  If you can’t help but think of an icky trait of an ex, then just write down what the opposite of that trait is.  Do this until you have a clear picture of the type of person you intend to attract from now on.

3)    Grow your Self, “change” what you Are.  Yes, be your Self but until you are a match for the type of person you really want in your life, you will keep attracting what you attracted before.  With deliberate attraction this is more about revealing your authentic Self rather than simply changing or acting differently.  A couple of questions to get your started – ask yourself, “What kind of woman do I need to be to attract and be in a relationship with this type of man?” and, “What do I need to believe in order to attract and be with this type of man?”  Your answers will give you a lot of direction for where you want to be and need to be before you enter in to your next relationship.

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This can be a painfully truthful yet very liberating process to go through.  However, if you really want to deliberately attract your ideal partner it is essential to take these steps before beginning the dating process again to avoid getting into the same relationship with the same type of guy.  When your energy has changed to match the person and relationship you truly desire you cannot help but attract the right man to you!

I hope you find this inspiring and helpful.  I’d love to read your comments, so please leave them below!  And if you enjoyed this article and resonate with the message please share with the social media buttons below.

Love & Light,

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How Dating Games and Rules Are Blocking Your Potential For Soul Mate Love

Last week I heard a money mindset tip from a coach that went, “It’s easier to make lots of money than it is to make a little money.”  At first it sounds backwards and whether you believe that or not is okay, but as soon as I heard that it resonated as completely true for me.  Why?  Because it’s exactly the same concept (after all everything is energy) that I coach my clients on about love.

Attracting and being in your ideal relationship is so much easier than being in default one.

This truth is why I’m so inspired to help women attract the love they always wanted because it’s so EASY and feels GREAT.  No more banging your head against the wall wondering if he’s serious about you or if he’s going to decide to commit.  No biting your lip in fear that if you express your feelings to him he will run off.

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Actually, your soul mate feels the same way about you as you do about him and the whole process just flows and it can flow rather quickly if that’s what you desire.

The other night I was skimming through some dating advice articles from major magazines and online newspapers; I was horrified that what’s promoted as the popular, mainstream belief is that dating and relationships are a struggle and sacrifice.  That a woman shouldn’t express how she’s feeling too soon even if she is physically intimate with her man (HUH?), that she shouldn’t complain (holding in her feelings will passively come out in complaints, btw), and that she should just focus on having fun (somewhat agree depending on what fun means).

Well, would that feel good to you in a relationship?  Does being anything other than being your Self and expressing your feelings of love feel like a good relationship to you?  Does not getting the love and commitment you desire sound like it would be fun after a while?

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If you are so done with dating (like I was when I attracted my husband) and are ready to attract your soul mate then there is something you need to know:

Behaviors, games, tactics, and “rules” that have you being anything other than your Self will attract the wrong man to you.  Period. 

Authentic, honest expression of who you are as a woman and knowing what’s important to you in your life and in your relationship will attract the right man to you. 

So this brings us to why soul mate love is so easy; because you get to totally be your self and be up front about what you’re looking for.  What a relief!  Anyone who doesn’t match that won’t be a time and energy drain.  And when you deliberately attract your partner it will be because he wants the very same things you do and he’s just as ready as you are for love.  You will know sooner that you are right for each other and should marriage be on your minds, that will happen sooner, too, as it did for myself and other couples I know.

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So when you read any dating advice, including this, please check in with your self.  Does it feel true and good to you?

“Learn to guide your thoughts in the direction of things that feel good, and discover the power that only comes from vibrational alignment with Source.” ~ Abraham–Hicks

If you enjoyed this article and you resonate with the message, please share with the buttons below or comment.  Let’s spread the word about authentic and loving relationships!

Lovingly & Truthfully Yours,

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More on Why the Law of Attraction Doesn’t Seem to Work – To Love or To Avoid Pain

Have you experienced really wanting something, using what you think is the law of attraction (thinking about what you want) and then getting what seems to be the opposite?

When we diligently think we apply the law of attraction to our love lives and don’t get the relationship we want an easy response might be to blame the logic behind it saying things like, “That’s just woo woo, it’s not science” or, “Some people are just lucky” or, “It’s just not meant to be for me.”

Let me tell you, the quantum physicists know the science behind it – along with studies to back it up, it isn’t luck unless you believe you make your own, and your highest desires are absolutely meant for you to have.  The law of attraction is always working in the same way that the law of gravity is always working.  So why wouldn’t you still have the relationship of your dreams if you’re constantly thinking about the love that you want?

One reason, as stated in my earlier post on this topic, is that even though you might be thinking about wanting one thing it might not actually feel good to you due to limiting beliefs.  Your feelings, or vibration, are actually what’s doing the attracting (your thoughts can only contribute to the feelings).  You must get your good feelings aligned with the relationship you desire.

love-107227 Another reason, and the whole point of this article, is that your reasons – your big WHY – you want to be with the love of your life might be causing you to feel bad unknowingly.  If you enter a relationship to avoid some kind of pain (like being alone), you are only affirming the pain (the loneliness that you feel).   It’s all about feelings.  Do you want a relationship for reasons that feel good or reasons that feel bad to you?

Some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm negative feelings:

–       To avoid being alone. (Affirms and attracts more loneliness.)

–       To avoid the pain of a recent loss. (Affirms and attracts the pain of the loss.)

–       To be validated in any way by this person.  (Affirms and attracts that you are not enough and need validation.)

–       To get satisfied or gratified.  (Affirms and attracts dissatisfaction.)

In my younger days I unknowingly entered relationships for all of these reasons, and almost as quickly exited the relationship feeling worse.  So I finally took some time alone to bring my feelings and vibration up to speed with the love I truly desired for marriage before dating again.

Do you see how going into dating or a relationship while holding on to the vibration of what you don’t want actually attracts more of this to you?  This is why when I work with clients we get the vibration and good feelings up to match the relationship she desires first before we work on magnetizing her soul mate.

Now some examples of common reasons to be in a relationship that affirm delicious, good feelings:

–       To expand my capacity to love another and myself.  (Affirms and attracts love.)

–       To learn to receive love and care from another.  (Affirms and attracts love and caring.)

–       To have children and expand our family.  (Affirms and attracts love, expansion, and abundance.)

–       To grow spiritually.  (Affirms and attracts spiritual growth.)

–       To support each other on our soul’s journey.  (Affirms and attracts support.)

Do you see how these reasons affirm the positive and what you want to have with your partner?  Coming from this perspective now the law of attraction can actually bring you what it is you want in a love relationship because you are affirming and building on those wonderful good feelings and good vibrations that you really want.

My challenge to you is to ask yourself – why do I want to meet the love of my life now?  Find as many good feeling reasons as you can as to why this would mean so much to you in your life now.

The great news is that the law of attraction is always working and your good feelings are your guide to consciously bringing in what you desire.

With Love and Joy,

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What If Your Soul Mate Hasn’t Come Along and What To Do Now

Recently on my blog and in social media I’ve been seeing women post about the dilemma of really wanting to attract their soul mate, doing a lot of various manifesting work in that area, and then becoming very disappointed when their soul mate doesn’t appear in their life.  Yes, I totally agree that it’s heartbreaking to really want something and not have it pan out the way I wanted it to.

There could be countless reasons as to why this might be which may include but are not limited to:

The time isn’t ideal right now.

Your inner vibration is not up to speed with the vibration of what you’re wanting to attract into your life.

You may be ready but your soul mate may not be.

You might have limiting beliefs still overriding your belief in receiving your desire.

You may not fully trust that it’s going to happen.

Unbeknownst to you – you might not be allowing it to come into your life.

Your desire for a mate might be coming from a covetous, lower vibration that may not be in your highest interest.

And other countless possibilities.

All of these applied to me at some point in my journey for love.  Go inside and ask yourself – what is the reason my love hasn’t manifested in my physical life yet?  It’s nice to acknowledge and understand the reasons but that isn’t the most important part, which is…

To then get on with your life.  Remember the soul qualities and values I talked about in my last post on deliberate attraction?  Live in that place now.  Live the life that you want to share with your soul mate even though he isn’t here with you physically yet.  That is trust – truly knowing and believing that you will have your desire before it is physically present in your life.

Those last few months right before I met my husband I clearly recall shifting into that zone of trust and allowing.  I had no doubt in my mind that I would meet him very soon.  I took actions, like joining an online dating site, but was relaxed about the result.  Even if I didn’t meet him soon it was okay because I was enjoying my life anyway.  The desire to meet him and knowing I would was still very much there but I didn’t need to meet him to be living the life I wanted.  Does that make sense?  Are you willing to make that shift, too?

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So what can you do now in your life that will nurture your soul qualities?  What can you do now that represents your highest values?  What can you do now that feeds your personality and energy?  What physical actions can you take that is in alignment with these qualities? 

I hope you find this to be helpful and maybe a little fun, too.  As Abraham-Hicks always gently reminds their readers, we are too serious and need to just have more fun on this journey!

As always I’d love to read to your thoughts and appreciate your comments.

Always Love,

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Your Mind Obsessing About What You Don’t Want In Love? Three Ways to Turn it Around

You find that you have a very large organ called a brain.  It thinks.  It thinks a lot.  And if you’re a very intelligent person it thinks a whole lot.  And if you’re a very intelligent woman it probably thinks about a whole lot of different things at the same time.  There was a joke going around Facebook about that – something to effect of, “Imagine having your browser with 3,467 tabs open all at once.  That’s what it’s like to be in a woman’s head.” 

I thought that was funny because I can so totally relate.  And I wouldn’t really want to change much; I love my creativity and analytical mind.  But with some, or a lot of, practice I’ve trained myself to rein in my obsessive mind when I need to.

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You see our wonderfully creative and multi-tasking minds are great for some things but when our thoughts turn into feelings about our love life that bog us down then we begin attracting exactly what we don’t want into our lives.  Our predominating feelings and energy matches exactly what we’re attracting in.  So it’s very beneficial to have tools for noticing when you’re thinking and vibrating where you don’t want to be, to rein it in, and to go back to what you want.

Here are a few techniques for anyone wanting to take charge of their life in spite of what your habitual mind is telling you –

–       Begin a silent meditation practice.  This can start out just 5 minutes a day and go up to as long as you have time for.  Begin by concentrating on one thing – your breathing, a word or short phrase (a mantra), or your spiritual center between your eyebrows.  If your mind wanders, just simply bring it back to your point of focus.  This will help you to become more present and aware when your mind is going somewhere not productive for you.

–       If you find that you’re having a conversation with yourself (and I do, often) that is unpleasant, turn it into a conversation of gratitude.  Thank the Universe or God or Source for all the good things that have come your way.

–       Get those thoughts out in a productive way – call a friend, write it in a journal, talk to a coach or counselor.  The other person is only to listen to you.  I find that the thoughts are way more interesting and elaborate and scary in my head but after I voice them they lose their power and drama.  They lose their realness.

Implementing one or all three of these techniques can really change your relationship to how much power your habitual thinking has over your life.  And then from there you can bring your thoughts and feelings back to the vibration of where you want your life and relationships to be instead.

Do you have any other tips, tricks or tools that work well for you?  I’d love to know, please share.

Have a joyous and peaceful weekend!

Lots of Love,

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Questions To Bring You Back To the Love You Want

“What you think about and focus on, you attract to you. When you focus on what you do want you attract it; when you focus on what you do not want, you attract it. It’s that simple.” ~ Eva Gregory

In my last post I talked about how the Law of Attraction won’t bring you what you want if you’re still thinking but mainly still feeling and vibrating in the place you don’t want to be.  Personally, I find this to be an ongoing adventure, shall we say, in my life.  It can be a challenge to switch my focus to what I do want when I first think of something I don’t want.

So here are three questions that have helped me and that can direct you back to thinking and feeling what you want in the area of love, along with some examples where they might be helpful.

1) Example situation – You are currently single and really want to find the meaningful relationship you’ve always wanted.  Question: What is it that I really do want instead of where I’m at now?  I want to be in a relationship with a man who loves me.  I want to have fun and go exciting places with him every weekend.  I want to be myself when I’m around him and know he loves me.

What is it that you really want?

2) Example situation – You find that it’s not hard to date or be in a relationship but past relationships haven’t been as loving as you know you truly desire and you’re tentative about getting into something new for fear it will turn out the same.  Question: Why do I want to be in the totally loving relationship I know I truly deserve now?  I want my partner and I to openly say how much we love each other every day.  I want to be supported and inspired in my life by a loving partner.  I’m ready to grow personally and spiritually in a way that only a partnership can do for me now.

Why do you want it?

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3) Example situation – You know deep down you want to find your partner but based on your past experiences you still feel a lot of anger and fear about the idea of being with someone.  Questions: How do I want to feel instead?  I want to feel excited about meeting my soul mate.  I want to feel totally loved.  I want to feel safe and secure no matter what happens.

How do you want to feel?

These simple questions allow you to openly wonder about what it is you want, and in that place you will start to feel and vibrate more habitually where you want to be.  Just like building muscles, it takes practice reverting to those questions and going back to what you want in order for it to feel more natural.  So be kind to your self in this process but mostly just have fun with it.

Have a joyous time celebrating what you want this week!

Lots of love,

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Never Settling. In Love, or Ever.

One of the common reasons I hear amongst strong and independent singles, and myself when I was single, for not being in a committed relationship is refusing to settle. Which is a beautiful thing and an idea to be treasured – if not settling means one chooses only be around the people and things they truly LOVE instead.

In my case, I still settled without realizing it.  Yes, in romantic relationships but also sometimes with my choice of friends, in my employment, for the amount of compensation I would accept for my time, the clothing I would wear, the food I ate and in my surroundings.  My accepting of things just being okay attracted romance and other things into my life that were just that…okay.  Not mean or abusive or horrible.  But not people and things that I really LOVED and made my heart sing.

One of my favorite coaches, Christie Marie Sheldon, says that she won’t buy anything unless she truly is IN LOVE with it.  This idea really made me think about what I surround myself with on a whole new level.  If I’m surrounding myself with things that energetically make me feel blah, then my energy and my life will feel blah and the people around me probably feel I’m pretty blah, too.  But instead if I continually reinforce the idea and habit that I’m truly deserving of and will only accept (in the case of things that are my choice to have in my life) those things that make my heart sing, then energetically I will be resonating IN LOVE at least a majority of the time.

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I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this picture! Source – http://bayanjargal.com/

And this habit, this choice, this feeling of surrounding myself with the things that I love and that love me back formed the vibration that finally allowed me to be in a partnership where I truly love and am loved in return.  Love is a part of us in all areas of life – it’s up to us to choose to be aware of it and allow it in.

Next time you’re out shopping for something that isn’t a total necessity (although this might be appropriate, too, when it is something necessary like food) ask yourself, “Am I totally IN LOVE with this?”  Check in with how you’re feeling.  If the feeling isn’t love, then pass on the item and keep looking until something calls out to you.

Personally I’ve found that when I shop this way I not only save money but the item I buy is something I use joyfully and thoroughly!  Like my previously owned by a few owners, tan, stick shift, sedan.  She isn’t flashy but I loved her from the first time I saw her – she saved me money and she’s been so good to me (I think I mentioned her in my previous post as well)!

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Now I want to hear from you.  What items do you have that you truly and completely love?  How does that kind of love make you feel?  Please feel free to comment below!

Lots of love,

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